


The World Is Ugly (But You're Beautiful to Me)

by LaLa13



Category: Bandom, My Chemical Romance
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - Office, Artist Gerard, Asshole Gerard, Happy Ending, M/M, Mentions of Suicide and Depression, Mystery, OCs - Freeform, Personal Assistant Frank, Secrets
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-12
Updated: 2018-04-14
Packaged: 2018-12-26 22:06:49
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 22
Words: 69,299
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12067899
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/LaLa13/pseuds/LaLa13
Summary: Frank's lost his parents when he was sixteen and was now a nineteen year old who had to grow up way too fast. He was still struggling to find a job that didn't leave him struggling for money at the end of each month, not only for his sake but also his eight year old sister, Diana.Gerard was a young famous artist. No one knew anything about him really except that he was an arrogant rich hermit who had no interest in interacting with anyone beyond selling them his paintings.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Okay, I'm currently writing three Frerard fanfics (not here, on my laptop), but I had this idea all over my head (that possibly came as the result of reading too much asshole Frank/Gerard fics and/or assistants fics) and I had to write it. I wrote three chapters in two days, which is a record for me. So i think it's clear that Im in love with the idea already. 
> 
> Please, feel free to tell me what you think. I'll update faster if you do, promise.

"While writing emails, you have to write the subject before actually finishing writing the thing itself, or else you'll forget to and send it anyway."

Frank fought the urge of saying he already knew that, thanks, Emilia. He just nodded with a smile and hoped she would move along, oh, but that wasn't happening. The woman was persistent.

"You can't mess this up, Frank." Emilia went on, "if you do, it's going to  be on me because I'm supposed to be the one who coached you and then—"

"I know," Frank groaned and Emilia actually stopped and gave him a look, he tried to smile and add much more politely, "I mean, I know that you're trying your hardest to teach me, and I truly appreciate that. But  really, you've been teaching me how to write emails and organize  everything for two weeks. I can handle it." Frank tried that with his biggest fake smile. 

A moment passed and Frank almost thought that he wasn't convincing enough, until Emilia just rolled her eyes and sighed, "fine. Finish typing those emails and send them then come to my office so we can talk,"

Frank couldn't believe his ears and was actually about to give a real smile to the grumpy woman who was already on her way to her small office that was connected to the room Frank worked in, "put me as a BCC in those emails so I can check you wrote them correctly,"

Should've know. Frank almost said out loud as he went back to his computer, but that didn't matter anyway. He could take this. He was about to be over with this. For good. 

The emails didn't take that long to fill. They were mostly standard correspondents with companies and Frank only had to fill in the templates for each just like he's been taught. Granted he never thought he'd get such a job after graduating high school, but it was better than being a waiter or frying chicken all day (seriously, he was a vegetarian for goodness' sake).

It was true that Frank was only nineteen (going on twenty in a couple of months), but he knew he wasn't a kid anymore, what happened in his life so far made that fact very clear. Still that wasn't too bad. At least, not now. He still didn't have a proper apartment or a job that didn't leave him struggling with money at the end of each month, but he still managed and that was about to at least change, he was going to geta real job after weeks of training. It was all going to work out.

 

...

 

"Diana? I'm home!"

Frank called as he pushed open the door to the crappy tiny apartment. He threw his keys on the counter and smiled as he heard the little steps  coming from the direction of one of the two small rooms the place had. He turned and was greeted with a ball of arms and legs hugging him  fiercely. 

"Frankie!" The little girl exclaimed as she hugged him. Frank smiled as she looked at him.

"Hey, little angel," Frank answered as he patted her hair and kissed her forehead, "I thought we said bed time at nine?"

"Then why did you call me?" Diana asked as she put her hand on her hips, the girl was the sassiest eight year old he's ever known.

"Because I knew you wouldn't be in bed." Frank answered a little too quickly, they've had this discussion way too many times. He sat her down, "did  you eat your dinner?" He asked, setting on the couch, and Diana nodded. 

"I brought you something," he added that and Diana grinned as she sat in his lap.

"What?" She asked, too excited.

Frank grinned mischievously, "well, how about a kiss and I'll tell you?"

Diana picked him on the cheek too fast that Frank giggled when she leant back and looked at him like her eyes were saying: well?

Frank grinned and pulled out the sketchbook he had had in his jacket since he bought it after work. Diana's been asking him to buy her one for months, but they never had the money for it. Today, though, he was walking by the bookstore and couldn't help but think of how excited his little sister would be over it, so he bought it. He figured with the new job he could make up for it. Besides, the expression on little Diana's face right that second made it all worth it somehow. She put the book down after staring at it for a moment and then hugged her big brother by placing her arms around his neck and pulling his face towards her.

Frank giggled and hugged her back, "D, I'm actually choking here," hecouldn't help but squeeze out as she hugged him so bad he couldn'tbreathe.

"Thank you, Frankie!" Diana loosened her grip around his neck then kissed his cheek again. "I love it so much!"

Frank grinned and watched as her little hands picked the book back andstarted flipping through the blank pages adoringly. "It's so pretty, Frankie," she said looking up at him and smiling.

"Glad you liked it, little angel." He said as he ruffled her hair. She hated that, ever since she decided that her hair would always be in two braids all the time, she wouldn't let him touch it, but right now she seemed too excited to notice.

"Okay, sweetheart, time for bed, school tomorrow." He said after a while of watching Diana just staring at her new sketchbook.

She smiled as she fell from his lap to the floor, her tiny feet hesitatedbefore she turned to him again and pulled the book to her chest. "Can Itake it to bed with me?" She asked.

Frank didn't want to disappoint her but he knew she'd ruin in her sleep if she did, he sighed instead and put his hands on her little shoulders, "tell you what, why don't you go brush your teeth then wait for me with Harry Potter and we'll see?"

Diana smiled at that and ran to the bathroom forgetting her usual argument that she's already brushed her teeth before Frank made it home. They'd started reading Harry Potter a few weeks ago and Diana seemed to love the story right away, they were currently getting to the part where Harry sees his parents in the mirror of Erised and Frank was fearing that part. It's been only a few months that Diana's nightmares about their parents death stopped and Frank didn't want the story to trigger that. He's already talked about it with her school's shrink. The guy said it was probably fine, maybe even healthy for her to read about someone who's lost his parents like she did, but Frank was still worried.

Frank made himself get off the couch at last and dragged himself to his room to change and brush his teeth. He picked his old worn out copy of Harry Potter and The Sorcerer's Stone and headed to his little sister's room across from his. 

 

....

 

The taxi was slowly making its way through the crowded streets of New York as Frank read and re-read the paper he was holding. He's just finished talking with Emilia on the phone after finally managing to convince her that he was already on his way to the new job. She seemed skeptic at first and Frank had a mind of making her speak with the taxi driver to show her that he wasn't lying.

The papers he was holding contained everything he needed to know before arriving at the new job as Emilia made it clear. It supposedly had the place's address, which Frank's already given to the driver, their phone number, the guy he was working for's name and a five pages worth of information about the guy. Emilia's already told him to look the guy up on the Internet the night before so he wouldn't be surprised by the kind of work he was going to do for him, but she clearly didn't have faith he'd do it.

Frank put the papers he was holding down and looked out of the car's window. He already knew enough about the guy (yes, he had googled him the night before). Besides he was going to be the guy's PA, how hard was that going to be, anyway? 

To be honest, Emilia's already told Frank that the guy's already kicked out four of the PA's he's been sent by the company, saying they weren't competent enough for the job. She was just saying that as an example for Frank on how hard his job can be, but when Frank's seen how much the guy's been paying them, he had to claim that opportunity. Emilia strongly disagreed at first, saying Mr. Way (that was the dude's name) was one of their hardest to please clients. She said the reason the salary was that high was he was almost impossible to work for; he kept odd hours and was practically a workaholic and a perfectionist, but Frank wouldn't listen. He needed the money and he already knew what it was like to work for an asshole (which was the word he knew Emilia was just being too professional to use). Before trying for this hiring company, Frank had been working three jobs with each boss being more of an asshole than the other, but he still managed. How hard to please can this Mr. Way be anyway?

Frank's already read about the guy. He was an artist, and a famous one at that. He also wrote comics (The Umbrella Academy for example, which almost had Frank fanboy-ing the minute he read the guy's name as author. Seriously, it was one of his most favorite comics ever), but he was focusing more on painting now, which Frank couldn't blame him for anyway, the guy had literally made a fortune out of that. Frank's also read that he was somewhat of a hermit as well, he didn't like to leave his house much and he rarely made it to his own galleries, let alone tv interviews or even magazine interviews. Maybe that was whythe media liked to print so many rumors about the guy. Seriously, Frank's read that the guy was just an arrogant playboy. But someone who could produce so much art and beautiful stories couldn't be honestly that bad, could he?

The taxi finally made its stop and Frank was forced out of his thoughts to stare at the driver. They were parked by a large metal gate that was obviously of a house not an office. Did the guy get the address wrong? Or did Frank? Emilia was going to kill him.

"Excuse me, sir? I need to get going," the driver suddenly said to frozen Frank. He was still staring out the window at the metal gate.

"Umm, are you sure this is the right address?" Frank asked as he picked the paper the address was written on up again, checking.

"Yes, sir." The driver answered impatiently, "it's that famous artist's house. Gerry Way or something," 

"Gerard Way," Frank found himself correcting before he could stop himself. The guy worked from home? Turns out Emilia can too forget things.

"Sir?"The driver called again, clearly annoyed. Frank swallowed and paid him before stepping out the car and walking to the gate.

 

...

 

The place was huge.

Frank thought he had seen the house's true size from the outside, but the inside was a whole different story. It was like the place doubled in size once Frank started making his way up the stairs like the housekeeper's told him to find Mr. Way's office. It was like an art piece too, a huge carefully sculptured art piece. The stairs and furniture all screamed art and sophistication at him, from the paintings on the walls to marble pillars and mahogany tables. Frank couldn't stop staring.

After a while of getting lost and wondering, he finally managed to find Mr. Way's office. He breathed and knocked.

The quiet 'come in' came quickly and Frank opened the door immediately. He was directly faced with a man setting behind a huge mahogany desk, his head was down and all Frank could see was a mess of brown hair.

"Good morning, Mr. Way," Frank tried when the guy didn't even raise his head up. "I'm Frank, Frank Iero, your new PA?" He sort of asked to get the guy to at least look at him. Well, turns out Emilia was honest once in her life. The guy was an asshole. Frank waited patiently for him to finish whatever held his entire attention.

"You're late," was the only reply Frank got. He did not know what to say, it wasn't a question but he tried anyway.

"I got lost on the way up here," he decided to be honest, "I'm sorry, Mr. Way, it won't happen again."

Aminute passed before Mr. Way finally raised his head up and Frankliterally felt like he had the wind knocked out of him. The man was beautiful, his eyes especially, they were hazel and seemed to holdentire worlds in them. Frank blinked. He was fucked.

"You're right," the guy said and Frank felt his face burn. He didn't say that out loud, did he? "Because the next time you are, you better consider yourself fired before I fire you myself."

Frank didn't know what to say to that and apparently his new boss didn't expect him to, because he stood up and made his way to the door around Frank, "and don't callme Mr. Way, that was my father. My name's Gerard." He said as he faced Frank now, Frank nodded, not trusting his voice to answer.

Gerard. He liked that better.

 

...

 

Trust Frank Anthony Iero to have an immediate crush on his asshole boss on his first day at the job.

Frank could almost laugh at himself, appreciating the irony. Emilia had warned him he was going to quit the job because he wouldn't like the guy, and he now considered that possibility because he liked the guy too much. He felt like he could hit his head on the wall. Honestly, it was typical of him. Guys who are gorgeous and assholes. It was perfectly his type. Of course that was in school when the concept of the bad guy had its romanticism, but now it was just a disaster.

Even so, Frank still had no intention in quitting. First of all, he wasn't going to give Emilia the satisfaction (oh, don't judge him; he was pity). And secondly, he needed the money too much to throw away such an opportunity just because of a stupid crush. He might think his boss was gorgeous, so what? The guy was probably straight anyway, and even if he wasn't, what were the chances of him actually having the least interest in Frank? The guy was a millionaire, let alone a young, handsome one, he could find a dozen lovers by the flick of his finger. Frank could never hold his interest anyway.

Currently, Frank was at his new desk, right across from Gerard's office where he could find the guy whenever he needed to (ironically, Gerard wasn't there. He was at his studio working on some new pieces). He was supposed to reply to a few emails and sort out Gerard's schedule for next day. He had already finished the emails and about to start on the schedul. Apperantly, the previous PA had made one but was too messy that Frank couldn't make much of it, so he decide to start it over. He had always liked to have a paper one anyway, you know, just in case. It was also easier to edit and move around. So he was about to start on that wasn't for a maid coming to tell Frank Gerard needed him in his studio.

This time, Frank had the sense of telling the girl to actually physically guide him to the studio door. He thanked her then knocked before Gerard's quiet 'come in' came and he opened the door.

Frank stepped into the huge room. It was covered with canvases, that was the first thing he's noticed, some were blank, others were colored randomly (or at least, randomly to Frank) and others had faces and identifiable objects on them. Diana would lose her mind if she saw them, Frank thought with a mental chuckle at how he knew she'd react to this place, based on how she reacted to the sketchbook he bought her.

Frank tried not to stare, thankfully, that wasn't even hard as the room had these huge glass windows that covered the entire northern side of it. The sun rays coming from outside were enough to illuminate the entire place and Frank had to blink against it to see clearly. He spotted Gerard by one of them and walked to him.

Gerard was holding a brush seemingly completely absorbed in whatever he was painting at that moment. He had one between his teeth as well and a small wrinkle between his eyebrows as he concentrated harder on something Frank couldn't see from his angle. Frank didn't want to interrupt him so he took in the man's appearance instead. He had no idea when Gerard had changed his clothes, but he did, he wore more casual ones now and his brown hair was an absolute mess over his head, like he had ran his fingers too many times in it already. Frank swallowed before clearing his voice to make Gerard acknowledge him.

"Frank," Gerard seemed surprised like he wasn't the one who had called Frank up, as he put the brush between his teeth down, "you're here. Good. See those canvases?" He pointed at a group of the randomly(again, to Frank) painted canvases, "I want you to prepare them to being sent to the addresses in the paper on my desk."

A please with that would've been nice. Frank wanted to say but bit his tongue, "okay, I'll do that. Anything else?"

Gerard shook his head, already back to the world he was painting and Frank tried not to roll his eyes. Asshole? Check. Arrogant? Check. The guy was living up to his reputation too fast that Frank doubted by the end of the day, he'd be able to call every magazine he read about Gerard in the night before and congratulate them on nailing the guy's personality on the head.

"Oh and Frank?" Gerard called right before Frank managed to hold the canvases well enough in his arms and move to the door, "I've decided that you being late this morning was unacceptable." Frank almost dropped the canvases, was Gerard firing him? "So I've decided that you'll be living here from now on."

Gerard said that so casually that Frank let out a breath just because it wasn't 'you're fired'. He had already went out of the room before he realized what Gerard said. He was so happy that he wasn't going to be fired that moment that he didn't realize what Gerard was saying basically the same thing.

He was fired.


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> If you're reading this, please leave a comment telling me what you think. I'd really appreciate that. Enjoy.

The clock was getting closer to six pm when Frank finally managed to finish filling up the agenda he's found in one of the drawers in his new desk with Gerard's schedule. He filled it carefully and made sure he had no emails left to reply to before finally deciding to bite the bullet and go talk to Gerard.

The few feet that separated Gerard's office from Frank's desk felt like miles. Frank really didn't want to do this. He liked his new job, despite the mini freak out he had over Gerard that morning. He liked the idea that he could actually afford decent Christmas presents for his little sister that year, even a decent Halloween costume that he didn't have to paint on her face. He liked having a secure income for once in his life not gained by slaving for hours in food service. But there was no way he would be able to move in with Gerard in his house. He couldn't leave Diana alone and so Gerard wasn't going to let him stay in the job.

Frank finally made it to Gerard's door and knocked. Gerard's been there for a few hours after he finished at the studio. He hadn't left and hadn't Frank been transferring calls to him all afternoon, he would've thought the guy was dead or something.

Gerard's quiet come in got Frank in. Frank was almost used to it by now that he had to suppress a grimace on knowing he wouldn't hear it again. Goodness Frank, get a grip.

“Yes, Frank?” Gerard said while reading something between his hands, sipping on a cup of coffee. Frank waited until he signed whatever he's been reading and looked up at him. “I don't have all night, Frank.” Gerard suddenly said and Frank realized he's been staring, he looked away.

“I just wanted to tell you I was done for the day,” Frank blurted out.

“Good,” Gerard said as he went back to reading, “do you need me to give you written permission to go home?” He added with an annoyed voice as he looked up again.

Frank tried not to snap at him, the guy was just an asshole boss, just an asshole boss, Frank… “no, I was just coming to talk to you about moving in tomorrow,”

Gerard actually dropped the papers he's been reading, he seemed more annoyed now and looked up at Frank as if saying _well?_ When Frank didn't reply, however, he said, “I can't read minds, Frank,”

“Well, the thing is, Gerard, I have an eight-year-old sister and I'm her only guardian. I can't leave her alone. I'm sorry. I—” Frank answered, bluntly.

“Why don't you move in your stuff in while she's at school?” Gerard's seemed genuinely curious now like he couldn't understand Frank's argument at all, then something in his eyes lit and he added, “if her school is the problem, have the driver get her to and from it, anything else?”

Frank couldn't help but let his mouth drop. Gerard meant him _and_ Diana to move in? “No,” he answered once he was over his shock, “I mean, no nothing else. I'll have _our_ things moved tomorrow morning.” Frank tried to emphasise the word our as much as he could to make sure Gerard was actually aware of what he was offering.

Gerard nodded impatiently at that and waved Frank off. Frank was so shocked he didn't even feel offended.

…

“But I like our home,”

Diana said for the tenth time that morning and Frank just looked at her across the kitchen island they were eating breakfast at. “I know, little angel. But we’ll have so much fun there, I promise. You’ll have a bigger room and your own bathroom.” Frank repeated for the tenth time as well; they've already had that argument the night before and he thought he got Diana at least a little excited about moving, but she only seemed to change her mind overnight. Frank knew it had to do with her hating change in all its forms, especially after their parents' death. She was still too young back then to get it, but they had to move houses right after and she must've connected all the bad memories of missing them to moving.

Frank sighed, “come here,” he said as Diana finished her cereal. She fell off her stool and came to him and he bent down to her level, “look, remember when Harry had to move to Hogwarts and he liked it there? He liked the castle and he learned new things there. Moving isn't always bad, D.”

Diana tightened her hand over her backpack's straps that she's been holding and looked down, “but Harry lived with the Dursleys and he hated them, they made him live under the stairs.” She looked up, “I live with you and I love you.”

Frank smiled and hugged his little sister, “and I'm not going anywhere, sweetie. It'll be like our own adventure, okay? Can you at least try, for me?”

Diana sighed like she was just accepting it for his sake and nodded.

“Good,” Frank said and kissed her forehead, “now come on, we’ll be late. I need to drop you off to school so I can go back to get our stuff. Come on, little monkey.”

Diana giggled at that as she ran to the door. He's forgotten how much she liked that nickname, he made a mental note to call her that more often.

...

  
The second day of Frank working as Gerard's PA ended much quicker than Frank had anticipated. He finished moving his and Diana's stuff that morning and made sure Diana's room was made like she liked to. He went back to work as quickly as he could afterwards and before he knew it, he was giving Gerard's driver the address to Diana's school.

Frank was in the middle of declining a talk show request for an interview with Gerard when Diana arrived at his desk, looking impressed. It's been so long since Frank's seen his sister right after she left school that he couldn't help the smile at her as she put her backpack down and sat in one of the chairs by his desk, still looking at everything around her in admiration.

Frank's just put the phone down before Diana exclaimed: “it is like Hogwarts, Frankie!”

Frank chuckled and motioned for his sister to lower her voice. “Glad you like it, little monkey, but I have to work right now, and you need to go change for dinner, okay?” Diana nodded, “okay, I can't leave my desk right now, but there's a very nice lady in the room right next to mine. Her name’s Rose and she's going to show you your room and get you to the kitchen to eat,”

Rose, the nice housekeeper offered to take care of Diana once Frank told her about his little sister. He had refused at first so not to bother her with something that wasn't her job, but she insisted. Frank couldn't be more grateful at the moment.

“Okay, Frankie.” Diana said as she stood and picked her backpack up, “I'll see you tonight?”

Frank smiled and nodded as he had to pick up the phone again, but Diana's seemed satisfied enough with his answer that she ran out immediately. Sometimes, Frank gets worried about how the girl takes everything so well, like her big brother having to work instead of talking to or taking care of her. Any normal eight year old wouldn't, but she did. It worried him how fast she had to grow up sometimes.

…

“Are you Snape?”

Frank was making his way towards the kitchen when he heard that and recognized it was his little sister’s voice. He had just finished working for the day (it was already nine pm at the moment, again, turns out Emilia hadn't been kidding when she said Gerard was a workaholic). He smiled at that and wondered who Diana was talking to.

When Frank had made it to the kitchen, however, all he could see was Gerard's back, it was then that he made the connection and froze.

“What?” Gerard was asking, genuine curiosity in his voice.

“Professor Snape,” Diana clarified, Frank could see her in front of Gerard, looking up at him, her voice curious, “your hair is like his,”

Frank had to suppress his giggle at Diana's analogy, now that he made the connection, Gerard's hair kind of looked like what Snape's been described in the books (since Diana still hadn't watched the movies to recognize Snape as Alan Rickman).

“I'm Gerard,” Gerard answered awkwardly and Frank had to giggle quietly at that now. Who knew Gerard was the absolute worst at interacting with children? Frank decided to wait and see what he was going to say more.

“Who are you?” Gerard asked at last.

“I'm Diana. Frankie's sister,” Diana answered confidently.

“Frankie?” Gerard repeated.

Frank decided to come into view at that, just in case Gerard decided to say something asshole-like. Once Diana noticed him, she ran at him. He picked her up and she circled his neck with her arms.

Diana buried her face in her brother’s neck, “hey little monkey,” Frank whispered to her before looking at Gerard. Frank had to suppress a laugh at how he looked. He was still in his studio clothes (which Frank realized he only wore when he painted), clutching his coffee mug to his chest and just staring wide-eyed at Frank and Diana.

“She's your sister,” Gerard said like a conclusion. Before Frank could reply, he had already turned and was filling his coffee mug from the machine.

Frank ignored that and hugged his little sister tighter, “how about you go up wash your teeth and wait for me with Harry Potter, D?”

Diana seemed to like that, she jumped out of Frank's arms and ran out, but before she did, she half-turned to Gerard, ”goodnight, Gerard,” She said quietly before running out.

Gerard seemed to freeze over the coffee machine. He was holding the coffee filters in his hand. Frank wondered if he was going to reply, but he only decided turned his head and to see it was only him and Frank now in the kitchen.

“I'm sorry about that,” Frank found himself saying, although he wasn't sure why. He guessed he just felt bad at how out of place Gerard looked, or he just wanted the guy to talk to him, seriously, what was up with that? “We have just started reading Harry Potter, and she kind of decided your house looks like Hogwarts,” Frank said with a smile he couldn't help as he poured himself some water.

“Don't worry about it,” Gerard said, finishing preparing the coffee machine, not looking at Frank.

“You didn't have dinner,” Frank found himself saying yet again. Gerard looked at him questionably for a second, like he was asking for his point. Frank felt awkward for a second, “Are you going somewhere?” He instead asked as he noticed Gerard was now putting together a thermostat filled with coffee.

Gerard nodded then left the place altogether, not even dignifying Frank with a decent answer and Frank had half a mind of just shouting _asshole_ at his boss's back. Instead, he just whispered it under his breath before finally deciding to follow Diana up. She'd be waiting for him and Gerard's whereabouts were clearly not a concern of his.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for anyone who interacted with the story! I truly appreciate it! As usual, if you're reading this, please leave a comment to tell me what you think. I need some constructive criticism and I'd be forever grateful. Thank you. Enjoy.

“ _F_ _rankie_ ,” Diana whined loudly and looked at her older brother in annoyance. Frank just laughed mischievously and ignored her.

“Frankie, please please _please_ ,” Diana now started saying and tried to snatch the remote from her brother’s hands.

Frank sighed now and knew he couldn't ignore the matter any longer, “D, I'm not letting you. You're too young.” He said much more seriously. Sometimes the lines between parent and brother blurred so much that he almost forgot how to deal with Diana. He supposed now he had to stop being the older brother and start the role of the parent.

Diana pouted and crossed her arms over her chest, Frank almost recognized the way she acted when she's mad as the way he did, but he ignored that. If it was a different situation, he might have acted differently, he knew, but it wasn't, he can't soften.

A minute passed before Diana seemed to finally realize that Frank wasn't about to change his mind and stormed out of his room angrily. She even slammed the door behind her for effect, causing Frank to flinch, he couldn't wait for her to become a teenager now.

Frank sighed, a few minutes earlier, he found Diana going through his DVDs collection, which mostly consisted of horror movies. Frank had told her not to go through them alone before. He tried to joke about it and put one of her Disney movies in the player instead, but she just started begging him and he knew then he had to stop playing the big brother role and enter the parent role. As expected, Diana didn't accept that very well.

After a few minutes of staring at the device in front of him playing some Disney movie Diana used to love just a few weeks before, Frank finally gave up on the fact that she might come back and turned the thing off. He rubbed his face with his hands. Diana had never acted that way towards him before, she was usually very grown up for her age and accepted Frank's explanations well, but Frank supposed everything had its limits. Diana was still an eight year old, he sometimes had to remind himself. Sometimes he just had to use the old parents ' _because I said so'_ excuse. Even if he didn't like it.

It was their first weekend at Gerard's house, and Frank supposed having to tell Diana that every room other than theirs in the place was off limits seemed to upset her. She had told Frank earlier that week that she couldn't wait for the weekend to explore the ‘castle’ better, and Frank remembered how her face fell when he told her that that wasn't possible. He had known it was harsh of him, but their living there didn't change the fact that it wasn't their home. It was true that Gerard didn't give him a set of rules to the place, but Frank decided to do not test them anyway. Besides, God knows where Diana can get herself, she was a very curious child and it was more for her safety than anything else.

Speaking of Gerard, Frank hadn't seen him all day. It had nothing to do with him deciding not to venture into the house, but more with Gerard being in his studio all day. Yeah, the guy worked even on weekends. Frank had thought his job would extend to the weekend at first too, but Gerard hadn't made any indication towards that, so Frank didn't ask.

To tell the truth, with the exception of Gerard's weird work mannerism, Frank found himself if not enjoying his job (come on, who would really enjoy replying to emails and answering angry journalists on the phone all day?), at least enjoying the fact that he managed to do it well. He did everything Gerard asked from him and did everything that he was meant to do. It was the first time in his life that he actually felt like something depended completely on him and he couldn't be prouder that he managed to live up to that. He sometimes tried to imagine how his sixteen or seventeen-year-old self would react to that, that boy would have never been able to do it. He was too busy throwing himself every night into mosh pits and drinking himself into a coma with his ‘friends’ behind his parents back. Frank knew he had to pay a very high price for all that to change. In a way, it felt like everything that happened had saved his life in the end. He still enjoyed his music and the occasional concert here and there, but now he knew he couldn't get himself into something too reckless because it wasn't just him who would hurt now, but someone else who'd lose everything if he did.

Of course, enjoying living up to the responsibility of his new job didn't mean that his boss had changed. In fact, Gerard seemed to withdraw into himself even more. The silent interactions and the arrogant behavior continued throughout the week, and it frustrated Frank to no end. He tried to establish the least form of professional relationship with Gerard ( _professional_ being the keyword), but the man didn't seem to budge. He didn't answer any of Frank's questions and didn't ask Frank any in return; he still went out every other night to God knows where and Frank was usually asleep whenever he came home.

In short, Gerard Way seemed to turn into a mystery that every time Frank tried to solve a part of got more complicated.

When Frank finally realized if he didn't move he'd end up thinking about Gerard all day, he finally decided to get up and see what Diana was doing, maybe bribe her into forgiving him.

…

The library was eerie that time of day, that was possibly why Gerard liked it so much. He did enjoy reading occasionally there but he also liked the atmosphere as well. He liked the quietness and the feeling of being isolated from the world, so he made it a habit to go there for some quiet time on the weekends after working in his studio for a few hours. It helped too that the place was huge as well, filled with shelves after shelves getting to the high ceiling with tall glass windows. It reminded him of the kind of libraries you read about in old books, the ones where the hero or heroine would find themselves after exploring an old castle. It was, in addition to the room he turned to his studio, the selling point really when he bought the place.

If asked, Gerard actually believed he spent most of his time either at the library or his studio, he had clear instructions to the house staff to never disturb him while there. So, it was clearly a surprise when he got to his favorite corner to see it was already occupied.

At first, Gerard's thought he was seeing things, but when he blinked and could still see the little girl sitting on the cushioned windowsill, holding a book in her tiny hands, he didn't know what to do. He recognized her as Frank's sister, Diana, but was still confused about what she was doing there.

“Ahhh,” he didn't mean to say it, but the sound came out anyway. He actually meant to say hi or something equally friendly but it still worked, he got the girl’s attention anyway. The little girl quickly raised her head in his direction. Gerard didn't know what he expected, but when she smiled when she saw him, he knew he hadn't expected that.

“Gerard, hi!” She said and waved to him.

Gerard stilled in his place. People never greeted him like that, not this carefree anyway, even when they did, it was never like they were actually glad to see him, it was usually laced with fake respect or fear.

“Hi,” he found himself saying and getting closer to her. He had half a mind to turn around and ignore the whole thing. But the child was so small, with her little legs dangling from the windowsill and her tiny braids. She didn't seem at all scary like most adults he interacted with. However, once he was near enough he froze a second time, was there a certain protocol when you interact with kids?

“I like your books,” the little girl said. She was still gazing at the thing between her hands and Gerard looked and realized it was an X-Men comic book, one of his childhood ones. “I like her,” she pointed at a figure and Gerard could see she meant Storm. In that panel she was using her powers to stop a plane from crashing, he smiled.

“She's pretty badass, isn't she?” Gerard found himself saying before he could stop himself.

Diana giggled and Gerard looked at her to see what was funny, “Frankie says that's a bad word,”

Gerard actually stuttered. He only got one word with the kid and he was already corrupting her, he tried to imagine Frank's reaction to that.

“Don't worry I won't tell him,” Diana then whispered like she was telling a secret. Gerard smiled again. “He's mad at me anyway,” she added.

“Why is he mad at you?” Gerard asked as he sat by her.

Diana looked troubled for a second and Gerard could recognize the look as the exact one Frank would get when he found something he's asked a little troubling, he almost laughed at that but stopped himself, he didn't want Diana to think he was laughing at her.

“I wanted to watch one of his movies and he didn't want me to,” she finally said looking down, “I'm not a kid anymore. I'm going to be nine in two months,” she said that looking Gerard in the eye, dead serious that Gerard had to just nod, “he says I'm still too young to watch them,” she looked miserable and Gerard felt instantly sorry.

...

“Frankie! Frankie!”

Frank was startled when he heard his name being yelled from his room. He knew it was Diana and instantly let out a breath realizing he's found her. He's been searching for her for the past hour. He had gone to her room then back to his, when he didn't find her there, he kind of got himself into panic mood. The house was huge, he didn't even know where to look. After searching the expected places, he decided to go back to her room again, only to hear the shouts from his.

“Diana,” he breathed as he made his way into the room. She was standing by his bed and Frank went straight to her. “Where have you been? I searched the whole place for you! What were you thinking?!” He knew he was frightening her, but that only was a reflection to the frightening scenarios his head seemed to conjure up for every minute he spent looking for her.

“I'm sorry, Frankie,” she apologized and Frank felt his heart melt at her expression.

“D,” Frank sighed, then said much more calmly, “do you have any idea how panicked I was? Don't ever do that to me again,”

Diana nodded, still looking down. Frank just went on and hugged her. He didn't care if she was mad at him, he just wanted to hold her.

“Frankie?” She said again with a small voice after Frank released her, “are you still mad?”

“No,” Frank answered before he could think, he could never stay mad at Diana. He patted her hair and tried to smile, “I was just scared, D. I can never get mad at you anyway,”

Diana smiled, “can I tell you something?” She asked again but less careful now, Frank waited, “Gerard wants us to watch a movie together.”

“ _Gerard_?”  

“Yes, he told me to go call you. Can we, Frankie? Can we, please?”

Frank didn't know what to say; Gerard had talked to Diana? And he wanted to watch a movie? “D, I'm not sure that's—”

“But Frankie,” Diana interrupted, “he said I should ask you. Can we Frankie? Can we have a movie night?” She was too excited that Frank didn't have it in his heart to turn her down, he just wasn't sure that that was what Gerard had meant. No, actually, if he knew the man at all, he was pretty sure Diana must’ve misunderstood him completely.

“Okay, D.” He said, at last, trying to go with her. He didn't want to get her upset again. He needed to find Gerard, “why don't we go find Gerard first?”

Diana grinned widely at that and instantly held Frank's hand and began pulling him out of the room.

…

“D, will you slow down?” Frank called after his sister that had practically jumped the stairs two at a time and was now fully running towards the living room.

“Gerard! I brought him! He said it was okay!” Diana instead shouted.

In a second, Gerard was there. He was holding the remote control in his hand, looking frustrated. His hair was messier than usual and he was still in his painting clothes that were covered in paints, marking how much time he's spent in his studio. “Oh, good,” he said once he spotted Frank, then went back in the room without a second glance.

Frank stood in his place for a moment in surprise. What was going on? Did Gerard just have a normal interaction with Diana of all people? Was he dreaming? Or Has Gerard been kidnapped by aliens and replaced by someone who liked people? At the moment, that seemed the reasonable explanation. If it wasn't for Diana pulling on his hand, Frank was positive he would've stood there for much longer just staring at where Gerard stood.

Going into the room seemed to only confirm Frank's third guess, that was definitely not Gerard there, holding wires in his hands and kneeling by a DVD player on the ground. The thing looked brand new and Frank was sure he hadn't seen it in the living room before.

“Did you just buy this?” Frank blurted out.

Just at the moment the question left Frank's mouth, Gerard apparently managed to wire the device correctly and the image appeared on the large tv hanging on the wall, causing Diana to clap her hands with a jump, and Gerard to let out a breathless  _finally._

“No, I had it for years but didn't have a reason to wire it,” Gerard answered Frank as he stood up, looking at him.

“Can we watch the horror movie now?” Diana said causing both men to look at her instead of each other.

“Diana, why don't you go to the kitchen and see if Rose had finished with the snacks?” Gerard instead asked her, looking at Frank like he was asking if it was okay, Frank nodded.

Diana grinned and said, “okay! But don't start without me!” To which Gerard replied with, “we won't, promise,” before she ran out.

Frank stood where he was, he was so confused he didn't know where to begin. Should he first apologize for Diana's behavior? Did it even require an apology? Or should he get mad that Gerard wanted to show his eight-year-old sister a horror movie in the first place?

In the end, it seemed that Frank didn't have to say anything, his feelings must've shown on his face because Gerard said, “I'm sorry about this,”

And now Frank had to do a double-take. What the hell was going on?

“Uh..” That was apparently all that Frank's verbal ability could come up with at the moment.

“I found her at the library looking miserable. She said you were mad at her because she wanted to watch one of your movies and, well, I had this idea,” Gerard started explaining awkwardly, running his hand through his hair. Frank almost forgot what he wanted to say at how doing that somehow made the man look more attractive… He blinked and tried to remember what they were even talking about as Gerard pointed around with a crooked smile that didn't seem intentionally crooked at all, at the tv and the DVD player, but all Frank could think of really was just how he'd never seen Gerard smile before and how right now was the absolute worst time for him to do it.

“Frank?” Gerard repeated and Frank snapped out if it.

 _Right. Diana. Eight years old. Young for horror movies._ “Look, Gerard, I really appreciate it but she's just too young—”

“I know,” Gerard cut him short, “that's why I thought she might enjoy this,” he pointed at the DVD cases on the coffee table by them. Only then Frank seemed to notice what Gerard was trying to do.

Gerard, however, seemingly not getting why Frank lost his verbal ability for the third time, looked down and pulled at his hair again “I know it's not my place. If you don't want her to watch them, I'll—”

“No,” Frank didn't mean that, _at all_ , “I actually have no idea why I haven't thought of this myself,” he said picking the DVD case of _Hocus Pocus_ up in his hand. He chuckled, “this is actually a brilliant idea,”

Gerard looked up with wide eyes like he couldn't believe what he was hearing. Okay, Frank _must_ be in a parallel universe. But before he could say a thing, Diana made her way into the living room giggling and jumping announcing that Rose was coming with snacks and that they needed to start the movie.

 

…


	4. Chapter 4

Frank felt like a teenager on his first date.

Okay, maybe he was _technically_ still a teenager at nineteen, but right now he felt like he was more of a fifteen year girl old on her first date. No, actually, scratch that, he felt like he was a fifteen year old on his first date with his crush who he wasn't allowed to touch, which really defeated the idea of a date anyway.

Frank was _trying_ to watch the movie. He was, he could swear, but Gerard was so distracting he had no idea what was going on in the movie anymore. He had never spent so much time with Gerard in the same place before, and apparently no matter how much time passed, he still could find something to distract him in the man he was setting by, especially that Diana's insisted on turning off the lights and now all Frank could do was stare at Gerard's face from the corner of his eye as the lights from the screen lit it. With every scene change, Gerard's face was casted in a different color and Frank couldn't help it.

“Frank,”

Frank was so wrapped up that he flinched at his name being whispered by Gerard. He turned to the man sitting on the other side of Diana (she's insisted on sitting in the middle while both of them sat on each side of her). Gerard's face was so close and now illuminated by a blue light and Frank decided that was the prettiest color to illuminate the other man's features so far.

“Huh?” He asked.

Gerard only pointed down with his eyes. Frank took a moment before realizing that he was pointing at Diana, she had snuggled at Frank's side a few minutes earlier and judging by her breaths, Frank knew she was sleeping. He tried to move slowly so not to stir her up, but she didn't move as he stood up. He looked at Gerard for a moment as he stood before him, but couldn't see anything as he was blocking the screen and so he ducked and carried Diana in his arms instead.

Gerard sat properly after Frank managed to hold his baby sister in his arms, he seemed like he wanted to say something, but changed his mind as Frank moved to the door. Frank felt like he had to say something, in the end, he just turned and said, “I'll be back,” barely above a whisper, but Gerard must've heard him because he nodded as he put the almost empty popcorn bowl he had in his lap on the coffee table in front of him.

...

Diana moved a bit as Frank put her in bed, but thankfully didn't wake up. She just hugged her blanket. Frank brushed her hair off her forehead and smiled. He's missed this. It was true that he got to put her in bed most of the time back before working for Gerard, but then he's always used to be too tired or needing to be at some job to actually spend time with her.

Now that he thought about it, it was probably the first weekend in a while that Frank's spent with Diana propably since he finished high school. He felt something constrict his chest, that was most likely why Diana was going through his DVDs in the first place. She must've realized it was their first weekend together in a while and wanted to spend it together doing something they both enjoyed.

Frank moved the blanket to cover up sleeping Diana's shoulders and meant to turn after promising himself to spend more time with her, he noticed the sketchbook he's bought her on the nightstand by her head. She's already decorated the cover with water colors and her name. He didn't go through it because he respected her privacy even if she was too young to know better. He decided to wait and see if she'd show him on her own later.

…

Frank was on his way to the living room when he noticed Gerard hadn't turned the lights on, he realized Gerard might have just left and couldn't help the flicker of disappointment, but when he made it into the room, he saw Gerard still sitting on the sofa.

A moment passed that Frank took Gerard in, he was still sitting in the same position Frank's left him in, still watching the movie playing on the screen with lights flickering over his features, giving certain places shadows in a moment and others in the next. Frank stared until he realized Gerard wasn't there in the first place, not mentally at least. He was thinking of something troubling, Frank could tell because no matter what the scenes changed into, Gerard's expression remained the same. He wondered if he should turn around and leave.

In the minute Frank decided to turn around, Gerard looked up at him and smiled, a small form of his crooked smile that made Frank's heart stop. Frank blinked, when he opened his eyes, Gerard's smile was still there.

“Is she still sleeping?” Gerard said in the same quiet voice he used to tell Frank Diana was sleeping.

“Yeah,” Frank said clearing his voice and managing to look away, “she didn't even stir,”

Gerard didn’t say anything else, but Frank could tell he was also taking Frank in as well. For a second, Frank felt so self conscious that he wanted to move somewhere Gerard couldn't give him that look, but he didn't have to, the movie on the tv ended and the screen turned black, casting the whole place in darkness.

Frank could tell Gerard has moved, and a free a second, then the lights were back on causing him to blink a few times against them, when he opened his eyes again, Gerard had moved around Frank to the door.

“I need to go,” Gerard said, urgency in his voice.

Frank turned to him, “where?” The clock was turning ten and Frank knew Gerard didn't have night appointments, he wrote the man's schedule.

Gerard didn't answer and Frank knew his asshole boss was back and the nice guy who arranged a movie marathon to an upset eight year old was gone, just like that

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the short chapter and the lateness in the romance in general. It's a slow build up, but it's coming, I promise.
> 
> Please leave a comment telling me what you think.


	5. Chapter 5

_Gerard Arthur Way is an American artist and comic book writer. He wrote the Esiner Award winning comic book The Umbrella Academy…_

  
Frank stared for the hundredth time that night at Gerard's Wikipedia page. He had left the living room only a few minutes earlier after finally getting over the shock of Gerard's sudden return to mood swings. He had come up to his bedroom determinedly deciding not to think of what happened and planning on sleeping. As it was becoming clearer, it wasn't happening.

He surprisingly hadn't even found himself feeling like a zombie like he usually did by that hour at night. It was certainly a first. Trying to make much out of it and considering he still had a day off the next day, he took a long shower then tried reading and eventually played his guitar for a few hours, something he hadn't done in weeks (at least, not for hours on end, he usually got a few minutes play every other day). Usually, he couldn't wait till he could jump straight into bed after managing to read to or force Diana to shower or do something before sleep. Of course, with that and after being stuck at work all day, thinking before falling asleep was a luxury he didn't have in years. Tonight, it was a whole other story.

Frank checked his laptop clock, it was getting closer to three in the morning and his brain had no interest in sleeping or anything apperantly other that re-reading Gerard Way’s Wikipedia page.

Admitedly, Frank had read the article before, back when Emilia told him to so he wouldn't screw his job up. So eventually, he searched Gerard's name in the news section of Google, coming up with hundreds of articles, the latest of which was a taploid story about Gerard seeing some celebrity, which Frank knew was a lie.

He scrolled down and found older articles, dating back to the begining of Gerard's fame and started reading.

After almost an hour of reading, all what Frank's gathered was this: Gerard was twenty four years old. His father was a famous architect and had made the family fortune out of that. Donna and Don Way, Gerard's parents, died years ago, the only family Gerard had now was a younger brother, Michael Way (of which absolutly no information was mentioned).

Gerard's apparently graduated SVA and had lived in the city ever since, making himself a name as a talented artist in just a couple of years since he graduated. Frank was impressed, Gerard hadn’t even used his family fortune for that, he started selling his paintings at some point in art school and got involved in comics for a couple of years before finally committing to art.

No information of Gerard's current private life was mentioned anywhere, safe for the tabloids, of course. There were a few rumors about him being bisexual, but Frank tried to not think about that.

All in all, Frank felt frustrated as he read more and more about the man. He groaned and slammed his laptop shut, then laid back on the bed with his hands knitted under his head.

What was it about Gerard that made him care so much? It was true that he had instantly felt something towards him, but he could never act on that, there was so much as stake. First of all, he wasn't going to do that to Diana, not emotionally, nor was he going to jeopardize the first job he got that was so good for both of them. Besides, it wasn't like Gerard was actively trying to become his best friend anyway. If Frank thought about it, he could even say that Gerard only tolerated his existence for the sole sake of running his life for him, something Frank knew that Gerard would never be able to do on his own.

_So why did he care?_

….

There was no moon that night.

That was the first thing Gerard noticed as he made his way out of his car, it reminded him of another similar night, but he forced himself not to think about it and rubbed his face with his hands before finally getting enough energy to make it towards the door.

He was always exhausted coming home at night like this. His fingers ached for something, and wasn't he so tired he couldn't stand or keep his eyes open, he would've got himself to his studio. Paint the feelings away. After all, it was better than thinking about what he really wanted in his hands, but he never would. After all these years, he still remembered his promise.

The stairs looked so long from where he stood that suddenly, the idea of getting himself upstairs, to his bedroom then his bed felt like too much work. He instead found himself going to the living room.

“Gerard?”

Gerard had just stepped into the dark room when he heard that. He looked at the sofa in front of the tv and found the the person who called setting and holding the remote control in his hands, the light coming from the tv lighting his face.

Gerard stood there and stared for a second, he had no idea why it felt weird to find Frank there. He knew the younger man had been living in his house for a week now, but seeing him there, in his pajamas watching tv in the middle of the night, made it feel more real somehow.

“Gerard, are you okay?” Frank asked with more worry than shock in his voice now.

“I'm fine,” Gerard lied and took his jacket off, tossing it on a nearby chair, “what are you doing here?”

Frank looked embaressed for a second. No, Gerard didn't mean that. He didn't mean it like he knew frank took it. “I couldn't sleep,” he answered sheepishly.

Gerard decided somewhere in the back of his mind that he hated that look on Frank's face. It didn't seem natural for some reason. Maybe because he was so used to the fire in his eyes that he found it disturbing to see him apolagitic for something he didn't need to be apolagitic for.

“You look tired,” Frank said a moment later, “are you sure you're okay?”

“I'm not,” Gerard found himself answering truthfully. He didn't know where the _I'm fine_ lie went. He was just too tired.

In a second, Frank stood up and walked towards him. Gerard didn't move, he just kept thinking how Frank's touch was coming, but Frank hesitated on the last step and stood before him, too close.

Frank stuffed his hands in his hoodie’s pockets and looked down then up. It felt like it took too long, but Frank must’ve seen something in Gerard's eyes, because he got his hands out of his pockets and reached over, for Gerard’s shoulder.

Gerard didn't know if it was disappointment or relief that he felt when Frank's hand fell lightly on his arm instead. He could instantly feel his touch warming his skin through his shirt. He shivered. Why was he so cold?

A moment passed and Gerard realized he had closed his eyes, Frank's grip on his arm wasn't tight, or even holding, but he felt like it was steadying him. Like he was the only thing stopping him not to fall. Like Frank was his last grip on reality.

_What was he doing?_

“You should go to sleep,” Frank's words came in whisper, shutting Gerard's racing thoughts. He opened his eyes and looked into Frank's, before nodding, but made no attempt at moving. Why did he just notice Frank's eyes? The dim light did little about illuminating them, but he could still see the green streaks in the mix of the hazel irises. Gerard blinked at the sudden need to draw them, he hadn't felt that about anything since—

“Thank you for today,” Frank was saying now, looking back at him, though Gerard doubted he could see the shock in them as he was giving his back to the light.

Gerard blinked again. “What?”

“Today. For Diana,” Frank explained, “you didn't have to do it,”

Gerard suddenly got what Frank meant. He remembered that evening with Frank and Diana and he wanted to smile, but couldn't make up the energy for it. It felt so distant now, like it happened a very long time ago.

“You don't have to thank me,” Gerard said sincerely, “I wanted to do it,”

Frank smiled. Gerard blinked.

Gerard didn't know what his expression was like, but it must've reflected some form of incomprehension because Frank said, “thank you anyway.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm posting this while on-call in my break (I'm a med student), it's currently 2:15 am where I am and I barely can type this but I couldn't wait to show you guys want I had for this story, so here it is.
> 
> Please, leave a comment to tell me what you think, I'll update faster if you do!


	6. Chapter 6

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> It's finally done! I can't even believe it to be honest. It's the longest chapter so far and that's why it took too long (sorry). I think it's my favorite so far too. Please, don't forget to leav a comment, espeacilly on this one, i really, really want to know if you like where the story is headed.

 

“I DON’T CARE!”

Frank was at his desk but still could hear Gerard's shout from the other room. It's been a cranky morning, for both of them, but while Frank had to suck it up and do his job, Gerard's been shouting down the phone all morning, even before Frank made it down. He hadn't even left for his studio as usual and stayed in his office all morning. Frank didn't know what was worse, the silent grumpy Gerard or the shouting angry one.

_Crash._

Frank was still replying to the second chunk of emails in Gerard's inbox, when he heard the sound coming from Gerard's office. He was opening the door before he could think.

“Gerard?” He called but got nothing and when he couldn't see the man anywhere, he panicked and turned around the desk.

Gerard was kneeling on the floor with his head down, and all Frank could see of him was his hair, but he was moving and so Frank let out a breath. He didn't know what he thought, but an image of Gerard lying unconscious on the floor has definitely crossed his mind. When he moved closer, he found Gerard picking up pieces of what appeared to be a coffee mug that Frank’s always seen on his desk, or clutched in his hands wherever he went.

Frank kneeled by him; all he could see was Gerard's hands shaking around the pieces and he couldn't really help himself. Fearing he might cut himself, Frank took the pieces out of his hands, but Gerard wouldn't let him.

“Here, let me,” he said when Gerard wouldn't stop picking the pieces up with shaking hands. He looked up at Frank for a moment like he just realized he was there, then finally gave up and dropped the pieces, setting with one knee up and leaning his back on the side of his desk.

When Frank looked up after gathering the largest pieces of the mug and throwing them in the nearby trashcan, Gerard was leaning his head on the desk now and covering half of his face with his hand, eyes closed. His hair was covering most of his face and, for a moment, Frank wanted to reach over and push his hair away from his eyes. He looked utterly miserable.

“Gerard, what happened?” Frank asked quietly when Gerard wouldn't even move.

It took a second, but finally Gerard opened his eyes and looked at Frank, dropping his hand. Frank could swear he saw tears in there, “the mug fell,” he answered plainly, avoiding looking Frank in the eye.

They both knew Frank didn't mean the mug, but Frank bit his lip not to call Gerard on his lie. “Okay,” he whispered, attempting to stand up.

A hand stopped him, and when he looked back, he could see Gerard's firm grip on his wrist. He looked up at the other man's face that was much closer now, “thank you,” he whispered.

Frank couldn't trust his voice to reply if he wanted to, he just nodded.

…

After the whole broken mug on the floor thing, Frank couldn't get that much done, he wanted work to distract himself from going into what exactly happened in there and overanalyze everything, but he couldn't let himself, not now at least. So, nothing could describe how happy he was when he saw Gerard coming out of his office to loom over his desk.

At first, Frank thought that he was going to just tell him to move some pairings or something before going into his studio, but the next words that came out of Gerard's mouth rendered Frank speechless.

“We're going to a wedding,” Gerard said casually.

“What?” The question came out a lot dumber than Frank thought.

Gerard ran his fingers in his hair and looked away, “a friend of mine is getting married and we have to be there,”

Wait, wait. _We_? And, what wedding exactly? Frank pretty much wrote Gerard's schedule for the next three months, absolutely no wedding dates were there.

Frank wanted to ask a million questions, but didnt know from where to begin, instead Gerard just sighed, “their wedding is supposed to be in June but they're eloping and they want only close friends there. I need you with me to clear my schedule and if any emergency happens.” He explained before running his hands through his hair again.

“Be ready in fifteen minutes by the door,” Gerard finally said from the hallway and Frank only had a minute to actually get what Gerard meant by his last order.

…

Frank was holding Gerard’s appointments agenda in one hand and his phone in the other, canceling Gerard's two appointments for the day with possible buyers, and some orders on new canvases that Gerard was supposed to finish that day, when he saw Gerard makI got his way to where he stood, holding a huge canvas, maneuvering it around as he walked down the stairs. It took Frank a moment to realize he was actually wearing a tux, and another to look away and not stare at him.

“Frank, we’re late!”

Gerard shouted as he finally managed to also maneuver the huge canvas he was holding from the door and frank just rolled his eyes and followed.

“Coming!” Frank shouted back, making his way to the door.

…

“So where exactly is the wedding?”

Frank finally asked after he and Gerard have so far spent half an hour of a completely silent drive, other than the Queen songs plasting from the stereo that is. Gerard had literally just shoved the canvas he’s been holding in his car’s trunk and glared at Frank until he complied and hopped in the passenger seat. Frank thought Gerard was at least going to explain where they were going or when they were coming back, but when nothing of the sorts came up, he had to say something.

Gerard, of course, being Gerard, said nothing in answer and Frank just rolled his eyes and looked out the window. Gerard looked at him from the corner of his eye, “Not far out from the city.”

Frank didn’t say anything to that, more because he knew that Gerard wasn’t going to answer than the fact that he was satisfied with what he's said.

“If you’re worried about Diana, I told Rose we might be late so she would take of her,” Gerard said after a while.

Frank had no idea they were going to be that late, unless “how far from the city _is_ the wedding?”

Gerard took a sharp turn and Frank had to hold the handle of his door to avoid being smashed into hI'm.

“Not far, Frank.” came Gerard's reply in resentment.

Frank rolled his eyes again and determinedly looked out the window, ignoring Gerard's complete existence, although the man's presence seemed to make that a bit impossible. He couldn't believe that a few minutes before he was actually worried about him when he found him on the floor and almost in tears in his office. He looked perfectly fine now, and even more annoying than usual.

After a while, Gerard seemed to be the one forgetting Frank was even there, or he just didn't care, because Frank could hear him singing under his breath, mumbling the words to _The Show Must Go On_ , and then singing not so subtly and perfectly on key: _Another heartache, another failed romance. On and on, does anybody know what we are living for? I guess I'm learning, I must be warmer now. I'll soon be turning around the corner now. Outside the dawn is breaking. But inside in the dark I'm aching to be free._

Frank found himself unconsciously drumming to the song’s rhythm on his knee, in time to Gerard's singing, aching for his guitar. They stayed like that till the end of the drive, neither saying anything to each other, but perfectly in sync.

…

The church loomed on the horizon and Frank could tell that that was where they were going since the car slowed down significantly. They have been driving for at least forty-five minutes so far and the road had changed to a small one with fewer houses on the sides and much more trees everywhere. Since it was fall, it was quite beautiful, but driving on it for that long  had really killed the novelty.

A couple of minutes after the car slowed down, they turned to a small side lane hidden by the trees, that Frank doubted anyone would find out about without having been there before, he wondered if Gerard has. Before he asked however, the car stopped before the church Frank had seen earlier and Gerard was out of it in a blink, not even bothering to wait for Frank.

Frank rolled his eyes, he felt like that was going to be his response to everything Gerard would do that day, and opened his door right the second a white _something_ collided with Gerard. It took him a moment to realize it was a person (judging by what she was wearing, must've been the bride), hugging Gerard fiercely. Gerard held her even as the force she came at him with almost knocked him back into Frank.

“Gee! You're here!” The woman said, with a wide grin, moving away from Gerard but still with her arms around his shoulders.

Gerard nodded with the his signature not-intentionally-crooked crooked smile, “of course I'm here, Chris,” he said and squeezed her shoulders, “not even you two eloping would scare me from coming,”

The woman, or Chris apparently, smiled before stepping back and something troubling showed in her eyes, she started rubbing her hands together, “can I tell you something you won't accuse me of having cold feet for?”

Gerard nodded, “sure,”

“I'm not so sure about this eloping thing anymore,” she started going back and forth now, gesturing with her hands wildly. Frank wondered if she's forgotten he was there with them, or that they were still outside, “I mean, when Ray mentioned it, I got excited, you know, not having to deal with my mom or _his_ mom,” she started counting on her fingers, “and the catering and the guests and the crazy diets, everyone is vegetarian or vegan or whatever these days, and the venue and the flowers,” she glanced at Gerard with wide eyes, “do you have any idea how many kinds of flowers are out there?” Frank didn't know and he doubted Gerard did, luckily she didn't look like she wanted an answer, “hundreds! _Hundreds_ , Gee! I was so tired and scared and I _love_ Ray, you know I do and then he—”

Frank was glad that Gerard chose that moment to come forward to the woman who looked like she was about to have a full on panic attack right there. “C? C?” He kept saying until her breathing somewhat calmed, “it's okay, C,” he said when she looked at him, and he put his hands on her shoulders, “everything is going to be okay,”

Chris closed her eyes and let out a breath, “okay, okay,” she moved back and took another breath, “I'm okay, I'm okay. I just— I needed that,” she said and looked around, then back at Gerard and then to Frank, like she's just seen him, standing behind Gerard.

Gerard looked back and seemed too to only remember Frank there. He turned to him, pointing in the nervous bride’s way, “Frank, this is Christa,” Gerard was about to add something else, but instead Frank felt himself being pulled forward and hugged. He realized that it was Chris, _Christa_ , hugging him. He tried his best to hug her back, but ended up just patting her shoulder awkwardly.

“Thank you for being here too,” she said as she moved back, wiping at the corners of her eyes. Frank's face was most likely reflecting his shock because she said next, “oh _God_ , I'm an emotional wreck today. I swear I'm not like this,”

Frank smiled, “don't worry about it,” he waved his hand, “I can only imagine,”

Christa sniffed, “okay, we need to get back inside before they think I ran away or something,” she added as she assured both Frank and Gerard in.

…

Frank didn't know much about eloping, but he did know it didn't involve any preparations or at least guests, and so he was a little surprised when he saw that the bride’s room wasn't actually empty and that she was actually being prepared to walk down the aisle. Now, admittedly, there wasn't a hair stylist or a wedding planner assuring people around like Frank's seen at one of his cousins’ weddings when he was little, but it certainly didn't appear that unplanned either.

The credit, he later came to learn, seemed to go back the bride's best friend and bridesmaid. A tall dark haired woman named Lindsey. Apparently, she was the first person Christa called late the night before about what she and Ray, the groom, wanted to do, and she's taken care of everything so far. She's called the church and pulled some strings to get it reserved for the day and called the bride and groom’s closest friends. She apparently tried to call Gerard but couldn't get a hold of him until that morning.

Currently, Frank was standing in the corner of the bride’s room, watching everything from far. Lindsey was helping her with her hair and makeup. He felt so out of place but didn't know where else he could go. Gerard had left a few minutes ago, telling him to stay with Christa and Lindsey in case they needed anything because he was going to get something out of the car and go check on Ray.

Frank, out of utter boredom, had started looking for something to help with, and had found a camera laid on a counter by the door. Lindsey said it was hers and Frank offered to take the wedding pictures with it because she seemed too busy to do it herself. The woman welcomed it and told him to go for it, and Frank's been trying to work the thing out for the past minutes. It's been awhile since he's last used one, but he still remembered what he was taught, and it felt so good to hold one again.

“Lynz, this looks so amazing! You made me look so beautiful!” Christa exclaimed examining her hair in the mirror.

“You already look beautiful, Chris. I just added a little touch.” Lindsey said with a smile, seemingly satisfied with her work.

Frank lowered the camera for a second and looked at Christa and Lindsey staring at Christa's reflection in the mirror. The bride _did_ look amazing. Lindsey's applied only the lightest makeup and held her hair up simply then attached the veil to it. Frank was trying not to intrude on the moment, but he got an idea. He held the camera and took a photo of Lindsey and Christa looking at themselves in the mirror.

Frank could see the two women's noticed him, but they didn't say anything so he came closer took more pictures, this time having them pose properly. After he was done, Lindsey suggested he should take pictures of the church and the groom. Frank suspected she was shooing him out the room to talk to Christa, but he didn't mind. He had no idea how much he's missed this, and he loved to do something to help the eloping bride and groom remember their wedding with.

Frank's been taking pictures for a couple of minutes just outside the church, by some bushes when he noticed he wasn't alone anymore. He turned and saw Gerard standing a little far away from where he's been taking pictures of the church exterior, watching him. Frank knew he could lose himself in photography, it's been a while, but the feeling of the camera in his hands still felt as natural and absorbed him like it usually did, that made him wonder how long Gerard's been there.

He lowered the camera and waved. Gerard came closer and stood by Frank with his hand in his pocket.

“Hey,” he said softly, running his hand through his hair, all traces of the sadness and the confusion Frank's seen in his eyes from earlier that day seemed to vanish from his face.

Frank stood straighter, “hey,” he replied, noticing how much more at ease Gerard looked.

“Lynz told me you'd be here,” Gerard said, “I went back to see how things were going,”

Frank looked away from Gerard's eyes, “yeah. I think she needed some time with Christa before the ceremony. Everything okay with the groom?”

Gerard nodded, “yeah, but the priest isn't ready yet,” he said then chuckled, “apparently, Lynz had forced him to do the ceremony and he wain't ready. Ray’s panicking, but not as bad as Chris, so it's good so far,”

Frank ran his hand through his hair, “good,” he saI'd.

“You want to sit down for a while?”

Frank knew the question came out from Gerard but still had to look up to actually confirm it. He was surprised but quickly doomed it as one of Gerard Way’s famous mood swings.

“I can't,” he replied. A flash of disappointment flashed across Gerard's features that he had to add, “I promised the girls I'd take pictures of the place,”

Gerard looked up, “oh,” he said like he's just noticed the camera Frank's been holding, his eyes lit up, “you like photography?”

Frank smiled, “yeah, my dad taught me when I was young, but it's been a while,”

Gerard was about to say something else but was interrupted by someone calling his name, he turned around and Frank could see a blond huge guy running towards them. He got to where Frank and Gerard hav  been standing and stood there, catching his breath.

“Man, where you've been? I've been looking all over for you,” the guy said inhaling deeply, looking at Gerard, “the priest is ready and Lindsey is looking _everywhere_ for you. You know how she gets, she almost sent Ray looking for you, man.”

Gerard looked at his watch, “I didn't pay attention to the time,” he seemed really frightened for a second that Frank wanted to laugh, but barely held it together, “I'm right behind you,”

Bob shook his head and turned around, “hurry up,” he said before jogging back.

Frank was grinning as Gerard checked his watch again then looked up, “oh, don't look so smug, _Iero_ ,” he was smiling saying that.

Frank smirked, “hey, you're the one who's got Lindsey on a warpath,”

Gerard nodded like he wasn't even going to argue, and turned to walk away, but before he did, he said, “you owe me the story of you learning photography.”

Frank was about to argue that he promised no such thing, but Gerard was already jogging behind the blonde huge guy, “you better move your ass in the church or Lindsey’s going to be on a warpath for you,” he added that before finally making it to the church’s back entrance.

…

The ceremony was perhaps the most beautiful things Frank's seen in his entire life. He got in and sat in the front with the blond guy from earlier (he's introduced himself as Bob and apologized for not doing so before, saying Lindsey would've killed him if he didn't find Gerard).

At first he was confused at finding Frank alone there, but once the ceremony started and Ray and the priest took their places, Lindsey walked first, then Christa and Gerard, Frank realized why Lindsey's been so frighteningly looking for him. He gave her to Ray then stood back by hI'm.

It was fast after that, the couple exchanged vows and kissed and Frank fought tears at how beautiful and sincere they looked. Before he could know it, everyone was moving to the church’s garden and started to celebrate the newly weds in style. When they got there however, there were stacks of pizza and few bottles of champagne in the garden under a shed that Frank hadn't seen when he was there a few minutes before. At first, he thought Lindsey was the one who took care of that too, but when she also started to laugh at the choice of food and drinks with everyone, Frank could see that Gerard was the only smiling with not much surprise in his face and he knew.

Before Frank could ask him, Christa let go of Ray’s arm and hugged Gerard still laughing so hard. “I can't believe you remembered!”

Gerard was fully on laughing now and Frank couldn't help but stare at how it was the first time he's seen him laugh like that. HE nodded to Christa, “of course, I did,” he said.

Ray turned to Gerard too and hugged him, “thanks, man,” he patted his back, and Gerard nodded to him too.

…

Frank's been gradually drinking a Champagne bottle he managed to snatch from the shed for the past half hour, sitting on the church’s steps watching everyone dancing from far. He didn't know why he suddenly didn't feel like celebrating. It had nothing to do with the company, Gerard's friends were actually awesome from what he's seen from them so far, but more due to the fact that he didn't know how to deal with what seeing Gerard like this was bringing in him.

He knew it was stupid, but he couldn't help it. He couldn't dismiss Gerard as the asshole he's labeled him as since day one anymore and it bothered him so much because it didn't make him any less admirable in Frank's eyes, and that meant that he couldn't pretend his attraction to the other man was just a passing crush.

Hence all of that thinking brought us to this point were Frank was trying to drown his thoughts, as it was universally agreed on, with alcohol.

“Hey,”

Frank looked up fully knowing who that greeting belonged to. He nodded in reply.

“You know it's rude to drink alone when there's an entire party right by,” Gerard said and sat down beside Frank, uninvited, “pizza?” He offered a piece he was holding to Frank.

Frank drank from his glass and took the piece from Gerard's hand, then looked at it for a second. He could hear Gerard giggling besides him, _giggling_ , and he looked up at him with confusion. He hadn't realized the other man sat too close.

“ _What_?” Frank asked, narrowing his eyes.

Gerard shook his head, “you're confused,” he answered, traces from his giggle on his lips.

Frank took a bite just to have a reason to look away, “well, pizza not a universally known wedding food, so forgive me for being confused,”

Gerard looked at his feet, still smiling, “I know,” he said quietly then looked up at Frank a moment later, “Christa, Ray, and I went to boarding school together. They've been dating forever, like, since ninth grade or something, and well,” Gerard scratched his neck with his hand like he was at loss of how to explain, “her parents and Ray’s parents were a little strict and rich, they loved that their kids were dating and would eventually marry and stuff, you know,” Gerard stopped like he was asking Frank to confirm that he, in fact, knew, and even though he didn't, he still nodded, “and Christa’s always complained that she was dreading the extravagant wedding they've been planning,” Gerard smiled then, “she used to say that she would be happy if they marry at the end of the world with only pizza and Champagne as their wedding food,”

Frank didn't know what to say to that, he just looked at Gerard's eyes in the dim light of the sunset and as he couldn't stop, he could see fondness in them, but underneath all of that, he could also see ill concealed saddens as well. For some reason, he could see it, Ray and Christa as teenagers, crazy in love, Gerard their artsy friend who most of the time felt like a third wheel but wasn't really because they loved him so much. Gerard growing up to be this famous artist who still loved his friends enough to remember their silly teen wishes.

“My dad liked photography,” Frank found himself saying looking at his feet. He was aware of Gerard's eyes on him now, but he didn't look back. He didn't know if it was because he wanted to change the subject, he just remembered Gerard wanting to know how he learned photography, or simply just the alcohol working on his brain, “he was a drummer, but he loved photography too. He taught me when I wanted to impress this dude I had a crush on in school. He bought me a camera and everything,” He was smiling but fell silent for a minute deciding if he wanted to say more. He hadn't talked about this with anyone since his parents' death, “after he and mom passed away, Diana and I had to go live with some relatives and they didn't have that much money to spend on us, so they sold… _things_ ,” Frank remembered his dad’s drums and his mom’s car being sold for half of what they were worth because their aunt spent all her money on booze already, “I managed to keep my guitar but the camera was gone,”

They both were quiet for a long time afterwards, Frank knew he shouldn't have said too much, but he felt lighter now somehow. He couldn't bring himself to regret what he's just told Gerard, and Gerard didn't even need to say anything. Frank held the Champagne bottle and fixed it on the ground between his feet, busying his hands with something.

“So you and Diana used to live with them before—”

“No,” Frank interrupted, “when I graduated high school, I got us out of there before graduation day.” Frank said proudly, “I found a job and a place and we left,” it wasn't as easy as that, but he couldn't leave Diana with that woman a day longer. They had to live with a few friends over the course of the first few weeks as Frank managed to look for a place and work to save money. Then they had to live in an even crappier studio than the one they were living, in a neighborhood that Frank had to put three locks on the door to feel safe enough to sleep at night, but Frank didn't want Gerard to feel sorry for him. He was proud of what he's done for himself and his baby sister.

There was little light now as the sun finally sat, but Frank could make up Gerard's profile besides him as he nodded. “You were a kid,” he said very quietly that Frank could've messed it if he wasn't listening hard enough.

“At some point, we all have to grow up, don't we?” Frank said.

Gerard looked at Frank and his face caught the light, so Frank could see the sad smile as he sais, “yeah, I suppose we do.”

 

…

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please, don't forget to comment! It's so easy, see, you just hit the comment button and write a few words ;). Oh and the wedding isn't over yet, our favorite girl Lindsey still has something to say ;)


	7. Chapter 7

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for the bad writing at the first few scenes, I don't know why it turned out like that. Please, tell me what you think. I'm unsure about the plot and would really like someone's opinion.

“So how's working for Gerard is like?”

Frank could hear the question before he could see Lindsey come to sit beside him, sitting right where Gerard's been sitting, if not a little further away. He looked at her and she smiled to him, bringing her glass to her lips and taking a long sip.

Frank's been sitting alone now for a few minutes. After he and Gerard stopped talking and just sat there in silence for a few more minutes, Ray's come and told Gerard he wanted to talk to him and the two had left after saying they'd be back shortly. 

“Ummm,” Frank said as he looked the wedding party still dancing from far, safe for Ray and Gerard who had disappeared somewhere. Lindsey was cool, but could he really insult her friend, or was it safer lie? Because right now he could think of only a single word that described working for Gerard and he didn't know if he should say it.

“That fucking bad?” Lindsey said with a laugh. Frank looked at her, “what?” She asked, “Gee’s an asshole when it comes to work. He takes it all a little too seriously, we all know it.” She rolled her eyes, “fuck, _Gee_ knows it. How long have you been his PA, anyway?”

“As of today, 20 days,” Frank said with another sip of his glass. It felt longer, much longer.

Lindsey nodded looking impressed, “since the last one lasted sis days, I give you credit.” She sounded really impressed.

Frank smiled, “Gerard can be difficult at times, I think. But he can be pleasant… Sometimes at least,” _pleasant_? Where did that come from? Frank wanted to take it back but didn't. He knew he had a decent alcohol tolerance, but right now, he was pretty sure the drunk part of his brain was taking charge of his mouth. This was _not_ a good thing.

“Well, if it's the same Gerard Way we're talking about here, I'm sure he changed then,” Lindsey said.

Some time passed as they both finished their glasses. Something was telling Frank it was better if he stayed at least partly sober, but his brain wouldn't buy it. He didn't want to think and drinking to stop thoughts he didn't want has been a luxury he didn't have for a long time now, besides, he had a sober drive. At least, he hoped he did. He looked around, looking for said drive, but couldn't see him anywhere. Where had he and Ray went?

“Don't worry yourself,” Frank could hear Lindsey say from beside him. He flinched, was he that obvious? “I'm pretty sure Ray is not done with Gee yet. It's his wedding and he intends on fully using that,” she said that with an air of previous knowledge and boredom, like she knew exactly why Ray and Gerard had disappeared to talk and knew how it was going, and that it had happened multiple times before.

Or Frank was just drunk and overanalyzing things.

“You know, Frank,” Lindsey went on, “I think you two are good,” Frank was pretty sure he had no idea what she was talking about anymore, “I think you're good for him. God knows he needs someone like you right now,”

Frank wasn't sure what that meant, did she mean professionally? He wasn't sure he was going to ask, but before he could say another word, Lindsey had pushed herself up and smiled again, but not at him this time.

“He's all yours, Gee,”

Frank looked up and was immediately met with Gerard’s smile for Lindsey, who left after she patted him on the back. Frank couldn't help but stare. He was too drunk to stop himself. Gerard’s whole demeanor seemed relaxed and easy. He had lost his jacket and had a couple of the top buttons of his shirt undone.

Gerard stood before before him, tall and gorgeous, long brown hair moving in the breeze. Frank wished he was drunker.

In a stupid move to try and stop his fluttering heart, Frank tried to stand, and suddenly his whole world swirled and he almost lost his balance, but there were hands on his arms now, steadying him. He didn't look at Gerard's face as his breath brushed over his neck, he just jumped back.

“Hey, hey,” Gerard was saying softly, his hands not touching Frank anymore but still hovering protectively around him, like he was ready to catch him the minute he decided to fall, “okay there, Frankie?” Frank could hear Diana's nickname for him but chose not to comment on it, he didn't have the mental capacity to think it over. Gerard tone wasn't scolding though, there was humor in it.

“I'm not drunk,” Frank said and was proud he stood on his own and didn't actually slur.

“Sure,” Gerard said, lowering his hands but not moving back, “although I would argue that that's what drinking a whole Champaign bottle would do to you,”

Frank narrowed his eyes and picked the bottle up swinging it in front of Gerard face. The remains of the Champagne splashed around, “not a whole bottle,” he said.

Gerard smiled that crooked smile that almost stopped Frank's heart, “fine, That's what _almost_ drinking a whole Champaign bottle would do to you,”

Frank rolled his eyes, “it's a wedding,” he said, like that explained why he was drowning himself in alcohol, “why aren't _you_ drinking?” Frank asked suddenly. For some reason, he only now noticed he hadn't seen Gerard drinking any of the Champaign.

Gerard's eyes widened slightly and his easy smile tensed for a moment, “I used to be an alcoholic,” he said easily… _too_ easily, but didn't add much else, so Frank didn't comment. He tried to look anywhere but at the man standing way too close to him right now. He ended up looking back at the dancing party that was still going. Although, now, it was a slow song playing and he could see Ray and Christa slow dancing in each other's arms. They looked like they were in their own world.

Gerard must’ve turned to look at what was holding Frank's attention at some point. “They were always cheesy romantic, even in school,” he said, like he thought that was the reason Frank was staring, “Prom, Valentine's day, you name it,” he counted.

“I think it's great that they are,” Frank challenged. He had no idea why he even said that. He had never liked cheesy romance. At high school, he didn't do much dating; his parents had just died and he was moping to Jamia half the time, and worried about his little sister the other half. Later, he couldn't date, not really, not while having to be there for Diana most of the time. There were mostly hookups when Jamia would have time to babysit, even then, he mostly never saw those guys again. So why was he now declaring himself as the romantic?

Gerard chuckled in the breeze that was strangely warm for September, “i didn't say it wasn't great, Iero,”

“Funny, never begged you for the romantic, _Way_ ,” Frank countered and meant to turn around, leaving Gerard alone. He was pissed off for some reason, not necessarily at Gerard, mostly at himself. Half way through that though, he could feel a hand on his wrist and, too drunk to resist, he was pulled easily back. Before he knew it, his face was millimeters away from Gerard’s.

Gerard was so close to him right then, Frank could feel the heat radiating off his body to his. He had a smug smile on his lips but Frank couldn't do anything as one of Gerard's arms circled his waist and the other went to his face to brush the long strands that fell from the movement off his eyes.

Frank wasn't breathing, he wasn't moving, he wasn't doing anything. He wished he wasn't drunk right then, maybe then he could've controlled the way his body was responding to Gerard's hands on it.

 _Maybe_.

Gerard came closer still, then when his lips were almost touching Frank's, he said, “oh, I _can_ be romantic, Iero,”

Frank wanted to laugh, he knew he _should_ laugh. But he couldn't, not with Gerard's lips _right_ there, breath brushing over his as he spoke. Frank was pretty sure he was going to do the most stupid thing he thought of doing in his entire life, but before he could, someone was there. Someone was calling.

Frank didn't know what was being said, he was just aware of how reluctantly Gerard moved back, eyes still on Frank, unreadable. He slowly let the eye contact between them drop and stared at the person who was now standing by them. Frank was vaguely aware it was Ray, but he couldn't really concentrate, his whole body was still wrapped up in the feeling Gerard’s body over his had produced and he couldn't think of anything else.

That was, at least, until he could hear Gerard's sharp intake of air, “ _what_?” He was saying once Frank managed to gather some mental ability to understand the words said around him, “what do you mean? How… _How_ did that happen?” Gerard was frantically saying now, “what about Mikey? Is he okay?”

Ray nodded, “Mikey's fine. Kristin said she was calling behind his back, but said he was okay, just some bruises,” Ray answered and Frank could visibly see Gerard relax, “the baby is still in the OR though. Mikey and Alicia are with him, but,” Ray paused for a second, his tone changed, “Gerard, she says the doctors are not sure the baby's going to make it. She's worried Mikey might need someone with him if something happens,”

Gerard looked down and shook his head, "Ray, I can't. You know I can't," he was saying pleadingly. He took a breath and closed his eyes, "I need to know if Mikey is okay. I need to—" he started again like he was about to go into a panic attack, but thankfully, he was cut off by Ray.

“We will, Gee, okay?" Ray said as held Gerard's shoulder, trying to make him look him in the eye. When Gerard finally did, Ray added, "we'll figure something out,” his tone was assuring and Gerard nodded.

….

Gerard was running his hands through his hair, a little too roughly, as he passed back and forth in front of Ray and Frank. He seemed like he was barely holding it together, the air of calmness that usually surrounded him completely gone.

Frank was completely confused. He felt like he was just thrown in the middle of the plot of a movie he missed its beginning. Problem was he couldn't even ask what was going on, everyone was so tense that he couldn't attempt to worsen the situation any more. They were now in the church’s hall. Ray had guided them back inside, and the kind priest there offered them coffee on e they entered. Ray had to physically pull Gerard in, he was frozen, standing there by the door like he wasn't sure what he was doing anymore. 

They were waiting for Lindsey now, she had left immediately after Ray's told her what happened in whispers. She nodded and left like she exactly knew what to do. She had taken her phone with her, so Frank knew she must've been calling someone, probably that Mikey dude Ray's been talking about.

After ta few cups of coffee, Frank was somewhat leasy drunk that he was aware of what was going on, he figured that that Mikey guy, whoever he was, had been in some sort of accident with his baby.

Frank was still gazing at Gerard, feeling helpless, when he saw Lindsay making her way in. Gerard was by her in a second.

“I've just finished taking to Alicia,” she said calmly, “the baby's still in the OR but he's doing well. Mikey is shaken but okay,” she added that looking at Gerard pointedly, “he's okay, Gee.”

Gerard took a breath and nodded, he seemed like he was about to collapse right there, his hand on Lindsey's shoulder, hers covering it. Frank felt his heart break, if he only knew how to help. For a moment, it felt like all of the sadness he's always seen in Gerard's eyes was finally out, like he couldn't contain it any longer.

"Frank?" Someone whispered and Frank turned to see Ray standing beside him, beckoning him to follow, lost at what to do, he did, trying not to look at how Gerard seemed so small and broken while Lindsey hugged him.

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please leave a comment telling me what you think.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I want to admit that I'm the worst person you could ask about guitars; I literally know nothing about them, that being said, please, forgive any wrong or inaccurate information I might mention about them. I wrote the scene after a two minute google search that I know wasn't enough.

"This is probably very confusing to you right now,"

They were outside now, after Frank knew Ray was sure they were far enough, he made them set down on a bench just outside and started waving his hands all over the place.

Frank didn't say anything, but his expression must've been saying _no shit?_ Because Ray just nodded and looked like he was thinking hard of what to say next, "look, man, I was going to ask you if you could drive Gee back home, but I think you deserve some explanation at least," Ray said at last.

Frank still hadn't said anything and Ray just sighed, "I know how this sounds, but I don't think it's my place to say anything right now. Mikey and Gerard are both my friends and, well, I'm not saying you're not, I'm just saying we only met today so,"

Frank nodded. He could respect that at least. He found his tongue at last, "I can't drive him home, I think I'm still drunk,"

Ray's mouth opened slightly at Frank's way of changing the subject but nodded. Frank had the vague idea that Ray didn't really and much of a plan out of dragging him here. It felt like, he just wanted someone to talk with.

"I don't think Gee's ready yet to go home. I'm not sure he should be left alone anyway." He was saying that more to himself, "Lindsey has to fly home tonight. I know she'll offer to stay, but she has a kid back home and I know she can't. Christa and I can stay," Ray finally said as conclusion, nodding to himself to confirm, "we can change the flights to tomorrow morning and stay the night," he added.

"I can stay with him," Frank said causing Ray to look up at him with surprise on his face. He didn't know where that came from; he could pretend that he did it because the idea that Christa had Ray had to switch their honeymoon flight and Lindsey to leave her kid alone was a little too ridiculous. He still didn't know the full story, but it wasn't like someone has died. "Give me a couple of hours and I'll sober up enough to drive us back." he said that with a tone showing he would put up with any discussion.

...

Gerard felt like he was drunk.

He knew he wasn't. Firstly he wouldn't allow himself even after all those years, and secondly, when alcohol used to get him to this point, he usually would be a lot more calmer, it'd delude his thoughts. The only thing what he was feeling was reminding him of the various states of intoxication he's ever experienced was the confusion.

He could still feel his over thinking brain going over what his friends were trying to tell him, but he still couldn't grasp it. It was like a drunken haze took over him and the only thing he was aware of was that his brother was hurt. The only person he's got left to call family was hurt, and he couldn't do anything about it. Other that that, nothing made sense.

"Gerard?"

Someone was calling. Gerard knew it was Lindsey. He looked up at her from where he's been sitting and she smiled to him like he would see her sometimes smile at her son when he would fall and hurt himself. But Gerard wasn't hurt. Mikey was hurt. He needed to see him. Be with him.

He couldn't.

"Gee, honey," Lindsey was saying now as she fell to his level, her hand was on his knee, "everything is going to be alright, okay? Mikey is okay, sweetie."

Gerard nodded but the words still wouldn't make it through. But the baby was hurt and if the baby was hurt so was Mikey. If Gerard knew anything about seeing your own kid hurt, it was this, it hurt more than any physical pain could.

Someone called Lindsey and she gave his shoulder a last pat before moving away to talk to Ray in the corner. Gerard tried to keep looking at them and concentrate on that, he'd go mad if he didn't.

 _Frank_.

Gerard could see him too, standing by Lindsey and Ray, nodding to what Ray was telling Lindsey. For a moment, Gerard couldn't concentrate on anything else, his mind zoomed on Frank's face and he couldn't look away.

...

 

"Gerard?"

Gerard was standing outside now. He had left a few minutes earlier because he couldn't stand being in the that room any longer and there was nothing new that anyone could tell him. Lindsey's just been with Alicia again on the phone, the baby was still in the OR, but passed the worst of it. He knew that meant that everyone expected him to feel better, but he couldn't, so he left here.

"Gerard? The voice called again and Gerard was a little surprised he could instantly place the voice holder, he still didn't turn back.

That was until the wandering steps still calling his name finally stopped somewhere behind him. He heard a sigh before they came closer.

"There you are!" Frank was saying now, "I've been looking all over for you," he said much quieter as he came closer. Gerard couldn't hear the usual barely hidden annoyance Frank's voice usually held when Gerard would do something irrational; like ignoring him when he calls.

"Uhh," Frank said, standing a little to his right. Gerard could see he was scratching his neck with his hand now, eyes cast somewhere down by Gerard's feet.

"The guys have to leave," Gerard took a second to realize Frank was talking about his friends, "Lindsey wanted to stay but Ray told me about her son, so we had to convince her by force," Frank let a small chuckle at that. Gerard still hadn't looked at him, although he could feel Frank's gaze on him now, "Ray and Christa wanted to stay too but, I mean, it's their honeymoon, so—"

Frank cut off his babbling when Gerard turned to look at him with the expression of boredom he knew he had mastered over the past few years. It's always been his protective mechanism and he couldn't really think of anything else to react with. The alternative was to break down completely which wasn't an option.

It seemed to work though, because Frank lost his smile and looked down. Gerard's stomach knotted and fell. He didn't—

"Okay," Gerard said in attempt to make Frank look at him again. He wanted Frank to look at him and know he was not fine; that it wasn't okay. But Frank didn't say anything just looked up again, his expression unreadable.

"I'll be right behind you,"

Gerard was surprised of how calm his voice sounded when he knew everything inside him was screaming. He wanted to cry and scream and tear things apart, tell  Frank how life was unfair. How it took people you care about from you in a pat of an eye and you just had to set there and watch. How much that hurt. How much _he_ hurt. But he didn't say anything and Frank just looked at him with wide eyes before nodding and opening his mouth like was about to say something. Eventually, nothing came out and Frank just nodded again and moved slowly back inside. Gerard wasn't looking at him now, he couldn't meet his eyes even if he wanted to. Surprisingly, he found himself looking down at the sneakers on Frank's feet that he apparently had thought were appropriate for a wedding for some reason. They were worn out and for a moment Gerard wondered how they held together and didn't just fall apart from his feet, but somehow it felt like they were worn out in a good way, you know, the way you know they got worn out living.

"You— you don't have to do it but—" Frank was already behind Gerard when he heard him say that. Gerard thought he was already back in, "and I know I'm not— well— like not a friend, but, if you want to talk or whatever, I'm here, okay? I'll listen if you want me to."

Frank's voice was so low saying that Gerard wondered if he had imagined him saying it. He was glad Frank was already talking to his back, because honest to whatever God is out there, he wouldn't have been able control his expression at that moment no matter how much he had practice at it.

What was that boy doing to him?

....

It was getting closer to eleven am when Frank finally made it to the store.

The place was cosy and warmer than the outside September weather that Frank had to take off his jacket once he was in. He walked between a few shelves stacked with art supplies until he could find the counter. Behind it was a cool looking punk rock chick with a nose ring typing something on an ancient looking computer. She was murmuring something as she hit the side of the screen angrily, when Frank was close enough, he could hear something along the lines of "work you fucking piece of shit," 

Frank got closer to the counter and cleared his throat for the girl to acknowledge him. It worked and she turned, her eyes widening when she saw him. She sniffed like she was getting a really bad cold and Frank only just now noticed her red rimmed eyes.

"How can I help you?" The girl said with an automatic voice.

"Oh, hey. I was thinking if you could help me with finding these?" Frank pushed the piece of paper Gerard had given him that morning on the counter in front of the girl, who picked it up immediately.

When Frank had made it to his desk that morning, Gerard had just been sitting there in the chair Frank put by his desk for when Diana decided to sit and watch him work or do her homework there. He had been so surprised that he just stood there and watched Gerard playing around with a _My Little Pony_ figurine Diana must've forgot on his desk.

When Frank finally managed to get himself to move, Gerard must've noticed him and he looked at him for a moment before he gave him the shopping list and told him to get it from an art supplies store he wrote the address for on the back of the list.

"You're Gee's new assistant then, ha?"

Frank's thoughts were cut off by that question the girl behind the counter asked. She was smiling now, maybe not a very wide smile, but a real one nonetheless. Frank wondered if Gerard was so much of a regular consumer there that the girl who ran the store called him by a nickname. How did she even know Frank was Gerard's new PA, anyway?

"I am," Frank answered instead.

"Nice to meet you," the girl said back as she made her way from behind the counter, "I'm Alicia," she introduced herself and shook his hand.

"Ah, Frank,"

The girl, Alicia, nodded then looked at the list in her hand again, "Gee always asks for the same things every time," she smirked, "you know, some companies he buys their stuff had upgraded their products to much better ones, but he still buys the same ones, that's how I knew you were his new assistant," Alicia was saying now as she made her way to the back of the store, Frank wondered if he should follow her but eventually did when she kept talking to him. They made it to a small closet in the corner.

"I think I left them here," she was saying now as she knelt by the lower shelves and started going into stuff stacked there, "you have a car?" She asked from where her head was stuck deep between the boxes.

Frank nodded before he realized she couldn't see him, "yeah, I have one," Gerard had told him to take one saying he wouldn't be able to carry the stuff he was buying on his own.

"Good," Alicia said getting her head out of the closet and sitting back with a huge carton box she dug out of there somewhere, "Gee usually comes himself, but, I guess, this time he couldn't, ha?" She said with a knowing smile, still looking down at the box besides her. She sighed and looked up at Frank, he gave a her hand to stand up.

"Thanks," she said and dusted herself up, "everything he wants is in there, I packed it up a few days ago," she pointed at the box and placed her hands on her hips.

Frank was about to think of a way to carry the heavy looking box alone to the car when he looked about the room and was about to stop breathing all together when he noticed what was in the corner.

Alicia must've followed Frank's gaze because she too turned and smirked when she realized what he was staring at.

"Is that a...?" Frank's stuttered making his way to the beauty in the corner. 

Alicia nodded and said proudly, "a 1966 Fender Mustang,"

Frank hovered by the magnificent guitar like he was too afraid to touch, "a _blue_ 1966 Fender Mustang. That's even more rare!" Frank corrected, "I thought they had stopped making these in the eighties! How did you get your hands on one?!" Frank momentarily turned his head in Alicia's direction whose smirk just winded to a full on grin.

"My dad's," she shrugged, "he bought it second hand,"

"Wow," Frank was saying examining the guitar's neck closely, "I mean just—wow,"

Alicia chuckled, "I would've laughed if that hasn't been my exact reaction when I first saw her," she came closer and held the guitar gently, "she's a beauty, isn't she?"

Frank nodded and could swore his heart stopped when Alicia extended the guitar to him, "want to try her?"

Frank nodded and held the machine even more carefully than Alicia did. He realized he hadn't held anything even one thousand dollars cheaper in his life, "I don't think I've held anything as expensive," he laughed, "I don't think I've even held anything one thousand dollars less expensive,"

Alicia smiled, "well, everyone should try an expensive guitar at least once in their life," she put her hands on her hips watching as Frank wore the guitar strap and held the instrument securely, "of course I think that every citizen should be given an electric guitar on her 16th birthday too, so,"

Frank almost messed the reference but he watched that movie way many times not to, "Corinne Burns has never said anything more right,"

Alicia nodded, "that's true,"

Frank smiled a small smile to the beauty in his arms before he started playing. He played _Nervous Breakdown_ which he had memorized by heart. He had learnt it in high school and still was his favorite to play until now, granted he had never thought he might get to play it on such amazing guitar but he got to say, the thing sounded great. 

Frank had had his eyes closed when the finale tune came out of the amp in the corner, he only opened them when he heard Alicia's enthusiastic clapping.

"That was amazing!" She said when Frank smiled at her.

"Thanks," he replied and gave the guitar reluctantly back, "it's a beautiful instrument,"

Alicia was smiling as she picked the said instrument from Frank and held it like she was carrying a baby, she placed back in its place.

Alicia stood looking at the guitar for a second, her arms crossed over her chest. "Yeah it is," she agreed and was silent for a moment before adding, "my dad has always loved art in all its forms, he wasn't a great musician but had always had an eye for these things. This store was his you know, he used to pick everything by hand, try it then decide if he wanted to sell it in his store. I think that's why he had loyal customers all his life, like Gee. Well, he's the last one left, I guess." She said all of that very nostalgically, adding a small sad laugh at the end. She eventually turned at Frank who just stood staring at her. "Well, to place the credit where credit is due, it was Anna who originally introduced us, so,"

"Anna?" Frank couldn't help but repeat when Alicia fell silent.

Alicia looked at Frank now instead of the guitar and seemed to have realized what she said, "she was a mutual friend," she clarified shortly.

Frank felt like he was finding another piece of Gerard's life, another piece of the puzzle that was a puzzle all on its own. Alicia seemed like she was talking too fondly of this Anna person to be just a 'mutual friend'. He wanted to ask why Alicia referred to her in the past tense, but he found the sense of not being too nosy.

Alicia eventually slightly shook her head like she was clearing it, "I brought her here to get her prepared so I can take her on tour with me," she added with a small smile, "I'm leaving next week. Maybe when I'm back I can show you the rest of dad's collection if you liked," her voice was cheerful, but for some reason Frank felt like it was too cheerful on purpose.

Frank smiled, "I'd love that,"

At least, apart from the slight mysteriousness he's just witnessed, it felt like he just made a new friend.

...

Gerard was slightly panicking at the moment.

The school he was standing in its reception hall felt too big and too scary for him to feel comfortable being in. To distract himself, he tried to think of how long it's been since he even was at a school, but he couldn't remember. It must've been back when he graduated from high school, which proved to be a horrible way to distract himself, because apart from him hating the concept of school anyway, he hadn't been that popular with other students. It was true his friends had been there, but his bullies still made school hell for him on daily basis.

Gerard tried to take a breath as the nice woman at the reception he spoke to earlier came back and smiled to him.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Way," she said all apologetic, "I can't give you a permit to see Miss Iero. You're not a close relative and the school policy does not allow me to do it."

Gerard sighed. He had received a call just when Frank left the house from Diana's school telling him that Frank hadn't been answering his phone and the house phone they've got was his. He supposed Frank changed because they were living there now. He wanted to wait for Frank to come home, but the school said that there was an emergency that needed immediate parental contact and so Gerard just took the school address and left immediately, bringing him to the current situation.

"It's okay." He answered, "is there any way that I can know if she's alright?"

The old lady pursed her lips, "may I know your official relation to Miss Iero?"

Gerard hesitated, "I'm, ah, her brother's... friend," he finally supplied instead of boss.

"I'm sorry, Mr. Way," the lady shook her head, "until Mr. Iero or a first degree relative is here for Diana, I'll have to apologize to you for not being able to tell you anything further,"

Gerard felt his heart clench. He needed to find Frank.

...

Frank finally left the store after placing the heavy box in the car's trunk. He had no idea why Gerard didn't simply contact the original companies to get supplies from like he did with his canvases, he certainly had the money for it. He wondered why Gerard even sent him to Alicia's store, he could've sent his driver, if he was too busy to go himself. Don't get him wrong, he wasn't complaining and it wasn't like he didn't feel like leaving the house, because he did. As lame as that might sound, it felt good to leave the house do some kind of errand, even if it was for Gerard.

That house felt so lonely at times that Frank wondered how Gerard could even stand it. He certainly couldn't, it felt suffocating. If it wasn't for his job and Diana and the occasional emails he'd get from Jamia, who was touring as a guitar tech with some band right now, he knew he wouldn't have been able to stand it. The blurry passage of time and the complete cut of the outside world would feel too much at times.

In all truth, that whole week has been kind of a blur, Gerard seemed to withdraw on himself more, if that was even possible, and drown himself in work even more than before. If he hadn't had a decent conversation with Frank before, now he completely ignored his existence, only addressing him when something work related happened.

Frank had to admit he had felt disappointed at first, but who was he kidding? He should've known Gerard's mood swings wouldn't change just because of an alcohol fueled.. whatever it was that happened at that wedding. Admittedly, Gerard hadn't been drinking, but Frank had, and how could he really know if his alcohol fogged brain hadn't came up with all of whatever he thought he saw in Gerard's eyes anyway? Something in the back of his brain told him he couldn't have possibly imagined that, but—

Frank had no idea what his brain was about to come up with to counter that last thought with when panic rose in his throat as he checked his phone that was thrown carelessly on the passenger seat and found he had two missed calls from Diana's school and four from Gerard. He even had to stop the car by the side of the road to be able to call first the school and then Gerard back. He swerved the car sharply to turn back in the way of Diana's school once he understood what happened and told the school principal to let Gerard see Diana first.

...

"Gee?" Diana's small tired voice startled Gerard from his thoughts, "Can you pass me the water, please?"

Gerard has been sitting beside Diana's bed for the last few minutes before she asked him that in a small voice. He had finally been authorized to see the little girl when Frank answered his phone about half an hour ago and told the school to let Gerard take her to a hospital.

Diana hadn't said a word to him since he got her to the ER to be seen by a proper doctor instead of the school nurse. She asked him for Frank and hadn't said anything since he told her Frank was on his way.

When Gerard tried to give Diana the water he just brought from the machine earlier, he found it empty and whispered to her he'd be right back after bringing more, that was when he saw Frank going into the ER with clear panic on his face. He was asking some nurse when Gerard made his way to him. Frank's eyes lit like he just saw a savior.

"Frank, it's okay. Diana's okay," Gerard said once he was in hearing distance of Frank. He could see him visibly let go of a breath upon his words.

"Where is she?" He finally asked while Gerard was guiding him towards the room she was in.

"They've just put her arm in a cast, other than that, she's perfect. She's just a little disoriented from the painkillers that's all and the doctor wanted her to stay for a while for observation." Gerard knew the school must've told Frank what happened but he knew that whatever the school principal has said after the sentence Diana is hurt must've fallen on deaf ears. He placed his hand over Frank's upper arm  gently as they stood before Diana's room door.

"Frank, she's okay, alright? She only fell while hanging from the bars in the school yard," he repeated slowly to make sure Frank was hearing him.

Frank was nodding frantically, "I should've been here. I should've picked up my phone. I should've paid attention. I should've known, Gerard. I—" Frank was saying in what felt like pure hysteria while looking everywhere around them, hands gesturing wildly all over the place, "she has no one but me now and I— I just—"

"Hey, hey," Gerard said to stop him, "hey, look at me," he said firmly and Frank finally looked up, his eyes glassy from unshed tears, "there's no way you could have known. Things happen, okay? People get hurt. It wasn't your fault." He said, "and Diana's okay. She's fine. Just a broken arm, all kids get those."

Frank took a breath and nodded, closing his eyes.

Gerard nodded as well and only realized how close he was to Frank when he felt the breath Frank exhaled on his face. He could see the shadows of Frank's wet perfect lashes on his cheeks and he almost allowed himself to touch his face weren't for Frank finally opening his eyes. Gerard moved back and smiled to Frank slightly, before moving aside to allow him to get into the room.

Gerard didn't follow. He stood there staring at the closed door. It wasn't his place and he needed a minute to sort out his thoughts, to let the images all of what happened since he made it to Diana's school settle down a bit.

He closed his eyes shaking his head and deciding he needed some coffee. He walked to the machine he bought water from earlier, beside it was a huge coffee machine that feral chose a black one from. He took the cup and moved to stand by the closest window to Diana's room looking out at the cloudy sky. His thoughts still felt jumbled as he sipped on the black bitter coffee, wishing the bitterness could chase away the thoughts of Mikey panicking over his kid the same way Frank was panicking over his sister.

It's been almost a week now since the wedding and the accident. Gerard kept with news from far about everything. He knew baby Lizzy was alright, out of surgery and back with Alicia and her mom. Mikey was alright too, back to work. But Gerard still felt the uneasiness every time he thought of his little brother.

Gerard knew Frank was just panicking saying he should've known that his sister's been hurt, should've been there for her, but he was right, at least about that last part, that was what big brothers did. They stayed with you and came for you when you're hurt. They stayed until you were better, even if it was as simple as a broken arm in a school playground.

"Gerard?"

Gerard turned and saw Frank making his way to him.

"Hey," Gerard tried to smile as he said that.

Frank nodded, strands of black hair falling into his face. For some reason, Gerard thought how Frank's hair was a bit shorter when he came to work for him a few weeks ago, and how Gerard really liked it better longer. It suited him better than short hair.

"D is asking for you," Frank said, voice little rough, like he had been crying.

"Me?" Gerard's his mouth fell, he thought Diana would forget all about him once her brother was there.

Frank nodded like he's too tired to say anything else, he sniffed and came closer to lean on the window beside Gerard. Now that he was closer, Gerard could see his eyes were red rimmed, he felt his heart melt.

"Is she alright?" He said trying to ignore how wrecked Frank looked

Frank nodded, "she's fine," he rubbed his forehead with his hand, "just a little sleepy, I think."

Gerard came closer but hesitated, "Frank—"

"I'm okay, just—" he sighed and closed his eyes again, "I am. I just... Memories and shit, man, you know? When her school called I just thought of mom and dad and—" he shook his head, "it doesn't matter. She's okay," he tried a smile but failed then ran his hand through his hair. "Is that coffee?" He asked like he just noticed what Gerard's been clutching in his hands.

"Yeah," Gerard said, clearing his throat, instead of the I know about memories he was about to say he added, "the machine is down the hall,"

Frank nodded, "okay. I'll be back."

Gerard nodded to Frank's back as he was making his way down the hospital corridor and stared for a moment before making his way to Diana's room.

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please comment. I hate to say this, but comments are basically what makes me write. I have a very busy sechduale and as much as I love writing, if no one interacting with me, I'm afraid I will stop writing.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: Sweraing, but only jokingly, no one is getting hurt.

 

Frank groaned and tried to hold on harder. Gerard was moving so much that Frank wanted to slap him.

"Will you hold _still_?" Frank grunted out.

Despite the situation there were in, Gerard actually managed to look up and give Frank a signature Gerard Way glare. Wasn't Frank so busy thinking he might drop everything, he would have found it impressive.

Gerard went back to what he was holding and moved closer to Frank, who just moved back and then everything was on the floor.

" _Ugh_!" Gerard groaned and bent down to pick the canvases up.

Frank started swearing under his breath and took the pile of canvases Gerard was placing carefully in his arms again. Blank canvases that needed moving to the studio but _Gerard_ was not having it to take two trips downstairs to move them up when Frank suggested it. Apparently, Gerard was a creep about having the delivery guys getting them up because he feared "journalists might disguise themselves as delivery workers and then take pictures of his unfinished work." Just when Frank was about to call him up on being paranoid, he actually told him it had happened before, so Frank couldn't really argue when Gerard split the pile of canvases into two, giving Frank one, well, trying to give Frank one.

Gerard let a breath as Frank managed to maneuver himself correctly toward the stairs, he just hoped he could make it to the studio like that.

By the time Frank had put the canvases securely where Gerard's instructed him, the man himself was there, Gerard put the canvases he was carrying right by where Frank put his and lent on the wall, catching his breath.

"You better sleep better at night knowing no journalist put their foot up here," Frank said, panting slightly. Man, all that desk job has killed any fitness he ever had.

Gerard rolled his eyes but Frank could see the corners of his mouth twitch up, "yup, my secrets are safe and sound up here,"

Frank chuckled, he liked this mood of Gerard's, the one he's been in since they brought Diana back from the hospital. He hadn't made any mean or arrogant comments since then and Frank was wondering when it was going to drop.

"Do you also want to poison the salt of the ones who try and know them?" Frank asked before he knew it, "I mean—"

"Hey, I happen to believe Merricat had a point there," Gerard interrupted, Frank could tell he was hiding his grin, but somehow he felt some seriousness underlying his reply. Nevertheless, Frank couldn't help the smile that spread on his lips when he realized Gerard understood his reference, he should've known.

"Maybe she did," Frank agreed.

Gerard huffed and crossed his arms across his chest, looking around the room thoughtfully like he was trying to find something, he added somewhat absentmindedly, "I know she did. She knew no one would understand why she, Constance and uncle Julian needed to be left alone. Look at what happened to Constance when she let Charles in. He almost wrecked everything,"

Frank was stunned for a second, was that how Gerard thought of _his_ solitude? "The Beast let Belle in and nothing bad happened. She broke his curse,"

 _Really, Frank? Fairytales?_ Come on, he had an eight year old sister; he watched more Disney movies than was normal, or even healthy, for an adult anyway.

Gerard looked at him weirdly and Frank wondered why he took what Gerard was saying to heart; the man had every right to do whatever he wanted. He liked his solitude, who was Frank to tell him not to?

"Not everyone want their curse broken, Frank." Gerard said quietly from where he's moved to some table in the corner with so many art supplies and various art materials that he doubted Gerard would find anything on if he looked for hours. Gerard started moving things around over it anyway, but Frank wasn't paying attention anymore and his mind was turning Gerard's words over and over in his head.

Right when Frank decided the topic was getting too personal and that he might've got a chance to get Gerard to open up for him, Gerard let a small "ahuh!" out and held a small canvas up, checking it with a smile. Frank couldn't tell what was on it, but Gerard seemed to have gotten into one of those zones that Frank would catch him in sometimes when be did something that interested him. The zone where he usually forgot about everything and everyone outside it, Frank should know, it was his favorite time to stare at the other man.

When that last thought crossed his mind, Frank realized how creepy it sounded, but he literally couldn't help it. His sort of a disaster-crush was kind of starting to get out of hand recently; he started noticing Gerard more, the way he spoke out of the corner of his mouth sometimes, especially if he was particularly tired. The way he'd run his hand through his hair like he wanted to keep it messy or just as a nervous tick of some sort. The way his eyes would seem too sad at times and he'd stare into nothing like he was seeing something no one else could see, and this were the things he liked about the man's appearance. He also found out how intelligent Gerard was, how compassionate and understanding he cane be when he wants to. He just didn't warm up to people well and it usually backfired.

Gerard wasn't school smart, he had that form of intelligence that is associated with knowing life and how to get on with it, which can be easily confused with being a negative person who just gave up on everything. No, Gerard knew, as much as Frank did, that life was hard and dark and unfair, but he didn't sit around and let it burn and destroy everything, he just wasn't an optimistic " _gosh, isn't life grand?_ " fool, he knew you had to be strong to get through things. He knew how tough it can be, just as Frank did.

Frank still hadn't known why Gerard felt or acted that way. Frank knew because he's seen it first hand with all the shit he went through. He just knew that Gerard just understood and that made all the difference.

"Frank?"

"Huh?" Frank asked dumbly, noticing Gerard was now extending the canvas he's been holding towards him, looking like he was waiting for something.

"What do you think? Think she'll like it?" Gerard shook the canvas in his hands a little, expression honestly curious.

Frank realized Gerard's been talking to him for a while now. He tried to focus on the painting Gerard was extending to him, he realized it was of one of Diana, well a comic book version of Diana, wearing an impressive superhero suit, her two braids extending out with electric sparks around them like they were about to emit lightening the minute she wanted. Her broken arm was extended up, Gerard made it like her cast was some kind of shield pushing some kind of shuttle up like she was trying not to let it crash.

"Wow," Frank said, coming closer to examine the painting, holding it between his hands, "Gerard, that's amazing. She's going to love it,"

Gerard's been chewing on his lips when Frank looked up at him from examining the drawing, he seemed momentarily shocked before he blushed. Frank smiled.

"You think?" Gerard looked at the painting again like he's just seeing it, "she's been reading my old X-men comic books and well, she seemed to really like Storm and I thought she might like being like her, you know," Gerard was rambling, gesturing at the painting. Frank couldn't bring himself to stop him; his way of over explaining was adorable.

"Though I tried to make her cooler than Storm, see?" He pointed at superhero Diana's arm, "I made it so she can use her cast to carry super heavy stuff. She can also emit lightening from her braids, which is, in my opinion, way cooler than just controlling the weather. I mean comic book Storm is of course greater than movie one. Halle Berry essentially killed  what was cool about her personality, but Storm wasn't a great character in the first place, at least mutation wise. I know she's great for presentation of young girls which is great and important, but that doesn't mean she wasn't lame— and, uh, well, yeah. I thought Diana might like being a superhero too, so," Gerard finally cut himself off, his voice gradually dying down. He ran his hand through the hair at the back of his head, looking down like he just realized he's been rambling. He looked up at Frank with wondering cute puppy eyes.

Frank was just smiling dumbly at him. Gerard rambling must've been the most adorable he's seen in his whole life. He was such a cute dork.

"Gerard, she's gonna love it." Frank said again with finality. Diana was going to flip. She's been going on and on about the X-men comic books Gerard's brought up to her room once she was back form the hospital. She's been complaining about having to stay in her room and not jump around like she used to do before, so Gerard suggested comic books to entertain her. Frank hadn't bought any comic books since high school, he had no idea what his aunt's done to his old ones because he couldn't take them with him when they left. Besides, most of the time, he just stole Jamia's or James's. Diana's been all over the books Gerard gave her. She's pretty much gone through the two piles Gerard brought up in only two days.

Gerard smiled and nodded, extending the canvas to Frank. Frank looked down before her realized what Gerard was doing.

"Oh, _no_ ," Frank said before he pushed the canvas back, " _you're_ giving it to her,"

Gerard's eyes widened more, "uh, I thought—"

Frank cut him off, "you gave her the books and you made this, also, she's going to want to ask a million questions and you're way better than me at explaining this stuff. You should give it to her."

Gerard was blushing again and he nodded, "okay," he said quietly.

"Besides," Frank added when Gerard just held the canvas in his hands again, "delivering artwork definitely wasn't in the job description when I signed up,"

Gerard grinned, "lucky you like your boss too much to quit,"

Frank knew Gerard had meant it as a joke but he couldn't help his heart from fluttering at the comment. "He's a bit of a big head sometimes, kinda makes you wonder,"

"I see, so you are only in it for my pretty face, ha?" Gerard was giving him his back but Frank could tell he was holding his laughter, "I should've used that when negotiating your contract. You're too pretty to work for free,"

Gerard was turning as he said that and Frank could see he was smirking and now Frank knew he was the one blushing. He didn't reply and pretended he was arranging the canvases against the wall so not to fall. He took his time before he stood up and looked around. Gerard was already holding some boxes, looking through them, deciding on something.

"Um, do you need anything else up here?" He asked half way to the door.

Gerard shook his head, still smiling a small smile that Frank felt like he was getting too addicted to seeing, "no, I'll be working on some new projects today, so I better get started,"

Frank nodded and was about to leave but stopped when he remembered, "I'm going out tonight," Frank winced at the way that left his mouth, Gerard was holding some paint brushes in his hands now, going towards his easel, he stopped and looked at Frank.

"I mean," Frank didn't know why he was making it awkward all of a sudden, "James and I are going to this gig. It's for a new band he's discovered and well, it starts at 9 but we're leaving early," Frank rambled on but thankfully stopped himself.

Frank was aware Gerarde was staring at him now, he wanted to explain further but Gerard's cheerful expression dropped and he made it to his easel sitting down and not looking at Frank.

"You finish work at 6," Gerard spoke in monotone, he was looking the canvas in front of him, "after that your time is yours,"

"Okay. Uhh.. I'm going with my _friend_ James," Frank had no idea why he even said that. He smacked himself in his head, he could've just said that from the beginning, couldn't he?

Gerard's eyes widened and his expression relaxed only slightly, "oh," he avoided Frank's eyes, "have fun,"

Frank felt himself relax, and he nodded before turning quietly and leaving the room.

....

"You know that moment when you're looking at someone and they laugh or smile of just fucking _blush_ 'cause of something dumb and you feel your heart just flutters and you know you're fucked?"

Frank said as he finished his beer and put it down. He didn't feel like he was drunk, he hadn't even drank that much but his brain wasn't getting the message and just wanted to ramble.

James looked at him weirdly then shook his head, "I think you're drunk, Frankie,"

Frank covered his face with his hand, nodding, "yeah,"

The gig finished about thirty minutes ago, as expected, it was great. James has always had great eye for new bands and Frank trusted his opinion so he wasn't surprised that whole thing was amazing. He hadn't realized how much he's needed this until he was in the middle of the mosh pit, thrashing around and screaming his lungs out even as he didn't know what the hell the lead singer were screaming into the microphone. The music was what he needed though, the angry guitar and the thrumming drums that drowned everything. If there was anything he missed about life when he didn't care about anything, it was this. This feeling.

After the gig, James suggested they go to the bar for a drink before they go home and they've been there for less than half an hour before Frank started rambling.

"So, who is he?" James asked when Frank finished another beer and just sat miserably staring at the bartender giving people their drinks.

Frank snapped his head back to his friend, "who's who?

James gave a sly smile, "you know who,"

"Voldemort?" Frank knew he was being a smartass and that earned him a slap on the back from James. " _What_?" He wined.

"Don't _what_ me. You're going to tell me who this dude who's got you all lovey dubby or I'm gonna call Jamia and make her get it out of you," he threatened.

Frank rubbed his face with his hand and grunted, "it's no one, really. Just a stupid crush," he dismissed it with a flick of his hand like that crush wasn't turning into a real problem recently, "I was just too much of an idiot to blabber about us to my supposed _best_ friend,"

James rolled his eyes, "fucker," he said too good heartedly to even sound insulting, "I'm calling Jamia," he declared after a second, picking his phone up from his pocket and going through his contacts

"What?" Frank was about to drop it and relax, but James seemed too serious for Frank to risk ignoring him, "come on, dude, you can't. She'll never get off my back over it!" He said trying to reach over to James's phone, but the fucker pulled the old I'm taller than you game of raising the phone over his head, and since he was a giant compared to Frank, even sitting down Frank was practically a midget next to him, he couldn't even touch it.

Eventually, Frank got tired of jumping to get to the phone James was holding above his head. He gave up and sat down, giving James a dirty look. James raised an eyebrow and grinned when Frank rolled his eyes, muttering "fucking giant" under his breath. He was pretty sure James heard him but he was grinning too much over his victory to care.

_The fucker._

"Okay, fine," Frank said waving his arms around, "it's the dude I'm working for right now, satisfied?" He said too quickly.

James gasped and Frank would've laughed wasn't he busy blushing and competing with a tomato over how red he was getting.

"Fuck _me_ , your boss? The artist?!"

Frank nodded and sat back with a huff. Fuck _him_ , he was never going to hear the end of this, he just knew it.

James was shaking his head, chuckling as he reached for his beer, "well, I can't blame you. I saw his pictures in newspapers, he's cute."

Frank looked at James from the corner of his eye, "I thought you were straight,"

"You can still appreciate someone's beauty even if you're not attracted to them, dude,"

Frank laughed, "Taylor's been rubbing on you?"

James huffed, "it's actually been really good recently. The practices have been going a lot smoother since Taylor's  
joined,"

Frank knew James didn't mean it in a bad way but he couldn't help the wave of disappointment that washed through him. He knew the guys needed a good guitarist and he had recommended them Taylor himself. He knew it was terrible of him to even think that way, but he guessed some small part of him still wished they'd miss him enough to feel like the band wasn't whole without him, which was ridiculous, really. They were all talented musicians, even without him or Taylor. He knew they were going to make it someday. He could see it, they were going to make it. And he wasn't jealous of that fact, not really. They didn't kick him out and had even begged him to stay when he told them he had to leave because he couldn't exactly juggle a band, three jobs and, at the time, six year old sister back home at the same time. They even offered to switch practices around for him, but Frank knew deep down it wasn't going to work. So he left.

Besides, he wouldn't regret leaving his dream behind for his little sister. Music had always been his passion and would forever be, whether he was in a band or not. He just had to deal with the fact that he wasn't going to be able to peruse it at the moment, maybe not ever, but at the end of the day, he had to understand how it was all worth it to see Diana happy and healthy, living her childhood like any other child. He wouldn't have it any other way.

James must've noticed how quiet Frank's got because he turned at him and said, "Frankie, you know I didn't mean—"

Frank cut him short, "of course not," he smiled, "I'm happy for you. You know I am. I knew Taylor was a talented guy and would be a great addition to the band,"

James nodded, "we'll always have a place for you know," he said, looking down.

Frank grinned mischievously, "aww, Dewees, are you admitting you miss me?"

James smiled and pushed his shoulder lightly, "fuck you, Frankie, and here I thought I hurt your feelings,"

Frank laughed then patted his friend's shoulder, "you? Dude, I pushed you from stage into the audience and you wouldn't let me hear the end of it for a month. You drew a circle around you on stage and called it the 'Frank-Free Zone,'"

"For the record, you didn't just push me into the audience, you pushed me into some guys fucking head. I cut my lip and it wouldn't stop bleeding until I got stitches!"

Frank actually laughed out loud at that, slapping his thigh and remembering that day. He did open James's lip and, though it was a small cut, there were blood everywhere; on the shirt of the dude he hit his head and on James's face and shirt. Frank, for a frightening moment, thought he had injured James badly, until he saw the actual wound and relaxed.

"Seriously though," James finally nodded seriously, he nudged Frank's shoulder, "how are things with you? How's D?"

Frank's smiled at the mention of Diana, "she broke her arm,"

James inhaled sharply, "she did? Fuck, why didn't you tell me? Is she okay?"

Frank chuckled, "she's fine. Fully taking advantage of the situation, but fine,"

James shook his head, "that kid is so much like you, Frankie, it scares me sometimes,"

Frank just nodded. He stopped himself from replying how it scared him too and how he sometimes wished it wasn't true.      

.....

Gerard didn't know how he got here, although the feeling was still familiar as the first time he's been there.

He was aware that he was sitting on the damp grass, resting his head on the cold stone behind his back, burying his hands into his pockets to keep warm. No matter how many nights he spent there, it never became familiar, the feeling maybe, but nothing else about the place ever did.

This time, however, something felt different. He didn't know what exactly, but he did have time to think about it because the next thing he felt was something warm touching his shoulder and he turned to see a hand barely laid there. He looked gradually up the arm that was decorated gorgeously with familiar colorful tattoos running up until they hid under the thin sleeve of the shirt he was wearing.

Gerard has first seen Frank's tattoos at Christa and Ray's wedding, when he was too drunk to care about keeping them hidden away. He had always worn long sleeve shirts around him before, he supposed he feared getting in trouble or being fired for them. Gerard wouldn't have; tattoos were art and art was always justified. At least to him.

Now that Gerard managed to tear his eyes off Frank's arms, he finally made it to the younger man's gentle face. He was just smiling, a warm reassuring smile that Gerard felt like was only meant for him. Frank was so close too and after a while, he just sat down next to him. Gerard wanted to warn him of the dampness so not to wet his already thin clothes (seriously, wasn't he cold? Gerard was shivering), but didn't say anything. Frank sat so close beside him that their thighs and arms touched, he leant his head on Gerard's shoulder.

Gerard didn't say anything, just inhaled the smell of Frank's hair, it smelled of whatever shampoo he was using and Gerard couldn't really place it. It just smelled nice. Frank lifted his head until he rested his chin on Gerard's shoulder.

"So this is where you disappear to all those times?" Frank whispered with hidden humor in his voice, his small smile still there, but his being this close made Gerard feel his warm breath on his face and suddenly Gerard was aware he was dreaming.

Gerard closed his eyes and nodded. He felt Frank's fingers touch his face, tracing lines lightly around his eyes and mouth. He ignored the thing in his brain telling him it was just a dream. Admittedly, he had dreamt of Frank before, although that was usually in much different more... exciting scenarios, but not like this. Never like this. Somehow, the way Frank was close to him right now felt more intimate than anything Gerard had dreamt of doing to him, or being done to him in return.

Gerard eventually opened his eyes and raised his hands to Frank's face, gently holding it.

"Frank," Gerard breathed and Frank's smile widened, Gerard found it so hard to convince himself that his subconscious could replicate Frank's perfection so accurately, "God, I wish this was real," he added breathlessly.

"It could be, Gee," dream Frank answered.

Gerard hummed and closed his eyes again because he wasn't about to argue with his own subconscious on how anything being real with real Frank was practically impossible. Instead, he tried to enjoy Frank's closeness and warmth. He tried to savor it because he knew he was going to miss this when he woke up. But when he opened his eyes the second time, all he could see was red. Literal red over everything and he needed a moment to realize it was blood; that Frank was bleeding.

There was so much of it that Gerard felt his hands stick to Frank's face. Frank was still smiling, his smile gradually turning red when the blood running down his face smeared it and then he seemed confused.

Gerard let go of Frank's face, aware that he was hyperventilating. He looked at his hands that were covered with blood and back at Frank who got his whole shirt dripping with it.

Gerard grasped Frank, trying to know from where he was bleeding. He knew he was dreaming, but the horror he felt sweeping him was too real. He didn't know what to do. Frank was just fucking bleeding everywhere, the sticky fluid running down his face and shirt.

Frank eventually collapsed and his eyes were fluttering and Gerard was only then aware of his own panicked voice, "Frankie? oh _God_ , Frank, please, _please_. Oh God. Oh God, Frank? _Frank_? Please, Frank, answer _me_!"

Frank's breaths were getting shallower and Gerard held him in his arms. "Frankie, please, don't leave. Please, I need you. God, I need you. _Stay_ , please, just stay,"

Gerard held Frank to his chest, smearing his own clothes with blood, there was so much fucking blood. So much and Gerard was crying. His vision was blurring and he didn't know what to do to stop it. He didn't know how he could save Frank.

In a second, the almost lifeless body in his arms turned to another face. Another face he hadn't seen in years, even in his dreams. She was dying too. Blood running down her face and covering her shirt just like it did with Frank and Gerard screamed. He didn't know for whom now, he was just chanting, "oh, God, please. God, please. Don't go. Please. Don't leave me... _Please_..."

 

  
Gerard woke up in a pool of sweat.

He was panting, just like he did in the dream, but the coldness and, more importantly, both lifeless bodies he was clutching to his arms were gone. He looked around him, he was in his bed and all he could see around him were crumbled sheets pushed aside. He laid his head back down, still panting but less so, and stared at the dark ceiling.

He didn't want to think about the dream— nightmare, and he was still terrified to close his eyes again. He sat up and rubbed his face with his hand before signing, so much for sleep now.

Glancing at his alarm clock, and finding it was still five past midnight, he sat on the bed, dangling his feet to the cold floor. He sighed again before pulling on his sweatpants and got up.

...

The living room light was turned off when Gerard made his way there. He was already in when he noticed the tv light casting weird shadows around the room and Frank's small body curled on the couch. Gerard stood in his tracks until he noticed Frank was fast asleep.

Finding the courage to go in, Gerard sat on the armchair just by the couch Frank was lying on. He had pulled some blanket over him and his head was covered with the hood of his hoodie, some of his black hair sticking out covering his face and his half opened mouth as he breathed softly in his sleep.

Gerard had to physically restrain himself from reaching over and touch. He just watched Frank's chest rise and fall and, somewhere during that, he slept.

...

Frank woke up with a cramped neck. He cursed his brain for justifying how closing his eyes while watching a movie on tv the night before was just for _a few minutes_.

Pushing the hood of his hoodie off his head, he cranked his neck and tried to think how he was going to survive the day behind a desk with a cramping neck when he noticed he wasn't alone.

Gerard was snoring softly on the armchair right next to the couch Frank's been sleeping on. His head was leaning to the side, resting between his shoulder and the arm of the chair, his hair covering his face. Frank knew how creepy it was that he was staring, but he couldn't help it. Gerard looked so peaceful and so much younger asleep. He glanced at his watch and, finding it was only six am, pushed himself off the couch and went to the kitchin. He fixed two cups of coffee and went back to the living room.

Gerard was still sleeping in his same position. Frank placed the cups on the coffee table and changed the channel the tv was on. He sat on the couch after settling on the least uninteresting thing that was on, sipping his coffee silently and enjoying the silence. Diana didn't have to wake up for school yet, and he and Gerard didn't have to start working until 8 am (officially, at least, Gerard's odd times didn't apply obviously), and Frank thought he'd give Gerard some sleeping time before he woke him up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I've had this rewritten for a while but I was waiting on someone who have contacted me about beta-ing this story but they never replied back. As I know this story does need a Beta, I'm officially asking anyone who wants to help with it to contact me ASAP. 
> 
> This was just a filler chapter where they bond more ;) I really enjoyed writing this one! Next one will have much more drama so get ready :)
> 
> Please leave a comment so I can get the motivation to write this thing :) thank you!


	10. Snippet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I know I said I'm gonna write a drama filled chapter (I am) but I was feeling very frustrated recently and I had the idea to write something happy and  lighthearted. So here it is, a small fluffy snippet. I hope you like it!
> 
> Also, this fic is going to be beta-ed by the wonderful ManWhoSoldTheWorld. So I'm going to be updating previous chapters with the Beta-ed version sometime soon. Nothing is gonna to change; just grammar and punctuation.

  
"Ahhh!”

Frank loosened his fingers around the strands and apologized. “Sorry, sorry!”

Diana just grunted, “Frankie, are you sure you know how to do it?”

Frank hummed and concentrated on twisting the strands around each other just like the pictures on his phone were telling him. He was sticking his tongue out and trying his hardest not to pull on Diana's hair too harshly, but it was hopeless. His fingers twisted and he sighed. At first he had tried to convince himself that French braiding couldn't possibly be any more difficult than learning a musical instrument, now could it? But it was. He had no idea how any human could possibly be able to do this thing with five fingers on each hand.

A few months ago, when Diana decided she would put her hair in two braids all the time, Frank made himself learn how to braid correctly using YouTube, which wasn't that hard actually. He learnt it in no time and did Diana's hair all the time.

Now, however, she wanted to change her hair. She couldn't do it herself, though, with her broken arm. As Frank was about to let out a relieved breath seeing as he was finally done with braiding her hair every morning and after every shower, she told him she was going to put her hair in a French braid from now on.

“Because,” Diana answered impatiently with a roll of her eyes when Frank asked why that was exactly. "It looks much more sophisticated, Frankie!” Frank had no idea when she had even learned the word sophisticated or what a French braid even was. He shortly after learnt that it was just a braid.

A braid from hell.

“Frankie, is it done?” Diana asked excitedly when Frank dropped his hands from her hair.

It was pointless. He had no idea what he was doing.

“I'm sorry, D. I can't do it.” Frank explained, turning her to face him, “I really tried.”

Frank felt his heart break when he saw the disappointment on Diana's face as she just nodded. He poked at her cheek until she smiled and then he poked her sides until she started giggling.

“Frankie!” Diana whined, squirming away.

Frank raised his arms in surrender. He usually teased her more, but he feared she might hurt her arm so he stopped. “I'm really sorry, D.” He apologized again.

Diana smiled as she hugged Frank's neck. “It's okay, Frankie,” she said, kissing his cheek.

Frank grinned when Diana sat back on the bed, touching the cast on her arm that she's drawn on with her water colors. She made Frank and Gerard sign it and Gerard promised he'd draw superhero Diana again for her on her cast when he was done working on some deadline in his studio.

Frank watched Diana tracing a butterfly she'd drawn on the cast when he got an idea. He stood up and went to his room, then was back before Diana could say anything.

Diana's grin was the widest he's seen it when he came back with his guitar and sat beside her. Back when they had more time together, Frank used to play his little sister whatever song he had learnt recently. When they lived with their aunt, the woman laid down a rule that he couldn't play while she was hungover or drinking, which was all the fucking time basically. Frank still played whenever he could, especially when Diana was upset about something.

Diana sat patiently as Frank wired the guitar and made sure it was tuned correctly. He started playing as Diana sat back and watched.

…

“Frankie, play ‘39!”

Gerard could hear Diana's shouts from the stairs. He had heard the guitar playing earlier, but thought Frank had just been listening to music at a high volume. As he came up, he realized it was Frank who was playing the Green Day songs he could hear from downstairs as he made his coffee. He slowed down and tiptoed until he reached the barely opened door of Diana's room.

Frank was on the bed, strumming on an electric guitar situated in his lap. He started playing Queen’s "‘39" as per Diana's request and Gerard couldn't help but stand there and listen.

Frank was talented. Gerard knew he played guitar, but he didn't know he was that good. The notes to the song kept coming as Diana sang the words, sometimes messing them up completely. Gerard was chuckling before he knew it. He leant with his back against the wall by Diana's room door and slid until he was on the floor, crossing his legs to sit more comfortably. He closed his eyes and listened.

Gerard smiled and thought about how he could ever stand the silence in that house before.

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading. Please, be kind enough to tell me what you think :)


	11. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter is probably the longest I've written so far. It's not beta-ed. Im going to update the beta-ed version once it's available. I just didn't want to make you guys to wait longer.
> 
> That being said, I really enjoyed writing this one that I think I got a bit carried away, huh. It might also appear a bit jumbled like it's been just pieced together, sorry about that.
> 
> (Sorry for the long A/N)  
> ...

"I'm officially going to kill this person,"

Gerard was working on his desk, deciding if he was going to accept an offer from a possible buyer when he heard that and saw Frank had already made his way to his desk practically shaking, it took Gerard a second to realize with nerves. He was holding some magazine in his hand and waving it around that Gerard couldn't even see what was on it. He figured it had to do with all the coffee Frank's had since morning. He drank enough to keep an elephant awake for two days, but he wasn't about to comment on it, not with Frank looking like he was about to shoot someone

"What?" Gerard asked, genuinely confused. He couldn't see anything on the magazine Frank was waving around.

"This thing, whoever wrote it I'm going to kill them," Frank repeated through gritted teeth.

"Okay, I can't say I don't fully support that decision, but may I at least ask what they did?" Gerard asked calmly.

"LOOK!" Frank all but shouted, shoving the magazine in his face.

Gerard gave him a look before actually pulling the magazine out of his shaking hands and looking at it properly. He had to double blink and take a deep breath. It was about a week old magazine plastered with pictures of Gerard rushing through what was obviously an ER door, holding Diana in his arms. It was so blurry that you couldn't see Diana's face which was buried in Gerard's chest, but it was obviously Gerard. Above the pictures was a huge title: The City's Elites Favorite Artist: Gerard Way, A Secret Child? Or An Alcohol Induced Accident?

"Frank, I'm so sorry. I didn't know... I'll call them right now. Diana is a child, they shouldn't—" Gerard could feel himself panicking, but he was silenced by Frank.

"What?" Frank asked sharply.

"I know. I know. Trust me I'll fix it," Gerard said again, avoiding Frank's eyes; even fully aware Frank knew he hadn't had a hand in this, he still felt the guilt eating him up.

"This us not about Diana," Frank said with the same sharp tone, "don't get me wrong, if her face or name was showing in this thing I would've killed the guy already,"

"Oh." Gerard said calmly, still avoiding Frank's eyes,

" _Oh_?" Frank repeated pointing with his fingers to the title, "you're seeing what I'm seeing, right?"

Gerard didn't dare look up. He felt ashamed that something like that can be said about him after everything. The photos looked up at him mockingly.

"It's not unusual, Frank." He tried to control his voice, still looking down, "it happens. More often than you think actually. I was going to call them for Diana if you're uncomfortable with her photos, if not, I won't," he added the last sentence pushing the magazine away. He meant it, still, it didn't mean it didn't hurt, because it did. He just forced himself not to care a long time ago, he wasn't about to now.

"You're not going to do anything about it?! This is disgusting!" Frank's voice was compassionate despite his words. Gerard still looked down, but his chest felt warmer somehow. He wondered if Frank was saying that because it was his sister he was carrying to the ER and not someone else, but he was still touched he cared, no one has, in a very long time.

Gerard wasn't made of stone, he spent years being angry about stupid false rumors, but then he learned to laugh at them. Admittedly, it's been a while since tabloids had something to publish about him, so things had died down to stupid rumors with no pictures a long time ago. He supposed now his driving an unknown child to the ER just stirred things. He honestly didn't mind them, as long as he knew the truth. Although why would paparazzi actually leave all those reality stars with their scandals and follow a hermit artist as himself around the city was beyond him. But if Frank wasn't concerned about Diana being in them then he didn't have a problem really.

His and Frank's relationship has developed into some kind of friendship on the span of the last few weeks. He supposed it had to do with Diana being ill and his trying to help as much as he could, feeling that weird big brother feeling. Frank didn't seem to mind and Gerard honestly liked getting to know him better, and not just his past life, but the things he cared about, the books he read, the music he listened to. He couldn't bring himself to be surprised their tastes matched a lot, even the points they disagreed on whether in music or books or movies, served to be exciting topics of discussions whenever they had free time together.

Gerard liked their friendship and valued it; valued Frank wanting to be his friend. He appreciated his getting defensive, but he didn't see a point to it.

Gerard blinked and looked up at Frank who was still waiting for his answer. He sighed and wet his lips, "Frank—

"No. Don't _Frank_ me. They had no right. You didn't do that," Frank said, apparently not interested in Gerard's rationality. "You helped her when you didn't even have to! Not 'been driving under the effect and hit her'" Frank quoted and Gerard closed his eyes as the words were said aloud.

"Frank," Gerard tried again, "It's not gonna change anything. I get mad and call the magazine. They apologize and publish it in a small paragraph in the next issue... it's just not worth it." He tried to explain.

"This is it isn't it? This is what journalism has become." Gerard hoped Frank wasn't actually waiting for an answer to that, thankfully he continued on his rent on his own, having Gerard suppressing a grin over how cute it was, moving aimlessly about the room, still clutching the magazine in his hands.

"You know what? I'm gonna change my whole way of dealing with those things from now on. That's what I'm going to do. I'm having a business epiphany. The Frank that believed that some people were stereotyped and misunderstood? Remember him, my friend? He's gone. They're going to see a new one. Journalism ethics? Ah, you could keep dreaming. It's money that talks with these people. No matter who they try to hurt."

Gerard was chuckling at this point, leaning back on his chair. He had no idea Frank looked so adorable ranting, his face red and his hands moving around randomly in the air. He thought about showing Frank the more outrageous rumors about him that's been published before, but refrained because he had a feeling that was going to make him want to burn down every tabloid magazine in the city.

"Oh, you're laughing now?" Frank asked, noticing Gerard's chuckles.

Gerard grinned, unable to cover how funny he was finding this whole thing. He raised his hands up in surrender, shaking his head, hoping his hair would fall down and cover his grin because he honestly didn't think he was stoping anytime soon. 

Frank huffed and just glared at Gerard. He crossed his arms over his chest, looking away momentarily, then back at grinning Gerard with the same glare. He looked like an angry child who was denied going to the park.

Gerard tried to sound serious, "look, Frank, I'm sorry, alright?" He tired apologizing, but doubted it sounded sincere as how hard he was grinning, "you have my blessing to do whatever you want to whomever wrote this, okay?"

Frank huffed again and turned around to leave then seemed to remember something, turning around. Gerard could see him fighting to keep his upset expression. "Is there any coffee left?" He asked quietly.

Gerard laughed "oh, no, you're not getting any more coffee." Gerard instructed going back to his paperwork, "we don't want you burning down the magazine headquarters too,"  

Frank pouted and Gerard was endlessly fascinated how that made him look more of an angry five year old, "I don't have time for coffee anyway." He challenged.

"You're going to let new Frank deal with the magazine?" Gerard added with a suppressed giggle.

Frank gave him a look that got him cracking up the minute the latter left the room.

...

"Frank?"

Frank wasn't even startled when he heard Gerard call. He had heard him coming into the office a few seconds ago, clearly done in his studio and back to his desk. He's just got to the door of his office when he turned back to Frank's desk, stopped at it and just looked down at what Frank was doing, which was filing away some mail.

"Yeah?" Frank answered back, head still down and tone distracted.

"Are you okay?" Gerard asked hesitantly.

"Why would I not be okay?" Still distracted.

"Ah, nothing it's just—" he started then looked closely at what Frank's been filing away into two piles, which were invitations that needed RSVP-ing and since Gerard never really said yes to any of them, he was just going to put them on his desk and pick them up a couple of hours later, both of them pretending Gerard had actually read them.

Gerard spoke again, dropping one of the invitations down beside Frank's head, "I mean, you know you finish work at 6 right?"

"Ahuh, why?" Frank was really tired of Gerard's obvious questions. He had work to do.

"Just checking. It's 8 right now."

"Okay."

Frank could hear Gerard sighing loudly, "Frank, what are you doing working till now?" He asked impatiently. Frank knew he had a point, he never really worked so late and he figured even Gerard would find that quiet odd.

Frank finally raised his head up and saw Gerard was staring at him, has been staring at him for a while now. He was very close to his desk and had a very concerned look on his face, clutching his coffee mug in his hands. Frank couldn't help smiling at how soft he looked in his baggy paint splattered hoodie and paint splattered oily hair, falling in dark brown strands around his face, almost to his shoulders.

"I figured since I had to leave for a couple of hours for Diana's teacher-parent meeting, I'd make up for it tonight." He replied.

Gerard frowned slightly, "you know you don't have to,"

"Yeah, I just wanted to," Frank answered quietly.

Gerard looked down and bit his lip, "ah, okay,"

Frank felt bad that he made him feel guilty, because that was how Gerard looked like now. He pushed his hair away from his eyes and made an attempt at moving to his office door. Frank suddenly didn't want him to leave him alone anymore. "You know it's been one hectic day."

Gerard stopped and turned back, surprised, "yeah?"

"Yeah," Frank nodded, dropping his pen down and looking at Gerard, "a father at the school meeting asked me out."

Gerard's eyes shot open slightly and Frank could see him try and appear uninterested, "he did? You going?"

Frank shook his head, "nah. He's got a kid in school with Diana and the whole thing just seemed weird." He answered truthfully. In all honesty, the guy looked decent, he was older than Frank would allow himself to go on a date with, but he was nice and good looking, Frank would've actually thought about it wasn't for the whole kid thing.

"Oh, good." Gerard answered, avoiding Frank's eyes and looking at his coffee mug, moving the spoon he left in there around in the liquid.

Frank smirked, "good?"

Gerard nodded, looking at Frank again but not noticing Frank's teasing, or maybe ignoring it. He answered seriously, "yeah, I think it's good that you turned him down,"

"Okay?"

Gerard must've realized that Frank was confused, because he explained, "I mean he's probably old, right?"

Frank's smirk was back, "old?"

"I mean he's got a kid in school,"  Gerard explained, obviously uncomfortable.

"So?" He liked the fact that Gerard didn't even appear to have a clue that Frank was only teasing.

Gerard put his hair behind his ear, more uncomfortable now. Frank's never been more amused. "You're nineteen. You're young. Most people are—"

"Old?" Frank cut him short.

"Yeah." Gerard answered, a little breathless looking as if Frank's spared him a lot of pain saying that.

"Like this guy who asked me out?" Frank asked again.

Gerard's eyes shot back up to Frank's, "but you're not going?"

Frank smiled, "no, I'm not going," he answered and his smile was genuine.

...

Frank has just closed his eyes when there was a knock on his bedroom door.

He lifted his head up and looked at the clock beside his head. It was pointing to 7:30 pm and he grunted before he closed his eyes and called a sleepy _come in_. He had no idea who it would be, Diana usually never knocked, she'd just barge in whenever she wanted which usually happened late at night. Right now, it was still pretty early for her.

Why was he sleeping at 7:30 in the evening? You might ask. Well, let's just say a certain Jamia Nestor wanted to Skype him and Diana the night before since she finally got a hotel night on her tour with decent Internet access. After convincing Diana to stop telling Jamia every single thing they've done since they've moved to Gerard's, he finally got her to go to bed. Afterwards, he kept talking to Jamia way late into the night. He hadn't realized how much he's missed her until they started talking, which went on until three in the morning. Frank had to wake up early the next day for an early delivery for Gerard and so he decided to have a very early night that day after finishing his work.

Apparently, no sleeping was going to happen because he could hear Gerard calling his name; "Frank?" Gerard asked warily at first then his eyes widened as he came closer and stood before Frank's bed.

In a moment, realizing that Gerard was actually there looking at him, Frank jumped and hit his head on the bed board. He closed his eyes and let a quiet "Ouh!" rubbing his head where he could feel a nasty bruise forming and becoming aware he didn't have his shirt on. In fact, he was only in his boxers, but thankfully his bed sheets were covering that. He didn't have time to say anything though because when he opened his eyes next, he could see Gerard running out of the room hurriedly.

...

"Frank, I'm really sorry. I thought—"

Frank has just opened the door of his bedroom to find a nervous looking Gerard who, once he spotted him, started saying that.

Frank waved his hands to shut Gerard up. The guy looked like he was going into a panic attack, "Gerard, it's okay. Really."

Gerard shook his head, "no, it's not. I wasn't paying attention to the time. I was in the studio working when I got the message and I came to the office and you weren't there and—"

"Gerard, it's okay." Frank repeated coming closer to Gerard until he was right in his face. Gerard's mouth stopped mid motion and hanged open before he nodded. Frank couldn't help giggling, "I was just catching on on some sleep. It's seven thirty, not that late really. What's up?"

Gerard's cheeks turned adorably pink. He tucked his hair behind his ear and smiled as his tense shoulders dropped. Frank looked for a little too long at the blushing man before him before he realized he had his hands over Gerard's shoulders. He dropped his eyes and his hands quickly and Gerard moved back as if on extinct.

"You said something about a message?" Frank said, clearing his throat.

"Yeah," Gerard replied, a little breathless. He pulled his phone out of his pocket as if to check that he in fact had received a message, running his hand through his hair.

"So, we don't need to leave until half an hour. The appointment is at the Marriott at eight thirty, but I thought I should tell you first," Gerard was saying now as he clicked his phone shut.

"The Marriott? The hotel?" Frank asked dumbly.

"Yeah, there's someone I need to meet and I need you with me," Gerard said that and something showed in his eyes, something made Frank uncomfortable for some reason.

"Ah, okay," Frank said, scratching his neck, avoiding Gerard's eyes for a second. He supposed Gerard wasn't asking, just informing since it was work reacted anyway, "I'll get dressed," then he remembered, "you said it was 8:30? If we're leaving in half an hour we wouldn't—"

Gerard cut him short, "I know. I'm not planing on getting there early,"

"Oh," Frank said and just stared at Gerard for a second, but Gerard didn't elaborate more, so Frank nodded and added another okay before going back to his room, trying to remember if he even owned something that could be worn to such a place.

...

  
The car Frank sat beside Gerard in could easily be worth more than anything Frank's earned in his entire life. He tried not to be too tense about that fact, since Gerard seemed to be tense enough for the both of them currently. He had assumed they'd take Gerard's car just like they did at Ray and Christa's wedding, but Gerard had another one ready by the door when they were done and this time his driver was behind the wheel. Still, Frank couldn't help feeling uneasy. He had no idea why, but the way Gerard was dressed and where they were going didn't register right with him. He tried to pretend it was due to the fact that he's never been to such a luxurious place, but his uneasiness wouldn't subside, and Frank was the one to always trust his gut feeling. God knows how many times it got him out of trouble, but this was work and he couldn't exactly bail on his boss just because he was feeling uneasy.

The ride was uneventful. Frank couldn't stop the sneaky looks he kept giving the man who sat beside him. Gerard was lost in his own mind as sometimes he did and Frank had the feeling that he wouldn't be caught if he stared anyway, but he had told himself before that he was not going to. Sneaky glances however didn't count as staring (or at least he tried to convince himself they didn't) so he couldn't stop himself from giving in to them.

Frank had never seen Gerard in a suit before. Well, he had seen him wearing a suit at Ray and Christa's wedding but that was a simple tux. Now, and even Frank didn't know that much about formal dressing, Gerard wore a black tailored suit with a black tightly fitted button down underneath that made him look every inch of a supermodel. Frank was so used to seeing Gerard in layered baggy paint splattered clothes that he almost didn't believe how fit he looked underneath it all.

It wasn't even just the suit that looked extravagant, but Gerard himself seemed to reflect money and power. Frank figured that was the point behind his entire appearance. He had noticed how Gerard's hands didn't have any paint on them, which was their usual appearance and Frank's way of knowing the amount of time Gerard's spent in his studio. In fact, Gerard didn't just look nice, he looked rich. That was the only word to describe the way he dressed that came to his mind. His hair was shining and he had combed it back (which, let Frank tell you, was a sight on Gerard's usually greasy and tangled hair). He wore cufflinks that looked more expensive than Frank's entire yearly income, and an expensive looking watch glittered heavily on his wrest. Frank had always thought Gerard was gorgeous, but tonight he had no idea his he was supposed to keep his eyes off of him.

"Frank?" Gerard called all of a sudden and Frank flinched wondering if he had been caught staring, but Gerard was just looking nervously at him so he just hummed in response.

"If I asked you to come with me to this meeting as a friend, would you do it?"

Gerard's voice was neutral, but his eyes were as far from neutrality as they could. Frank could see his hands twisting together in his lap. He blinked.

"I would," he answered truthfully. He's come to consider Gerard as a friend and not just his boss fora while now. He had no idea when that had happened exactly, but somewhere between taking care of Diana when she broke her arm, and the casual bickering and joking they had developed over the past couple of weeks, Frank realized he and Gerard had become friends even if neither had spoke the word yet.

Gerard smiled that crocked smile that had Franck heart going into overdrive. He was about to say something else but the car has finally swirled into a stop and Frank broke their eye contact to try and look out of the darkly tinted window more as an excuse to avoid Gerard's eyes, but all he could see was the hotel's entrance.

Frank only had the time to blink before his door was opened and he was faced with four or five people by the huge turnstile Frank figured they were meant to go through. It took Frank a second to realize they were journalists who, judging by the blinding flash coming from outside, were already taking pictures of the car. He could see them holding cameras and getting ready to capture whomever left that car.

Frank froze. How did the press know they were coming? And most importantly, was he supposed to just get out or was Gerard supposed to? Was there a protocol to these things? Did journalists even care about that? He knew he was freaking out, that was at least until he felt a hand on his. He heard a quiet whisper in his ear: "it's okay. Just get out of the car. They don't want you." Gerard's voice sent a shiver down his spine as his breath tickled his neck.

Frank knew that last sentence should maybe have made him feel inferior, but the way Gerard's said made him know that he meant it in the most comforting way. Gerard gave him the warmest expression, giving his hand a final squeeze and nodding to confirm his words. Frank nodded back and watched Gerard's expression turn stony before he turned and pushed himself out of the car.

If you asked Frank to tell you how they made it into the hotel's lobby, he would have no idea what to say. He could remember getting out of the car and missing the warmth of Gerard's hand over his. He could remember Gerard walking in front of him, fast but confident, but nothing else. The flashes of the cameras blinded him completely, and as he and Gerard made it to the elevators, Frank was sure he's gone temporarily blind.

"Man," Frank said, rubbing his eyes and leaning on the railing beside Gerard in the most luxurious elevator Frank's ever set a foot in. "Remind me of that shit show any time I ask you why you don't leave your house in the future."

Frans vision still hadn't come back to normal, but he could hear Gerard giggling. He was smiling before he knew it. "It's not that bad elsewhere, just a couple of paparazzi hiding in the bushes here and there usually, but at places like this, they don't usually miss a chance."

Frank had finally managed to see properly when the elevator doors opened reveling what he assumed was the second floor where the receptionist had informed them Gerard's meeting was. He had a second to see Gerard and be stunned by how good looking he was again before he gave him a small smile and turned to get out of the elevator.

Frank followed, feeling completely unfamiliar to the place. He tried not to look around much so not to appear so out of place, but the place demanded that of him somehow. The first thing he saw was the marble water fountain that was in the middle of the huge hall they just stepped into. The water was lit from underneath, giving its crystal water an angelic glow. Lights surrounding it were turned dim and Frank's vision was thankful of that after the circus outside.

They circled the fountain and made their way to an entire wall made of glass, which Frank could tell would give a magnificent view of whatever was outside in daytime, but was now black and reflective of them making their way to it. Along the far end were scattered empty tables, but Gerard didn't stop there, he kept going until they were by the back a little bit away from the bar and just by the glass windows that now, since they were close enough, showed the pool outside; which was lit in the same fashion the fountain was, but its water was a sky blue instead of clear crystal.

Gerard stopped suddenly and turned to Frank. He seemed at loss of what to say for a second, his nervousness showing in his eyes in a way his confident demeanor didn't reflect at all. His eyes were searching everywhere before they finally met Frank's. "We're about to meet someone," he said unnecessarily, then raised a hand to his hair before he seemed to remember he couldn't mess it, "can you not say anything until we're done? I promise to explain later," Gerard's eyes were pleading.

Frank was nodding before his brain had even confirmed the order.

Gerard gave him a sincere smile and whispered a soft thank you before they started walking again.

...

The table Frank and Gerard got to had one person sitting on it. Gerard hadn't given it a second glance before he approached the old looking man giving them his back. Frank couldn't see anything of him really other than the balding back of his head. Gerard, however, continued confidently towards the table, and Frank got stunned for whatever thousandth time that evening of how he carried himself, his expression stony and posture straight and rigid; his back losing the usual bent that Frank had assumed came with Gerard's general wish to appear as invisible as possible.

"Mr. Way!" The old man spoke in a cheerful voice before Gerard and Frank even made it to the table. "I had almost assumed you forgot about our appointment." The man's voice was honeyed but Frank could detect the annoyance lacing it.

Gerard gave a stern smile, "I hadn't forgotten," his voice was flat and Frank wanted to laugh over how quickly his answer made the man's face drop.

"This is Frank, my personal assistant. Frank, this is Will Baker, an old acquaintance." Gerard introduced easily.

The man gave an uneasy smile and shock Franks's hand. "Shall we start?"

"Certainly," Gerard still spoke in the same manner. He sat his expression so presumptions and obviously disgusted. Frank had never seen him look at someone like that ever before, he wondered what that guy has done to deserve it.

The other man sat across from Gerard and Frank after giving Gerard a strange look. He smiled. "So," he said, "the business we need to discuss..." he gestured with his hands like he was asking Gerard to start.

Gerard's mouth made a straight line, before saying, his voice disgusted, "we're not discussing anything. I'm going to talk and you're going to listen," as the last word left his mouth his voice turned dangerous in a way Frank's never heard it before.

"Excuse me?" The Baker guy seemed to drop any indication he had towards being civil, "I don't know who you think you are—"

Gerard let a breath from his nose in annoyance then pulled something out of the pocket of his jacket, silencing the man before him. It took Frank a second to realize it was a small brown envelop. He laid it on the table between them.

"Open it," Gerard ordered.

Baker narrowed his eyes in suspicion but grabbed the envelop anyway and tore it open. Frank couldn't see what was in it, but if the man's horrified expression was anything to go by, he knew Gerard had every right to act so cocky.

"This is—"

Gerard interrupted, "very real. Trust me." He smiled and gave the man another minute to examine whatever he pulled out of that envelop. Gerard didn't move a muscle, and thick silence falling on the table.

"Now, for the part you need to listen very carefully to." Gerard said after what seemed like ages, "Michael Way," Frank recognized Gerard's younger brother's name immediately, he looked in surprise at Gerard as he bent forward now and faced the man in front of him completely.

"What about him?" The man's voice was taut with anger.

"You're going to drop the allegations. You're going to give him everything you took back. If he doesn't want it, you're going to make up the difference to him." Gerard instructed.

Baker's mouth dropped open and he stared at Gerard in anger.

Gerard stood before Baker even recovered enough to reply. He buttoned his jacket as he stood up and met Baker's eyes one last time.

"You touch one hair on his body and I will end you," the threat left Gerard's mouth so easily, his voice as flat as before, but the controlled anger in the words was obvious.

It took a moment, but Baker's expression seemed to turn from angry to easy, Frank would've actually believed him weren't he noticed his trembling hands that he had pulled and hid under the table, "certainly,"

Gerard nodded once, "I'm going to wait 48 bourse to hear that he was left alone, if not—"

Baker looked up, his expression controlled, "He will be," he spoke gravely.

Gerard didn't spare Baker another look, just nodded and started walking away.

...

Frank had no idea what's just happened. He was still processing the scene he's just witnessed when Gerard started walking faster and faster from him until he was almost running away.

Frank didn't have the time to call him. Gerard had walked confidently away from the table, Baker  glaring at him. Frank stood up and followed him, he was walking very slowly at first, but then seemed to have forgotten someone was even walking with him, he just took off and went down some stairs hidden a little further away from the elevators Frank thought they were headed to. Frank followed, having a mind of just shouting Gerard's name, but having the sense of not making a scene. Frank wondered for a second how Gerard knew his way there in the first place before deciding he probably should catch up with him first.

After going down a couple of floors; Frank wasn't really sure how many they had descended, he was more focused on Gerard, the latter finally stopping to turn into a small corridor, taking off hurriedly through it again.

...

By the time Frank had finally caught up with him, Gerard had opened some door at the end of the corridor they were in, leading outside and stepped through it. Frank followed him and was taken aback for a moment that they were outside now. They were by the pool the windows they had been sitting by had a view to.

"Gerard!" He called, noticing Gerard making his way towards the pool, but the man didn't seem to hear him.

"Will you slow down?" He added, finally catching up with Gerard who finally stopped when Frank pulled him gently from his upper arm to face him.

"Frank," Gerard turned, his expression and voice startled, and Frank realized he wasn't even aware Frank's been running after him for the past few minutes. "What are you—"

"I've been following you since you took off, man." Frank spoke with a much lower voice, just noticing Gerard's glassy eyes, "what was that about?"

Gerard looked down, ashamed. When he spoke next, his voice was brittle; shaky, "I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you— I just didn't think I'd be able to do that alone, I—"

Frank's heart was melting, he cut off Gerard's rambiling, "don't worry about it," he dismissed Gerard's apology with a wave of his hand, "are you okay?"

Gerard still refused to look up, but Frank could see all the previous confident the elder shined with just a moment ago fall. He could barely detect the tiny head shack he gave.

"Gerard," Frank spoke gently, "tell me what's wrong,"

Gerard closed his eyes and a tear escaped the corner of his eye, he gave another small head shake.

Frank was quiet as he watched Gerard break before him. He had no idea what happened, for all he could know Gerard could be a bad person who bullied and blackmailed people for his own gain. After all, how much did he really know about him? But as the sight of the broken man before him shook him to the core, Frank realized he was in too deep and Gerard meant a lot to him to just walk away. He took a step closer.

"Gerard," Frank spoke as soft as he could, "I'm here, okay? I'm here. You can tell me whatever, I promise I'll listen."

Gerard didn't react and Frank was silent as he stood as close as he could to Gerard without touching him. Gerard still had his eyes closed shut, but he sighed at Frank's closeness, trembling.

A moment passed in which Frank was aware of the air brushing his overheated skin. It was a lot more cooler than it was inside the hotel, very different form the synthetic air inside. Frank breathed deeply and waited for Gerard to open his eyes.

...

"Frank?" Gerard called gently.

Frank looked at Gerard, the latter had been gazing at the intense sky blue water of the pool they had been setting by, but had his eyes on Frank now. His hair covering most of his face so Frank couldn't really see his expression clearly. He hummed in response.

Frank had finally convinced Gerard to sit a few minutes ago and he sat reluctantly in one of the scattered chairs by the pool, Frank setting across from him.

The breeze was gentle and Gerard had opened the first few buttons of his shirt, reveling white milky skin underneath, contesting strongly with the blackness of his shirt, and Frank was finding it hard not to stare. He had missed up his hair long ago, giving up on trying to keep it styled and Frank couldn't deny the relief that washed over him as the Gerard he knew started emerging from whatever mask he was trying to pull off for the past few hours.

They were completely alone and Frank briefly wondered if they were even allowed to set there, especially that they weren't even guests at the hotel. But no one's approached them to tell them not to. So Frank didn't particularly care.

"Tell me something about you," Gerard said after what seemed like ages.

Frank wanted to laugh. The request felt so odd for some reason. He's just witness Gerard blackmailing someone and then almost breaking down crying afterwords for reasons Frank had no idea of, and now the man wanted to know more about him like it was just a friendly coffee date. It felt too comically normal, but he just stared at Gerard and tried to decipher from where that question had come from instead.

"What do you want to know?"

Gerard looked down at his hands, thinking for a moment, "why did you learn guitar?"

Frank actually laughed now, the sound easily carried in the quietness of the night around them. Gerard smiled up at him and Frank felt his heart flutter.

"I think every teenager tries to learn guitar at some point. Difference is I liked it, I guess." Frank answered, "teen angst can't be expressed except through angry guitar, man."

Gerard laughed then blushed, ducking his head, "most teenagers stop at some point though, you persisted,"

Frank smiled, realizing why Gerard blushed, "so you tried it then. What happened?"

Gerard blushed a deeper red and Frank wanted to die of how adorable he was, "I sucked at it," he mumbled.

Frank giggled.

Gerard smiled, "you haven't answered though." He started again, "why did you keep at it?"

Frank sighed realizing he couldn't exactly get out of this by being a smartass. "My dad was a drummer, his father too. It was like it was destined that I had to learn music, you know?" He paused and Gerard gave a nod, "it was logical that they wanted me to learn drums, and it wasn't like I didn't want to, I got pretty good at it at some point. But then I tried guitar and I fell in love," Frank explained simply. He believed in love at first sight because that was what happened the first time he actually held the instrument. He fell in love and it was never the same.

"The persistence though probably came from teenage rebellion than anything else." He continued, "trying to show dad I could make my own decisions." He refrained from adding the extent that rebellion went to. He didn't get into anything drastic, no drugs or dangerous behaviors, but he came pretty close to hurting himself at a certain point.

Gerard was looking at the pool. He looked back at Frank. "You're too good not to play professionally though,"

Frank wanted to ask when Gerard had ever heard him play, but didn't. He felt something tug as his heart, remembering how he came close to. "Some things aren't meant to be, I guess." He managed, looking away.

Gerard looked at his hands in his lap, "do you regret it? Not pursuing it further?"

Frank thought about it for a second, "no," he answered honestly, "I feel bad about it, sure. But some things are more important. Family is more important," he nodded saying that, finding that he it was the complete truth.

Gerard nodded, eyes still down. Frank could see him physically shrinking on himself and he wanted to reach over and hold him. Make it better.

When Gerard spoke next, his voice was low, almost a whisper, but Frank listened. "When we were young, our parents put me and my brother in boarding school. I was probably nine and Mikey six."

Frank's didn't dare interrupt him. The night around them seemed to get quieter, so Gerard's low voice was carried easily in the breeze.

"Our parents," Gerard continued, "they weren't bad people. They were just busy. It took me a long time to realize that. They tried to be as a present as they could in our lives, but they still weren't there most of the time." Gerard paused for a minute, he was frowning but his mouth drew a small smile a second later, reflecting whatever thought crossing his mind.

"Back then, we didn't have a house here, but our parents made us spend school vacations here anyway, saying they didn't want us flying back and forth. They made us stay at the hotel, but they still didn't spend that much time with us," he paused, "Mikey and I would just get stuck here for weeks on end."

Frank blinked as he made the connection of how Mikey was actually Micheal Way. Mikey as in the guy who had an accident with his baby and got Gerard freaking out a few weeks ago. Instead of analyzing things further, he tried to concentrate on what Gerard was telling him.

"Mikey loved it here. He loved being away from our parents supervision. No rules and no parents or teachers to tell us what to do. I hated it. I had just been diagnosed with depression and my medications weren't working half the time. I complained over being away from my friends and stuck here. I was miserable. I just didn't understand why our parents didn't just leave us at school, like the other kids whose parents didn't want them back. I was so mad and refused to leave my room for days in a row. Mikey annoyingly didn't allow me to. He was always there, dragging me out to parties or to just hang out with his friends. He—"

"He tried to make it better," Frank whispered, encouraging Gerard to tell him more. He wanted to understand. He wanted to know what was torturing the broken man before him so much.

Gerard nodded. He held his head between his hands. "I know what I did was wrong. I know. But I've wronged so many people enough already. I needed to make at least one thing right, Frank." He was speaking to his hands, his voice sad and so brittle.

Frank wanted to tell Gerard how he didn't need to explain, did he really think Frank was going to judge him for wanting to protect his brother? He understood completely Gerard wanting to stop someone who was trying to hurt his family. Even if by blackmail.

"Gerard, do you really think I'd judge you for wanting to protect your bother?" Frank's actually wanted to laugh but had the sense not to, "I would kill anyone who would even try to touch Diana. I can't judge you trying to protect your family,"

A sob escaped Gerard and it tore at Frank's heart that he moved to set by him, he was trembling.

Frank couldn't take it any longer and he just held Gerard so that the latter had his head buried in his chest. Gerard just gave into it. He let Frank hold him and shush him gently for a few minutes.

"Gerard—" Frank began after Gerard's sobs somewhat calmed.

"No, Frank, you don't understand," he pleaded, his voice cutting through Frank's heart.

"Then help me understand," Frank tried to make his tone as gentle as possible, but he really needed to know how to make things better. His heart was breaking over how broken Gerard looked in his arms.

Gerard moved away and he wiped his face with the back of his hands, "Frank—"

"Gerard, please," Frank was the one pleading now. "Let me in, tell me."

Gerard breathed and closed his eyes and Frank had no idea how he could feel Gerard closing up again, but he could tell. Gerard's guard was getting back up. He moved further away from Franks's outstretched arms.

"Please, Frank, just drop it." Gerard voice was rough, reflecting all the crying he's done, but it was closed up too. He was closing up. 

"Gerard—" Frank tried again, but was cut off by Gerard turning his face to the other side.

"I said drop it, please," Gerard repeated almost harshly.

Frank was stunned into silence, he realized his mouth has hung open before he stood up.

"You know what?" Frank's voice was angry and he could see Gerard flinching, still not looking at him. He knew he was acting immature, letting his frustration take the best of him, but he honestly didn't know what else he was supposed to do. "You tell me these things and ask me to tell you in return. I'm trying to help. I am. But you can't ask me to be your friend, Gerard, you can't ask me to be there for you without you letting me in."

"I never asked you to be there for me," Gerard said flatly, turning sharply to look up at Frank.

Frank felt like he's just been slapped.

A minute passed while Frank just looked Gerard in the eye, feeling the humiliation of what Gerard's just said wash over him.

"Fine," Frank spoke at last and stood up. He wanted to say something else, but he couldn't stand the humiliation any longer. He just shock his head and walked away.

..

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The scene where Frank teases Gerard about the guy asking him out was inspired by one in Gilmore Girls between Lorelei and Luke. I couldn't have come up with that genus dialogue on my own. 
> 
> Please leave a comment telling me what you think.


	12. Chapter 11

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: this is a very short update. Sorry about that. A lot is going to happen next chapter and I don't want the chapter to be too long...

 

The night air bit at his face but he didn't care. He needed to be as away from there as he could.

He was mad. Oh dear God, was he mad. But the humiliation was what ate at him more, burning there at the bit of his stomach.

He had no idea where he was even going, he just took off from the hotel and turned to the first street he could find. He must've been far now, because the street he was in defiantly didn't seem like a five stars hotel belonged to it. He was getting tired too, but he supposed setting in the middle of the street wasn't going to solve anything, except getting mugged or possibly murdered.

The weird thing was how he felt how familiar this whole thing was. How many times did he have to walk the cold streets alone in the middle of the night when his aunt would kick him out of the house? It's been a couple of years but he still remembered. First time it happened, they've been living with her for two weeks when she got mad at Diana playing with her toys and talking to them. Frank "spoke back to her" which earned him a push out of the door as it was slammed in his face. His aunt screaming at him to find another place where he could stay after disrespecting its owner.

That night, Frank forgot to take his jacket with his phone in it and he had no money on him. He ended up almost freezing to death in the middle of the street, wasn't for some God sent stranger who took pity on him and asked him if he needed to call someone. He called Jamia that night and spent the night at her parents' house. They were so nice and told him he could come to their house any time. Frank did, ashamed of that as he could be, and as much as he tried not to, because he knew Diana would be all alone with their aunt those nights.

He often thought about running away from school and every little shitty thing in his life and just leave regularly back then. He and Jamia would fantasies about starting a band and living on the road with nothing on them but their clothes. But he never could leave Diana behind. He never stopped fantasizing about it though, just running away one day and calling a cap to take him as far as the money he had in his pocket could get him.

As Frank lent his back on a wall after he couldn't walk much longer, he finally realized that he could do that. Well, not the running away part, but the calling a taxi to take him anywhere he wanted, because he had the money for it for once.

"Frank!"

There was a shout and Frank cursed his mind for knowing to whom exactly it belonged to. He determinedly turned his face the other way and started walking again.

The calling never stopped, even as Frank was positive Gerard realized he was ignoring him on purpose. But Gerard was fast and Frank was tired, so he caught up with him easily.

"Frank, will you _stop_?" Gerard called as he held Frank's upper arm and turned him around.

Frank stopped and turned and sure enough Gerard was there. His appearance even more misbehaved than before, cheeks rosy possibly from the cold. He was shaking too without a jacket on. If Frank wasn't so mad he would've felt bad for making him walk all the way in the cold.

"I stopped, now what?" He snapped but tried to make his tone gentler at the last word, which only made it come out more as an angry whisper.

"The car is waiting for us by the hotel. I've called it so we can go home." Gerard replied timidly, ignoring Frank's snapping or maybe forgetting what happened between them just a few minutes ago.

"No," Frank felt like a child saying it but he didn't care. He turned back but Gerard's grip wouldn't loosen.

"Frank, don't be an ass. Let's just go back to the car," Gerard sniffed saying that and Frank wounded if it was the cold or some tears left from all the crying he's done.

Frank didn't reply this time so Gerard released him and ran his hand through his hair, sighing, "I'm not gonna be telling Diana her big brother didn't make it home because he decided to venture alone into some dark street alone in the middle of the night, okay? Just—" his tone got much gentler, "please. Let's just go _home_ ,"

Frank knew it was a low blow brining Diana into this, but that didn't mean it wasn't true. He narrowed his eyes but Gerard was avoiding his gaze so that left him with nothing but exhaling through his nose as he nodded.

...

Gerard was getting frustrated.

It wasn't like he wanted to pour his frustration into his work, but that was exactly what he was doing. He had a piece to finish and yet he couldn't concentrate. He had started with the intention of at least getting a part of it done, but he accidentally ended up just pouring all his anger into the brush strokes over the white canvas in front of him, feeling kind of resembling the one he'd get when he would start a new angry sketch when he was younger, maybe fourteen or fifteen, when he'd just go to his room after another school day filled with teasing and mean comments over his dyed hair or whatever his bullies found to mock him with that day, and just start drawing monsters and vampires and zombies; whatever scary creatures he could think of to unload his brain. His sketchbooks from back then were filled with blood and gore. He particularly loved drawing zombies eating his bullies, their insides spilling out onto the pavement.

He had never shown those drawings to anyone, he would have never heard the end of it if one of his teachers, or God forbids, parents had seen it. But that didn't make him wish the drawings wouldn't come true, that he couldn't put his bullies in the place they'd put him in, show them how name calling and being pushed into lockers or to the ground really felt like.

It wasn't as bad right now, Gerard wasn't sketching monsters and, ironically, he wasn't angry with anyone, he was angry with himself and what he had done to someone he considered a friend and possibly something more he was too scared to name at the moment. He was angry at how stupid he was to push someone who cared away because he was scared. He knew that that was what made him hurt Frank like that, it was that he was scared. He was scared that if he let someone in, _he_ 'd end up hurt.

But Frank wasn't someone. Frank cared and that made Gerard angrier with himself over how he let that go, how he let himself hurt the one person that cared enough to try and break down his walls. How he misjudged the lengths over which he could keep Frank at a distance but still close enough for comfort. Because what Gerard realized as he tried to slow down the angry black and red streaks the brush in his hand was making, was that he had been using Frank, using him for comfort, but using him nonetheless, which wasn't fair.

And he was angry because he didn't deserve it. He didn't deserve Frank's compassion or even friendship and yet when he got it he managed to blow it all away. Because he knew if Frank knew the truth about what he's done, how far gone he really was, he'd run away and never look back, he'd leave him too and then Gerard would be all alone again. Gerard could even see the look of disgust that would color his features before he'd turn away and then Gerard would break for real. Because he wouldn't be able to take it. He just knew he wouldn't be able to take Frank's rejection.

Frank wanted to help. He wanted to fix him. But dear God, he was too damaged even for Frank and all his goodheartedness to try and fix. The things he's done could never be forgiven let alone fixed.

But he needed to make one thing right, just like he's told Frank the night before. He needed to do right by someone he at least still had the chance to do right by. Someone who hadn't left yet. Someone who hadn't given up on him yet, who still didn't know how much of a terrible person Gerard really was.

The angry brush strokes finally stopped, and Gerard realize he was panting and his eyes were clouded with tears. He had no idea why he started crying or when he had even began.

Gerard finally dropped the brush from his hand and wiped his tears eyes, trying to look at the reds and blacks he's been drawing for the past couple of hours properly. He sat back with a sigh, trying to figure out how his brain came up with that from the shit stirring in it.

... 

"Gee?"

Gerard was just putting some canvases away, finally giving up on being productive for the day, when he heard Diana calling him. He smiled as he turned to her. She was standing by the door of the studio, her hand over the handle, looking timidly inside, like she wasn't sure if she was allowed in or not.

"Hey, sweetheart." Gerard replied going to the door, trying to smile.

"Can I come in?" Diana's question came in a small voice.

"Sure," Gerard smile now was real as he opened the door properly for Diana to get in.

Gerard couldn't help grinning as Diana stared at the colored canvases around her in awe. Gerard had promised himself before that he was going to show her some of his paintings. A few days ago, she's come to him and had shown him her sketchbook. Gerard knew it was a big deal for Diana to confine in him to show him. He should know.

Diana moved to the table where he has been using some acrylics he hadn't put away yet. She just stood by them and stared and Gerard chuckled, looking too scared to touch.

Diana looked at him at the sound and smiled shyly. "Are they water colors?"

Gerard came closer, "no, they're not," he shook his head as he held one of the closed plastic tubes. "It's an acrylic color, see?" He handed it to her. "It's much different than water colors. Wanna see how they work?" He asked.

Diana nodded eagerly and came closer to the rest of the tubes Gerard had spread around.

Gerard smiled and took another tube. He opened it to squeeze some of the bright red color in it on a blank white paper.

Diana's eyes widened like saucers as she looked at the thick pile of red on the paper. Gerard picked a clean brush up and spread the color around with it a little.

"It's much thicker than water colors, see?" He moved the paper closer to Diana. She looked at it in fascination. "They're much easier to paint with than water colors too, for me at least. You can paint different textures depending on how you use your brush. Here, you try,"

Diana held the brush from Gerard's hand when he handed it to her. She seemed hesitant at first but when she dipped the brush into the color and started moving it around she just kept trying until she got to the density she liked. She started moving the brush in different ways until she was satisfied with the strokes she was making.

Gerard watched with a grin as Diana became more acquainted with the colors. She seemed so excited and eager to try everything and Gerard couldn't help the joy that sparked in his heart upon seeing her excitement.

"I like them!" Diana finally declared. She grinned at the way she's managed to spread the color around.

"Know what's cooler?" Gerard said as he picked up one of the other tubes, opened it and picked out the dried paint on the lid. He handed it to Diana. "They dry like plastic, see?"

Diana picked the thick plasticky dried paint and moved it around in her fingers. "That would look so cool on a painting," she said as she examined how it shined under the lights.

Gerard smiled at the smart remark, "yup, that's why I like them. They give a wonderful glassy finish and are quick to dry too,"

...

It was getting closer to 9 pm when Diana finally got tired of trying the acrylic colors and Gerard finally managed to convince her to wash her hands, promising he'll teach her more about different types of colors later.

Diana grinned as she examined her paint splattered hands, "now they look like your hands," she giggled.

Gerard looked at his hands and saw the colors mixing together all over his fingers and palms, much like Diana. He couldn't help giggling too. He always forgot washing his hands after work and never paid attention expert if he was going out to meet someone which wasn't a regular thing obviously.

Gerard was going to put back the colors in their box when he saw a red envelop on the counter by them. He remembered vaguely that Diana was carrying it when she got in.

"D?" Gerard called Diana who was drying her hands still.

"Yeah, Gee?" Diana answered coming closer to where Gerard was standing.

"Is this yours, sweetie?" Gerard picked the envelope up, showing it to Diana.

"Yeah," Diana answered, "I'm in this play at school. It's on Friday and they told us to take invites for our families,"

Gerard's mouth hung open and he kept looking from the envelop to the little girl's smiley face.

"I already gave Frankie one and this is yours," she added when Gerard didn't reply. He didn't know what to say. He never thought—

"You're coming, right?" Diana asked timidly now, possibly taking Gerard's stunned silence for hesitation.

"Of course I'll be there," Gerard found his tongue at last and smiled trying not to let his shock appear visibly on his face, that Diana wanted him to be at her school play, that she thought of him as family.

Diana's face split in a wide smile, but she looked troubled just a second later. Gerard fell to his knees by her. "Of course, I'll be there, D. I wouldn't miss it for the world," he said with his hands on the little girl's shoulders.

"Gee, can I ask you something and you promise you won't get mad?" Diana asked after Gerard said that.

"Of course you can, sweetie. I can never get mad at you," Gerard answered genuinely.

Diana looked at the ground and Gerard was momentarily reminded of Frank, he shook his head.

"Are me and Frankie leaving here?"

Gerard felt his heart clench and his hands tensed on Diana's shoulders so he dropped them. He fought to keep his smile on, "did Frank say that?" He asked trying to keep his voice as gentle as possible.

Diana shook her head and looked up at Gerard, "he didn't. I just—" she paused like she wasn't sure what she wanted to say, "when we lived with our aunt, she would always yell at me and Frankie. I didn't like her, Gee. She would kick him out the house sometimes." Diana murmured so quietly that Gerard almost hadn't heard her, "when we left the first time Frank said we weren't going to stay with someone always yelling at us."

Gerard was speechless and Dina added, "you don't yell. You're nice and I like you. I don't wanna leave here, Gee."

Gerard felt his heart break, "honey, no one is leaving," he lent back and stayed at the same level as Diana, "Frank works here, okay? You two have a right to stay here, and I— I like you two being here too. Unless you don't, I never want you to leave."

Gerard didn't know what he was expecting, but Diana hugging him tightly defiantly wasn't one of them. She circled his neck tightly with her small arms, "I don't wanna leave here either,"

Gerard smiled against Diana's hair and let a small prayer to whatever God out there for that to never happen. Because, dear God, he had no idea what he was going to do if Diana or Frank actually decided to leave him. He wouldn't be able to survive on his own again.

He needed to fix whatever he screwed up with his relationship with Frank and he needed to do it now.

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please leave a comment telling me what you think? Thank you


	13. Chapter 12

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: sorry this chapter is late. I got half way through then deleted the whole thing because it was crap basically.

 

The house was so eerie silent that evening when Gerard finally made his way home. He knew Diana must've been sleeping but since he and Frank became friends, Gerard would always find him somewhere; watching tv, eating a snack in the kitchen or even just walking randomly around. They'd talk or watch whatever Frank was watching or Frank would sometimes convince Gerard to even ingest something other than coffee.

Gerard didn't know if he should question the silence, or if he would _take_ questioning it anyway. Frank had finished working long ago and left without a single word to him. It's been like that for a while now. Frank would only speak to him whenever it was work related and only then, their relationship almost going back to their initial one when Frank first moved in. So that evening when Gerard finally made it home, physically exhausted and emotionally drained, his heart almost fell from his chest when he heard Frank's scream.

"SOMEONE GET OVER HERE!"

Before he knew it, Gerard was running to his office where Frank's voice was clearly coming from.

"Frank?" He called in panic, trying to determine where the former's voice was coming from. As a response to his calling, the door to his office opened and Frank was through it. He seemed startled to see Gerard, like he wasn't expecting the latter to be in the house.

Gerard's eyes skimmed over Frank in panic, trying to make sure he was alright, and when he didn't find any missing limbs, his eyes came back to Frank's face whose expression changed from startled to upset.

"There's a spider in there and you need to get it out! _NOW_!" Frank all but shouted angrily.

Gerard stared for a second and he blinked before he said, "what?" His question held barely hidden laughter.

Frank gritted his teeth so his next words came out through them, explaining, "I was in your office trying to put some mail in there and there was a spider,"

Gerard stared for a second and he couldn't help the fit of giggles that over took him. Frank turned completely red as Gerard's giggles turned to full on laughter. 

"This is very serious," Frank said but Gerard could see the corners of his eyes wrinkling.

"I'm sure," Gerard said, stopping his laughter, only leaving a grin on his face, "you live alone with a kid for two years and you can't kill a spider?" Gerard couldn't help teasing, the way Frank was blushing while still angry was so adorable.

"I have arachnophobia and if you're going to be like this I'll—"

"Call Diana to kill it?"

Frank narrowed his eyes and pursed his lips.

Gerard smiled, "I'll do it," saying that, he made a move to the door and was about to open it, but Frank's hand was on his shoulder and he froze.

"Wait," Frank said and Gerard turned to look at him as he his hair behind his ear, "don't kill it, okay? Just use this and release it somewhere," his voice was low and he was avoiding Gerard's eyes.

Gerard's smile grew wider as he nodded and took the magazine Frank handed to him. He opened the door and went into the room.

...

Frank was sitting on a chair in the kitchen, holding one leg to his chest with his chin resting on his knee, watching the back door that led to the garden when Gerard was finally through it. The latter put the magazine he was carrying on the kitchen table, he stared in surprise at Frank sitting there.

"All done," he said when Frank didn't say anything. He stood there by the table like he didn't know what he was supposed to do.

Frank nodded and pushed his hair out of his face, "thanks," he said. He had no idea why he was even there, so when Gerard only nodded and turned around to get out, Frank still had no idea why he just called him.

"Gerard?"

Gerard stopped and turned back slowly, "yeah?"

Frank's eyes fell from Gerard's and he cleared his throat before he answered, "Lindsey called,"

Gerard put his hands in the pockets of his hoodie, "oh?"

"Yeah, something about a gallery? She says you know what she is talking about and that I just needed to remind you so that you wouldn't say you forgot," Frank continued.

Gerard actually winced at that and scratched his head, "she said that?" Frank nodded and Gerard just sighed, "I guess we're going to her gallery then," he announced, "it's this Monday, right?"

Frank nodded and almost laughed at how physically in pain Gerard looked over the idea of leaving the house for any kind of social interaction, but settled on a small smile he was kind of sure was hidden behind his knee. Gerard ran his hand through his hair multiple times before he nodded to himself like that was that, and attempted to leave the kitchen for the second time, before Frank stopped him for the second time as well.

"You going to Diana's play?" Frank wanted to smack himself on the head. Fuck, was he that desperate for Gerard to talk to him?

"Yeah. She asked me," Gerard explained.

Frank nodded, "it's this Friday," he said, unnecessarily.

"I know," Gerard replied, quietly. He nodded to himself once when Frank didn't say anything else and left the kitchen.

...

Frank was shaking hands with one of Diana's teachers when he noticed him.

Diana's play had ended a few minutes earlier but Frank hadn't seen Gerard since he arrived. He determinedly left the house without checking with him and took a cab to Diana's school to arrive only a few minutes before the play had started, so he didn't even get to meet anyone before the lights were turned off, let alone see if Gerard had made it

Now, and as Frank smiled and nodded to the teacher as she praised Diana, but complained of her hyperactivity sometimes, he could see Gerard standing awkwardly to the far back, looking around himself warily like he had no idea what he supposed to be doing with himself.

Diana had taken off with one of her friends to say goodbye to everyone, so when her teacher finally moved from Frank to some parent, Frank found himself staring at Gerard standing awkwardly by the snacks table.

Frank was moving towards before he knew it.

"Hey," Frank greeted.

"Hi," Gerard's eyes lit but the smile he tried to give fell and he opted to scratch the back of his neck instead, looking down.

"Diana's saying goodbye to her friends but she should be here any second now," Gerard nodded at that and took a sip from his cup of what looked like was lemonade. Frank thought how miserable he looked and how he did make the effort to leave the house with how uncomfortable he got around people, and he had come to watch Diana when he didn't have to, so Frank reckoned that that was why the next words came out of his mouth, "I'm taking her to get ice cream after, would you like to come?"

Gerard's eyebrows shot up and he seemed startled, "I would love to,"

Frank nodded and was thankful to whatever entity watching over them that Diana chose that second to come over, announcing that she was ready for her ice cream, because he had no idea what he was going to say to the awkward man standing before him.

...

"Oh stop looking at him like that," Lindsey literally rolled her eyes saying that, causing Gerard's eyes to snap back to her from where he was watching Frank examining some of Lindsey's artwork in the opposite side of the room.

"Like what?" Gerard was really confused, he's just lost Frank once they stepped foot into the gallery and he's just found him, what was wrong with that?

"Like he's about to give you a lap dance," Lindsey said, deadpan.

Gerard chocked on his own saliva while Lindsey just rolled her eyes again and shook her head. Gerard knew that look, it was her look of knowing exactly what was going on, how Gerard was acting like an idiot (maybe not acting as to actually _being_ an idiot) and how she really didn't have time for this as she worried on her fingers anxiously waiting for the critics that were surely going to dissect her art in the newspapers the next day.

Or Gerard just knew his best friend too well to decipher her thoughts from rolling her eyes.

"Don't be ridiculous," he knew he didn't even sound convincing enough but he could try.

Lindsey now just chuckled and somewhere in his head, even fully knowing that his best friend was currently laughing at him, Gerard was still glad he managed to make her smile.

"So I'm being ridiculous, ha?" she took a glass of red wine from the trays passed around and drowned half of it before Gerard even had the time to react, "come on, don't look too surprised, the cliché romance of the boss and the employee? You two are the embodiment of that, Gee. You're so obvious, and from the way he's been eyeing you all night at that wedding, I'd say it's mutual,"

Gerard was about to comment how that was the fault of Danielle Steel, and every romantic novel writer ever, really that office romance became such a cliché anyway and how he totally can read Danielle Steel because he was a man comfortable with his sexuality, not that Lindsey would call him up on that, instead the question just blurted out, "he was eyeing _me_?"

Lindsey actually gave him a look at that and Gerard was reminded once again how anxious Lindsey was really not the one you should go to for advice, romantic or otherwise, and especially while she was practically bouncing around him, trying to see if she could spot any critics around.

He would tell her to stop worrying, but he knew it was of no use, and this was exactly why Gerard hated going to art galleries, granted he hated all social gatherings, but galleries he hated the most, especially his, but other people he admired came closely second, because it wasn't like he wasn't going to read about it the next day in newspapers and get upset about it then. And once again, he was so thankful that he hand't made his appearance regular at these things, coming on the first day was surely going to get the word out, but when those vulture journalists would finally catch up with him, he would never set another foot in the place again.

"Hey, Lin?" Gerard called Lindsey who was still looking around.

"huh?"

"Listen, can we talk, later I mean?" Gerard tried not to sound too troubled but Lindsey must've seen something in his eyes because she just nodded.

"Is everything okay?" She asked, her voice careful.

Gerard nodded, "yeah, I just- I just want to talk to you. It's been a while since we did,"

"Sure," she nodded, "first I gotta get through this day without passing out or killing someone,"

Gerard chuckled, "you got this. You're good and your art is good. I'm not worried and you shouldn't be. Don't let those assholes get you down, okay?" No matter how many times Lindsey had had held art galleries Gerard had always recited some form of that speech to her, but he didn't mind. He believed what he said.

Lindsey nodded and smiled before taking a deep breath. She moved around him to go greet more people who just arrived.

...

Frank wasn't acting like a grumpy four year old, but he wished he could.

The gallery was magnificent and although he didn't get much of Lindsey's work, he appreciated it. He had long ago reached the conclusion that art wasn't supposed to be understood or dissected, it was supposed to make you feel. If it did that and even if you didn't understand it, it had done its job.

Anyway, Frank wasn't only appreciating the art all around him, he was also stupidly, but stubbornly, avoiding none other than Gerard Way. So after looking at everything in the gallery, he logically ended up in Lindsey's parents' house storage-garage as Lindsey had held her gallery there.

No one had stopped him form going in there and he wondered if guests were allowed to be there in the first place. Most probably they weren't, but he wasn't about to go back there and see Gerard just a few feet away from him talking and smiling to people.

It wasn't like Gerard was actively trying to avoid him, but Frank still held his grounds and refused to even acknowledge the former. What bothered him was that he had no idea why he was even doing any of that, it wasn't like he was mad at him. At least, he didn't feel like he was mad. He just had no idea what he felt anymore and it frustrated him to no end.

They hadn't really talked since that night at the hotel. Gerard didn't bring it up and Frank pretended that the weeks they spent getting to know each other hadn't even happened. He hated that. He liked the friendship he had with Gerard, he did, but he wasn't sure how he was supposed to stay friends with someone who frankly pushed him away when he was trying to help. He wondered if he should apologize for trying to push Gerard to talk to him, but he wasn't sorry he wanted to help. He wasn't sorry he wanted to be Gerard's friend.

"So I take it you like the gallery?"

Frank jumped from where he sat on some cartoon boxes as he heard that. He only thought how he really didn't want to be busted snooping around by Lindsey's parents, but he looked up to see the woman herself smiling to him, holding a glass of wine as she just sat beside him. Frank hadn't really seen her since they arrived when he had said hi hurriedly before disappearing. Now that he could really see her, Frank couldn't help thinking how much she looked awesomely like Morticia Addams with a long black dress and black leather gloves that got past her elbows. He was only happy she didn't seem mad.

"Me and alcohol in my parents' garage, man, this brings back so many high school memories," Lindsey laughed like she wasn't aware of Frank freezing beside her.

Frank felt his face heat up, "uh, actually, I was-"

Lindsey waved her hand, "don't worry about it, whatever you were thinking about must've been troubling that you needed to get out of there,"

Frank tried not to roll his eyes at how troubling was an understatement, "Sorry, I just wanted to be alone for a few minutes," he lied; try hours, "but I really do like your art. Not that I get much of it, but it's interesting,"

Lindsey smiled, "thank you," she put her glass somewhere by her feet and looked at Frank for a moment, "don't underestimate yourself, though. I've seen your photographs, you have a good eye for these things,"

Frank smiled at that, "thanks," he replied, "photography is different though. Art is- I mean you're basically making something from scratch here," he argued and pointed at a painting he's just seen laid to the right of where they were sitting. He looked at it as the colors caught his eye. The whole thing wasn't very comprehensible, but the way the colors swirled together and the face of the girl in the corner that was covered with a sheer black veil, covering features that looked like a person drowning. He didn't get it, but he got the feeling. It felt like drowning, it felt like it conveyed the feeling in that minute after you were told your whole life has been wrecked to pieces and you still hadn't realized it yet, but you could feel it. You could tell it in your bones that everything was about to change forever.

And even though Frank felt that horrible feeling sink into his bones, reminding him of things he desperately wanted to forget. In the mix of all of that, he was still blown away by how beautiful the painting was. How beautiful the debilitating sadness in it felt.

Frank realized he hadn't said anything for a while and he looked back at Lindsey who was just staring at him.

"It's called The Human Condition," she told him. She stared with him at the painting like she's just seen it, "it was painted it in a really bad time. I guess we can always look forward to the art and music that come out of hard times, can't we?"

Frank could easily tell the sadness that laced Lindsey's tone. They were both silent for a minute.

"It's not mine, by the way," Lindsey spoke quietly to Frank as she made her way up away from where she was sitting. She patted him on the shoulder as she said, "It's Gerard's."

...

Gerard fought the urge to just call Frank and go home.

So far, he had spent almost the whole day in a social gathering and it was draining him, the introvert in him screaming at him to just go home and hide in his studio or the library. He didn't think he was even capable of any more small talk and he couldn't even hide behind Lindsey who had to actually talk to other people since it was her gallery and couldn't possibly babysit her best friend all day.

Admittedly, he liked the gallery, not that he expected anything less from Lindsey at this point. She was talented like that but he was still amazed of how creative she could be, so that was what he was doing when he saw him and he froze.

Gerard had no idea what he was even doing there. He hadn't heard from him in months and now he was there, here, in Lindsey's art gallery, feet away from where Frank has been standing earlier.

Suddenly, Gerard's urge to go home tripled and he was about to turn around and tell Frank they were going home and apologize quickly to Lindsey before leaving, promising her he'd make it up to her later. That was, at least, before said man turned and a smirk colored his features as he spotted Gerard across the room. He didn't know why, but Gerard thanked his lucky stars Frank had disappeared somewhere before any of that happened, he had no idea what introductions he was going to make if Frank met him.

"Gerard Way!"

Gerard tried not to wince on the way his name left his lips and he waved a little at the tall man with the greasy long dirty blonde hair. Gerard thought about how he didn't seem to have changed one little bit, not that a few months on tour can change a person's appearance that much, but he felt like it's been much, much longer since he's last seen Blake, since that cursed night. Gerard tried to smile lightly, but he was half sure it was more of a grimace at that point.

Not that Gerard's expression seemed to matter to Blake who crossed the few feet separating them and stood before him, smirk still on and Gerard wondered how he could have ever found that attractive before.

...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: "At least, we can always look forward to the art and music that come out of hard times," is an actual quote by Lindsey Way, she's tweeted it a while ago. It is possibly my favorite quote by her.
> 
> Please comment telling me what you think of the chapter? Thank you <3


	14. Chapter 13

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Just to be clear, in my country, drinking age is 18 not 21 like the states, so I might've mixed things up and made Frank underage drink when I didn't mean to? Sorry about that, the reason I'm mentioning this, though, is this kinda happens later in the story too, so, sorry for the inconvenience.
> 
> Let's just pretend they lowered the drinking age to 18 in the states like the rest of the universe, okay? Great :D

 

 

Frank was sure someone was holding a hammer and was just banging it on the wall next to his head.

Something was bounding and if the house wasn't on fire, he was not leaving this bed for whatever was happeneing.

He took his pillow and covered his head with it.

"Frankie!" He could hear Diana's voice calling him and he vaguely realized she was the thing jumping on his bed.

"Frankie! Get up!"

Frank groaned and thought how he really didn't want to open his eyes yet and how it he couldn't have cared less if he slept through morning because he would actually die if he got up that second. He vaguely remembered how it was a Saturday and just wished the jumping to just stop.

All Frank managed to do, however, was cover his head with his blankets over his pillow as Diana kept calling him over and over again. He didn't have the mental capacity to think how weird it was that Diana, whom he had to drag from her bed every morning for school, was now fully awake and jumping practically on his head, _on a weekend_. He didn't even have the strength to tell her to stop.

"Just five more minutes," Frank managed, mumbling, when Diana kept on calling him.

"Frankie! It's your birthday! Get up!" Diana called again.

Frank tried to gather enough energy to think how impossible that was. It certainly wasn't Halloween yet, was it? It was still early October, right?

He raised his head up and sat in bed, giving up on getting any more sleep.

Diana, seeing her bother finally sat up, jumped on him and was hugging him fiercely before Frank could even think what she was doing.

"Happy birthday, Frankie!" She shouted and kissed him on his cheek. Frank giggled and hugged her back, his morning grumpiness disappearing upon seeing her excitement.

How did he even manage to miss that? Halloween. His own fucking birthday. He had no idea how that happened (he had a desk job for goodness sake, he should know what date it was). He blamed it on the lack of festivities around. Before, when he had multiple jobs he had to be at every day, he couldn't possibly miss it because the whole city would be covered in Halloween decorations. Now, and since he was stuck behind a desk for most of the day, he hadn't paid attention to anything.

Diana however hadn't forgotten apparently. He was just thankful he hadn't forgotten her costume. He had bought it weeks ago. She had been saying she wanted to be Hermione Granger that year since they had gotten to the _it's_ _Winggardium Levi-O-sa_ moment while reading the first book. So Frank made sure to buy her the custom the minute he got his first paycheck so he wouldn't forget. So technically he had nothing to worry about. Still, his own fucking twentieth birthday? _Man_.

Eventually, Frank finally made it out of his room after he actually managed to tell Diana he needed to shower before they could start celebrating. Once he stepped out of his room to the living room, she went straight to him and gave him her gift; a handmade birthday card that was so sweet and adorable, covered in Jack-o'-lantern's smiling wickedly, but that was defiantly not made by her alone.

"Gee helped me make it!" Diana answered when he asked her how she got the acrylic colors it was drawn with, and Frank just nodded at that, trying not to let Gerard's mood swings and cryptic behavior ruin his birthday and his favorite holiday. After putting the card away, he told Diana to get dressed because they were going out. He didn't know where but he was defiantly not spending the holiday stuck in that cold, big house.

...

Lindsey was silent as Gerard told her everything. She listened to him carefully. He's told her about Frank and how he wreaked havoc into his life from the moment he stepped into his office that day he first started working there. Lindsey had suspected the attraction between them before, but she didn't know just the extent to which it got. The way Gerard talked about the man wasn't just a passing crush either.

They had met for coffee to talk as Gerard had promised they would since he's got to leave her gallery early that day. They agreed to meet at a Starbucks just a few streets away from his house so he wouldn't have to drive.

When Gerard was done, she just looked at him with all the love and sympathy she had for her friend. "Oh, Gee," She said just a second later, placing her hand over his and squeezing it. She's never seen her best friend so heart broken in a really long time. She felt guilty with herself for not noticing before.

"No, Lin, it was my mistake. I know. Believe me, I do." He said that to his coffee, not meeting her eyes, "I hurt him," he said that so quietly then looked up, clearly ashamed, "and I want to fix it. I do. The problem is I don't know how. How to make him trust me again. I was so scared when he asked me to tell him. What if he just leaves, Lynz? What if he just decides I'm too much?" Gerard was panicking, but Lindsey let him. He needed to get everything out before she said what she's got.

"I don't even know if he _wants_ me to fix it. For all I know, he's still here 'cause of his job. He hadn't even said a word to me since then—"

"He hadn't?" Lindsey cut him off, surprised.

Gerard blinked and put his hair behind his ear,"well, he had, but—"

"He'll forgive you," She cut him off again, she couldn't have mistaken what she's seen in Frank's eyes when he looked at Gerard, and she kind of had a gut feeling Frank wouldn't turn his back on Gerard, and Lindsey's gut feelings were always right.

"Lynz, it is not that easy. You didn't see the way he was looking at me. I _hurt_ him," Gerard tried again.

Lindsey shook her head. She knew what she saw and she needed to make Gerard see it too. Gerard was so good at guilt tripping himself that he tended not see the bigger picture a lot if the time. She had to stop him from doing it now. Sure, he hurt Frank, but it was a fixable problem, Gerard just tended to not see that at times, overdramatizing things.

"Gee, I've seen the way he looks at you and I've heard the way he talks about you. From what've you're told me and even, and I personally don't think that, he doesn't have feelings for you. He still cares. He still wants to be your friend. He doesn't sound like the type of person who would reject an apology just—"

"What if he accepts it and just leaves?" Gerard cut his friend off. Lindsey knew that Gerard was overreacting and she could sense he knew too, but he trusted her and he wouldn't have told her all of that if he didn't. She just didn't know how to make him see things clearly.

"Maybe I should just let us back to being whatever we were," he finally said, looking away.

"Now you're just being ridiculous, Gee," Lindsey sighed now, causing the miserable man to look at her. She sighed again, "listen," she decided to be clear and say her mind.

_Maybe now Gerard would finally listen to the sound of reason._

"Gerard, we've been friends for years now. When you decided to leave everything and isolate yourself in that damn house, I let you do it 'cause I thought maybe some time off of everything would make you see things clearly, but it clearly has not. It's clouding your head further and if she saw you right now, I grantee you Anna would be miserable." Gerard looked up sharply at her at that, but she ignored him, going on, "she was my best friend, Gerard. I think I would know what she'd think, and I know this, you need to move on. I'm not asking you to fix things with Mikey, not yet least. But as a first step, I'm just telling you to go home, find Frank and make him listen. Apologize to him. You don't have to tell him everything, just let him in, Gee. He'll understand that you're scared. If he cares about enough, he'll listen." Lindsey's voice turned more and more sympathetic as she went on and could see the hurt look on Gerard's face, but she didn't regret what she said. If anything, she knew she should have said that a long time ago.

If Lindsey knew anything, it was that Gerard had locked himself away from the rest of the world for long enough. She cared about him enough to see how it wasn't fixing anything. It just stopped him from seeing that the world went on and didn't stop because of his troubles, and if she needed to force him to see that, then she'd do it.

The time of her standing to the side, seeing her best friend ending his life at twenty-four by locking himself away wasn't something she was going to let happen without a fight.

...

"Diana! Slow down!"

Frank shouted unenthusiastically. You'd think he'd be a little more worried about his little sister running around on Halloween Eve, but, believe it or not, he must've called a variation of that sentence at least seventy-five times that evening since they left the house with no use, Diana kept jumping around from house to house and street to street without any signs of exhaustion. All it resulted with was him being exhausted and that really said something.

Frank and Diana had spent the day together. They went to the movies for the first time in forever and had lunch in a fancy restaurant before Frank took her to the park. Frank couldn't even remember a day they had spent together like that, just them. It was the perfect birthday.

Jamia had called and so did James. Jamia saying she owned him a big birthday party once she was home from tour, and James saying he was taking Frank for drinks as a celebration tomorrow's night since the band had a big gig that night. So Frank really just wanted that night to end so he could go home and sleep. He cringed mentally at his thoughts. Jesus, Iero, you're turning twenty not forty. But he didn't care, he just had the perfect day with his sister and he wouldn't replace it for anything.

By the time Frank made it to Diana, she had already gotten to another house and knocked. He sighed and stood aside, kind of glad that Gerard's house was in a somewhat rich neighborhood where he didn't have to worry much about Diana getting out of his sight.

The elderly couple in the house waved to Frank as they closed the door, Frank waved back and looked at Diana jumping back to him with a big grin, clearly happy with the amount of candy she's got.

Just as Frank was about to tell Diana maybe hey had to call it a night, his phone rang and he made sure to tell Diana to stand still before he picked it up and saw it was James. He frowned and checked his watch, wasn't the band's gig about to start in like a couple of hours?

"Frank, man, hey." James said once he answered, letting a sigh of relief.

"Dweess, can't go onstage without calling me first?" Frank teased.

"I wish, Iero, but no, I actually kinda need to ask favor." He said, a little uneasy.

"Sure, man. What is it?" Frank said a little worried now.

"Uhh, well, Taylor kinda broke his arm."

"What?"

"He broke his arm," James repeated with a sigh.

"How? When?" Frank frowned. He talked with James just that afternoon, everything was fine by then.

James just sighed again, "a couple of hours ago actually. He's fine, we got him to the hospital and they put his arm in cast." James paused, "Frank, we need you, man."

Frank was confused; surely James didn't mean— "James, you're not—"

"Frank, you know half our songs already. We can switch the setlist around to play things you know, a couple of covers and we'll make it work." James spoke quickly, clearly having thought about it already.

"James, you're not serious. I haven't played with you guys in _months_. I'll screw it up, man." James clearly hadn't thought this through. Frank hadn't played any of their songs in months.

"Frank, we need you. There are label people here, man. We can't blow this up. You're the best thing we can find and I know you can do it. You're too good not to. Don't make me beg you."

Frank sighed, already giving in to his best friend's pleading, "fine. Aren't you guys on though in like two hours or something?"

"Frank, thank you! I owe you, we all do!"   
James' voice turned cheerful and Frank could hear his sigh of relief in the phone before he replied, "and don't worry, the venue guys agreed to push us a couple of hours. So we are actually on in four hours and thirty minutes, how long do you need to get here?"

Frank scratched his head before sighing, "give me twenty minutes," he said and hung up on his friend.

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please tell me if you like where the plot is heading? I planned it a long time ago but I'm feeling unsure now that I'm writing it.
> 
> Oh, by the way, next chapter is going to have one of my most favorite scenes (some heartache too but still). I'm so excited for you guys to read it!


	15. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so sorry this is late. I've been away for the past week for the holidays and didn't get to update.
> 
> Hope your holidays were better than mine. This chapter took a lot of me to write. A lot happens so enjoy!

 

The house felt strange.

Frank didn't know why, or how, he felt it, but the second he stepped in and Diana just ran in with her bag full of candy to the stairs, he felt like something was off. It felt too silent for his liking, not that the damn house has ever been life-filled anyway, but the wind had picked up a while ago while they made their way home and now, with all the silence, the house was making these weird noises and Frank didn’t like it.

It might have had something with it being Halloween and all but he couldn’t shake the feeling off. He had no idea he just noticed how big the damn house was, with its odd drifts of winds that would come around from god knows where and close doors or make the hair on the back of his neck stand up.

The place was silent enough as Frank just stared, he tried to shake the feeling off and go change because he didn’t want to make the guys wait, but he still felt weird, like that point you get to watching a horror movie where you know something is about to happen but you have no idea what. Still, you know it’s there.

So, logicly, Frank made his way to the source of the cold drift that was just making the air on the back of his neck stand up. He realized he’s made it to the kitchen before seeing it was the kitchen’s back door that, for some reason, has been left open.

When he stepped outside however, he was in for another surprise; a giggle made him freeze in place. He looked around before his eyes settled on the roof of the small room connected to the kitchen from outside, making its roof way lower than the rest of the house. Frank’s always assumed it was built later for the garden supplies or something. The lights around didn’t make the figure clear, and it took him a moment but he could clearly see it was definitely Gerard there, sitting on the roof, legs dangling down.

“Okay there, Frankie?” Gerard’s voice sounded like he was barely suppressing a laugh.

Frank just came closer, “are you _crazy_?! How did you even get up there?!” He shouted up at the brown haired man who just looked like he was smiling at him.

“The ladder,” he called back with a shrug like it explained everything, “come up here,” he added a moment later when Frank just stared back at him.

Frank debated telling him he had somewhere he needed to be and that he couldn’t just sit on the roof in the cold, but Gerard was smiling in a way he hadn’t seen in days and he reckoned a few minutes sitting with him wouldn’t hurt.

A minute later of Frank trying to find out how Gerard had even made it up there, he found a small ladder by the wall to climb on. He made it up and he came carefully closer to Gerard who wasn’t even looking at him but at the garden down from them.

“Whoa,” Frank was saying before he could stop himself. They could see most of the neighborhood from up there; the roof being so close to the walls that didn’t have any of the garden trees covering them from up there. Frank could see almost all the houses around, most having their Halloween decorations lit. It looked amazing.

“Wait till you see it on Christmas,” Gerard said from where he was looking up at Frank with an easy smile, “sit. It looks better sitting,” he added looking back down and patting the spot next to him.

“Uh, I actually have to—” he started but cut himself off when Gerard looked up at him and his stupid heart fluttered. How could he ever say no to the man?

"Sit with me for a few minutes?" Gerard asked quietly, looking up again.

Frank sat. It wasn’t like he could say no to the puppy eyes Gerard was giving him anyway.

“So you just come up here on holidays to look at other people’s decorations?” Frank said after a moment of silence, trying to prompt Gerard to explain.

Instead of answering, however, Gerard just nodded absentmindedly before turning sharply to look at Frank. He looked serious for a second, all the smiling from earlier gone from his face.

“I’m sorry,”

It came out quietly, but Frank heard it perfectly in the cold breeze around them that seemed too still for a second, except for his breath that he was very aware of at the moment. He didn’t know why his heart just decided to kick in at that very moment, but he could feel it going into overdrive. It was ridiculous really and it was just an apology, but it had caught him off guard. Maybe it had to do with the look Gerard was giving him or the fact that he's just realized how easy it would be for him to forgive Gerard for anything, even kicking a puppy.

“Ger—” he started, voice slightly hoarse that it surprised him, not even knowing where he was going with it, but Gerard cut him off.

“Please, listen to me for a minute?” Gerard’s voice was still quiet but now it was small that it ate at Frank’s heart. He snapped his mouth shut and nodded.

Gerard’s composure seemed to drop at that point, like he didn’t think he’d make it that far into talking to him. He looked down and ran his hand through his hair before tugging it behind his ear.

“I _thought_ —” he chuckled to himself before looking back up with his small crooked smile that has always made Frank’s stomach do flips, “I thought about a hundred ways I could possibly apologize to you,”   
Frank blinked, taken aback.

Gerard was looking at his hands now, speaking to them, “I thought about giving you that stupid painting I made when I— when I didn’t know why I felt so bad about shutting you out,” his voice was getting quieter before stopping completely and he looked up at Frank shyly, like he was embarrassed of what he was about to say next, “I thought about throwing you a birthday party, until I realized I have no idea who your friends are or who you'd want to invite... then I thought about how the reason you are mad at me is because I wouldn't be a friend to you in return.” He paused and his eyes turned so pleading that Frank wanted to cry.

Gerard took a deep breath before continuing, “I was scared, Frank. I am scared, that I'd get hurt, but I have never been happier when you were my friend. I screwed it up and I'm sorry. I could think of a hundred ways to make it up to you, but it wouldn't say how sorry I am I took you for granted.”

Frank stayed silent for a few seconds, waiting for Gerard to continue if he wanted, but when he didn’t, he cleared his throat before he asked, “can I talk now?

“Sure,” Gerard nodded, still twisting his hands in his lap.

“You were a jerk,”

The sentence left Frank’s mouth before he could stop it and he winced at how Gerard seemed to physically shrink on himself, instantly dropping his eyes.

“I was a jerk too,” he quickly added, causing the former’s eyes to rise up to meet his again, “I said I wanted to be your friend and then I bailed on you because you wouldn't tell me why you were sad. That is not what friends do. Friends stick with you through thick and thin and are patient. They help even if it meant they have to play a song they haven't played in months in front of hundreds of people, humiliating themselves and looking ridiculous,”

Gerard looked confused for a second before a small smile tugged at the corner of his lips.

Frank smiled back and waved his hand, “long story,” he dismissed, rolling his eyes.

Gerard smiled, “so you forgive me?” his question was quiet and unsure and Frank wanted to laugh.

“How can I not, Gee?”

Gerard smiled as he brought his hand to cover the shorter boy’s hand before he could protest. His hands were warm, that was the first thing Frank noticed and he just looked down and then up, “good,” he said, beating him to talk. Frank was just confused now, “it’s good because I was thinking since the friends thing wasn't working out very well with us. I don't want to be friends anymore.”

Frank blinked and his smile fell “what? I—”

Gerard looked at their hands and spoke next, “I don't want to be friends because friends aren't supposed to have feelings for each other and I— I have feelings for you, Frankie.”

Frank’s mouth hung open before he could stop it. He never thought, “Gee—”

“I’m being an idiot, I know and if you don’t, then I just screwed things up again and I-” he winced and squeezed their hands together, he chuckled nervously, “I really hope you do too, Frankie,”

Frank was laughing before he knew it, he ran his hand through his hair, “I had a list of reasons why my stupid crush on you was inappropriate, now I can't think of one.” he confessed.

“You— you have a crush on me? “ Gerard repeated, looking at him like he’s just grew another head.

Frank smirked and brought his other hand to brush the hair that fell over Gerard's blushing face. He was still staring at him like he wasn't real, like he couldn't believe any of this was real. Frank's smirk turned into a smile and he held Gerard's face in his hand.

“If you’re not planning on freaking out any more can I kiss you now?” he asked quietly and didn’t wait for an answer, leaning in and closing the distance between them, finally kissing the corner of Gerard's mouth and then his slightly opened lips.

Gerard was frozen at first, but quickly kissed back, his hands going to Frank's shoulders to bring him closer. Frank smiled against the kiss when he felt Gerard's smile and kissed the corner of that redicoulsy crooked smile that he loved.

Gerard was the one who now deepened the kiss, dipping his tongue into the other’s mouth, teasing and tasting Frank's tongue, and, dear God, Frank wanted to stay there forever, but some idiotic part of his brain was reminding him of how he needed to leave that very second if he wanted to make it to the stupid gig.

He moved slightly back, forehead resting against Gerard's who still had his eyes closed.

“I need to go,” Frank breathed with his eyes closed. He opened them just in the moment to see Gerard’s snap open and the disappointment to settle in them.  
“Oh,”

Frank held Gerard’s face in his hands again, stopping him from looking away, “no, I mean, the guys—the band, they're waiting for me. Their guitarist, he broke his arm and they need me to play instead,”

Gerard blinked and nodded, “okay,”

Frank smiled and touched Gerard’s lips with his thumb. “We'll talk when I get back?” He didn't mean for it to sound like a question, but it came out like that anyway.

Gerard smiled back and held Frank’s hand, intertwining their fingers together.

“We will,”

...

Frank couldn't believe he just did that.

He couldn't believe he went out and left Gerard after all that. They had gone down from that stupid roof together and Gerard walked him to the door, all the time holding his hand in his. They were both smiling like idiots all the way. Both holding to each other like they wouldn't see each other again in years.

They didn't say anything else and kissed again by the door where Frank promised he was going to make it home as fast as he could, smiling to Gerard stupid grin.

Frank tried not to smack himself on the head to stop his brain from inventing scenarios he could tell the guys to why he couldn't make it. All he wanted at the moment was to go back there and just stay, maybe kiss Gerard into forever, but just stay near him really.

The place was packed when he got there. Frank hadn't realized how far the band has made it since he's left. The last time he's played with them, the most they had was an audience of maybe fifty people max, now there were definitely more than a couple of hundreds people.

He supposed it would have gone to this eventually. The guys were good and he couldn't blame people for liking them. He tried to push any thoughts of Gerard out of his head as he greeted them backstage, where James was comically worrying in his fingers as Frank made his way to him.

Frank tried not to look too happy and look apologetic enough being late, even though he couldn't stop smiling since that kiss, his thoughts snapping back to the adorable pout that was on Gerard's lips when Frank left after their second kiss by the door.

The preparations for the gig went by smoothly. Frank tried not to fuck up too much. The guys decided to only play the songs Frank had been there when they wrote. Still, Frank couldn't remember everything correctly, (even though he fucking co-wrote most of them), but eventually they made it work. They added a couple of covers Frank knew by heart and the hours seemed to fly by. Frank's fingers were threatening to cramp but he willed them not to, at least till the gig was done. He thanked his lucky stars the whole thing was going to be less than half an hour.

…

So that was definitely not how Gerard thought his night was going to end.

Sure, he had planned on apologizing to Frank and it went better than he had expected. It went better than he had dreamed actually. Frank's forgiven him as Lindsey's predicted, but for him to have similar feelings as his? He was still trying to wrap his head around it, smiling to himself as he made himself some coffee, trying to find something to busy his jittery hands with.

Diana has gone to sleep about an hour ago which is a record for her if he wanted to be honest, but he supposed all the walking around the neighborhood and the candy she ate, before Gerard had managed to convince her that leaving some for the next day wasn't going to make them vanish that is, had its effect. She was sound asleep when Gerard went to check on her after seeing Frank to the door.

Instead of the overthinking he could tell his brain was preparing for him once he settled in bed, music sounded like a good idea (besides, he planned on being there the moment Frank made it home anyway) and, without realizing it, Morrissey's voice made its way out of the vinyl record player and the opening notes to _Last Night I Dreamt Somebody Loved Me_ filled the room. He didn't even realize he had pulled the vinyl out, let alone that his brain has decided he was listening to the song that evening. He loved that song but it felt a little too omnipresent as to the fact that he was just done with convincing himself that what happened with Frank was real and not something he came up with in his imagination.

Still, the music felt soothing and he sat down with his coffee, trying to let the music fill his brain.

…

Gerard hadn't realized he's fallen asleep on the couch in his living room until he heard the door. He sat up and checked his watch seeing it was getting closer to midnight, Rose must've been sleeping not to answer.

The Morrissey record had stopped playing a long time ago and he rubbed his face with his hands and wondered who it could be as he made his way to the door. Frank had a key and Gerard thought he's told him the gig was going to start at midnight, so he couldn't have made it home yet.

The mere was some more knocking as Gerard finally made it to the door and whatever was going through his head didn't matter he supposed, because when he opened the door he felt his smile fall.

…

Frank was on a high.

He had no idea how much he's missed this. The unbelievable high the adrenaline pumping through his veins causes. The sweat and the music. Everything happening so fast, getting him to his own personal nirvana.

The gig ended before he knew it. Beside some mistakes he's done he was positive no one but a professional guitar player would pick up, they killed it. The kids were nuts and Frank remembered crowd surfing once or twice but it all felt like an adrenaline fueled blur for him to know anything good really.

When it was all over, the familiar feeling of believing he could take down walls overtook him, but he could tell the fall was going to come any minute now.

Frank decided to get out of the club after helping the guys load their truck, he could see James talking with someone by the door that definitely looked like a label guy. He smiled and made his way out as fast as he could so not to disturb them, but if the stupid grin on James’ face was anything to go by, it must've been going well.

The air was freezing outside but the high he was still in from performing still hadn't gone down and so he sat outside catching his breath, trying to cox his brain that he didn't need a smoke after all. He quit and he wasn't about to go back to it because of one performance.

He sat by the van while the guys were still saying their goodbyes inside. He didn't know anyone, being away from the music scene for so long, so he figured no one was going to miss him.

It wasn't long before the guys made it out to him, high five-ing each other and grinning like crazy. He supposed they had a shot with the label guys after all. They couldn't see him from where they were coming, so Frank picked up his guitar and took off before he ruined their night with his mobbing.

It wasn't like he wasn't happy for them. He really was, but it still hurt to see that he couldn't be a part of that anymore. He decided leaving was better. He could come up with some shitty excuse for leaving in the morning, right now, he just needed to get away.

…

Gerard's hands were jittering as he placed the two cups of coffee at the table, debating if he should set down or just keep standing, accentuating his point in wanting to make this as short as possible.

“Come on, Gee.” Blake was saying from the where he's settled on the couch like he owned the damn place. “You said you'd let us talk,”

Gerard ran his hand through his hair, trying to sound as annoyed as he felt, “I said I'd hear you out. I didn't say I wanted to talk.”

Blake actually looked hurt at that and Gerard wondered if he was making it a little too hard on him before he remembered and he didn't feel too sorry anymore.

“I'm sorry, Gerard, okay?” Blake started apologizing putting his now slightly cleaner hair behind his ear, “I didn't mean for it—”

“You didn't mean to fuck me while you were with someone else?” Gerard had no idea from where his anger was coming from, but he felt it running through his veins and the words kept coming out with venom, “or, oh wait, perhaps you didn't mean to fuck off the morning I found out?”

Gerard was so angry his hands were shaking. It might have to do with how sorry and hurt the blond man setting before him looked when he didn't get to look hurt or sorry. What he's done that night didn't give him the right to. It was true that Gerard's gone to him so vulnerable and hurt, seeking any form of human contact, too shaken to think straight.

Back then, Blake wasn't even his friend, just an acquaintance Gerard had always run into in their circles, from way before he decided to isolate himself away. The guy had always had this flirtatious vibe about him and Gerard had never taken it seriously before. That night, however, Gerard was out to some business dinner meeting he was forced to go to. It was the first time he's made it out of the house since he moved there, which must've meant it was the first time he made it out of he house in to some social event in years. He thought he could take it, being around people after everything, but he wasn't. Everyone was talking, not minding he was even in the same room.

The rumors were the worst part of it. They were so terrible, but what was worst was that most of it was true. He knew they were not common knowledge as they were in the circles he used to move in, but it was still torture to have to set there, having to re-live everything, even years later. It still hurt.

By the end of the night he found himself itching to go home, before he did Blake found him. He wanted to talk and he hit on him which ended with them going home together.

Gerard wasn't looking for a relationship. He wasn't looking for a partner or a new romance and he had no idea Blake was already with someone, finding that out was the shock of the morning when Gerard could see the room in the clear daylight. It was clearly for two people and he felt sick instantly over it. He had no idea.

Gerard left the place immediately, disgusted with himself and not wanting to confront whoever was Blake’s partner. He realized he made a terrible mistake because Blake apparently had gone on tour that very morning as well and Gerard hadn't heard from him since then.

Blake was standing now, getting closer to Gerard who stood hands crossed over his chest, glaring at Blake, daring him to come any closer. Apparently, Blake was better at reading other people’s emotions than respecting them, because he stood a little away from Gerard.

“Gee, look, I'm not saying that I wasn't wrong, I was,” Blake’s voice was apologetic and Gerard just rolled his eyes, “I had feelings for you for a long time and when that happened I kind of didn't want someone like a girlfriend to come between us,”

There were so many assumptions in that sentence that Gerard wanted to laugh. Blake wasn't just an asshole but a clueless one at that.

“You think I'm mad at you because you hurt my feelings?” Gerard exclaimed, his arms dropping. He moved closer to Blake, he was seething.

“Gerard, I like you and I've always liked you. That night we had was amazing and I want to give us a chance, if you want to?”

Gerard wanted to interrupt the flood of bullshit leaving the mouth of the man standing before him but he had looked up at some point during his speech when he could see something moving.

Sure enough, and because Gerards life has always been a trainwreck that wouldn't let him catch a chance, Frank was there. His eyes were wide and he was gripping the doorframe in his hand.

He saw.

He heard.

Gerard was about to call him but Blake's hand was on his elbow making him realize he had already moved in the direction of the short tattooed boy standing with the most hurt expression Gerard's seen on anyone's face.

“Gerard, where are you goi—?”

Gerard's slap on Blake's face echoed in the room. It him up and he just stared at Gerard, mouth half open and hand gripping his cheek.

“You're an asshole. You cheated. You're nothing but a cheating asshole. What's worse was that you made me be part of it. You're not going to make me lose the only person who cared about me in years,” Gerard said with calmness that surprised him, but the venom in his voice was unmistakable.

“Get out of my house,” he finally added, pointing at the door.

It took a moment, by the man left the room eventually, leaving Gerard standing there, breathless and shaking. 

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: is it okay that my whole working title and plan for this chapter was “they kiss and Frank gets hurt”?
> 
> I'M SORRY OKAY.
> 
> It broke my heart to hurt Frank ugh.
> 
> Please leave a comment with your opinion? It'd mean the world to me!


	16. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Please excuse any grammatical or spelling errors. Enjoy <3

 

"I'm so tired,"

Frank sighed, hugging his jacket around him tightly. He stood there in the cold by their graves and closed his eyes.

"I can feel it eating at me, ma. I wish you were here. I wish you'd never left. I wish I hadn't gone to that stupid concert. God, ma, I'm so sorry." He covered his face with his hands.

He didn't know why he was apologizing, he didn't even know why he was there. Frank's never thought of himself as weak, he's never _allowed_ himself to be weak. Even when his parents died and everything just turned upside down in a second, he never broke down. Maybe that's why he was breaking down now, he's held on for so long and now it took the most stupid thing to break him.

Breaking down over something that happened over five years ago. A great way to spend your twentieth birthday, let him tell you.

Another sigh and some pathetic sniffing, he sat down on the ground by the tombstones. He felt like he was sixteen again. Back from the hospital, bruised with a few sutured wounds on his forehead and arms. He remembered how he wanted to sleep for hours, then it hit him. He couldn't just go up to his room and change his clothes that reeked of smoke and sweat, throwing them away in the wash for his mom to take care of them in the morning. His parents weren't there anymore to take care of anything. They weren't there to solve any of his messes.

He remembered how it only hit him then really. The fact that he was the only thing his four year-old sister got now. That they were alone, completely. It reminded him of Gerard's stupid painting that he's seen in Lindsey's parents' garage. He wondered if Gerard's ever knew loss that turned your life upside down. He wondered if Gerard's ever lost everything in a second.

"I just wanna go home." It left his mouth against his well, he drove the heels of his hands into his eyes, sniffing. Except for, he didn't know where home was.

His parents'? That home was buried six feet under his feet. Their old shitty apartment? Maybe, but it wasn't theirs anymore. Gerard's? Why did Gerard feel like home? He wasn't supposed to.

Frank hung his head between his knees, closing his eyes. He was crying and he willed himself not to be too pathetic to sob out loud.

He was lost and alone and he didn't want to fight anymore. He hated it. He hated fighting. He just wanted to give up.

Frank didn't even know why he was even there, or what response exactly he was waiting for. He just felt so miserable. He wanted his parents with him. He wanted to feel that feeling of knowing someone got your back no matter what. No matter how much you screw up, they're always there, that feeling that only family can give. He was so tired of fighting alone all the time. He was fucking a day over twenty and he was so tired already.

What broke his heart wasn't just Gerard and whoever the guy who was with him, but everything else that felt like a mountain laying on his chest, choking him. It just all flooded out at once when he saw Gerard there with that guy. He hated how much that affected him, because when it came down to it, all he felt was jealousy, pure blinding jealousy that Gerard had a thing with another person while still saying he had feelings for Frank.

And what the hell was he doing anyway? Jumping into a thing with his fucking boss? How was this even going to work? Frank was his assistant for goodness sake. The man wrote his paycheck every fucking month.

Were they dating now? Was Gerard his boyfriend? How would that even work when they lived in the same fucking house? What about Diana? Were they going to tell her?

What if the thing between them didn't work, what then? Did Frank have to leave? Diana was so used to Gerard in here life now and Frank hadn't even given any attention to that.

God, when did his life get so complicated?

It was a mess. His life was a fucking mess.

Frank could feel himself drown and he didn't want this anymore. He wanted to be away. He wanted to leave. Fuck home wherever that was.

...

Jamia just hugged him tightly once she saw him.

Frank didn't remember she told him she'd be back the day after Halloween. He remembered her promise of celebrating his birthday when she was back, but when she called him while he was still curled up like a loser by his parents grave, he blinked a few times at the phone and thought about not answering. At first, it was just James calling him then it was Gerard. He's been calling him since he left the house and so when Jamia's name appeared on the screen, he had to answer then.

She was so cheerful about making it home that she must've hadn't payed attention to the time, and when Frank didn't answer back, only saying her name with a broken voice, she asked him where he was and came to pick him up without another word.

He didn't say anything until they got to her apartment. It was slightly less shitty than Frank's old one, but it had never really mattered to her because she was on the road most of the time. She bought them beer and they curled on the couch together like they used to when they were kids. She didn't say anything, just sat beside him and Frank was reminded why that woman was the best best friend in the universe, and he was thankful that the universe decided to grant him a decent best friend to lean on when everything turned shitty.

...

Frank opened his eyes against blinding sun rays. He didn't know where he was. He defiantly was sleeping on a couch because his back was fucking killing him, but he knew it wasn't back home, because that one was facing away from the windows in the living room.

Did he just refer to Gerard's house as home? He groaned and shut his eyes tighter, remembering the previous night and willing his brain to stop thinking. He was never the one for killer hangovers, and he didn't drink that much the night before, but the headache splitting his brain was there and he really wished he hadn't drank anything.

"I made pancakes!"

It was Jamia. She sang happily as she made into the room. Frank felt the couch dip by his feet as she sat on it.

"Come on, Frankie. We didn't drink that much last night,"

Frank let out some unintelligent sounds and attempted to bury his head with the blanket but Jamia pulled it from his hands. What was it with the women in his life hating to see him sleep?

"Dude, you kept mobbing for the entire night last night. I've decided you're not allowed to anymore, it's your birthday! Besides, _pancakes_!"

She sounded too cheerful and that was possibly why Frank gave up and raised his head slightly from his pillow, that or it was just the mention of Jamia's magical pancakes. She could make really good ones.

"You sound like Diana," Frank said, his voice slightly scratchy. He sat up and rubbed his eyes.

"That kid is smart," she replied, "now, come on, get up," she said that and got up herself, walking back to the kitchen which was actually connected with a door to the living room, not like Frank's old place where the two were practically the same room.

With that, he had to get up, so he followed his best friend to the kitchen, standing on the threshold.

"Listen, J. Thanks for last night, but uh, I think I'm gonna head ho— _back_ , I mean," he scratched his head with his hand, realizing what a tangled mess his hair was (maybe he needed a quick shower before leaving), "I can't leave Diana alone. She's probably still asleep so I can—"

"Uh, well." Jamia was giving him her back saying that, stirring something up on the stove, but Frank could still read her easily, she looked nervous. "I kinda answered your phone last night," she finally confessed, looking at him momentarily before going back to what she was doing. "I'm sorry, but it kept ringing and you already fell asleep so I thought it was some kind of emergency,"

"Don't worry about it," Frank dismissed. He didn't check his phone at all after he went home with Jamia. He wondered how many times Gerard's called.

"He sounded really worried, you know." She said now, turning off the stove and crossing her arms over her chest, "I told him you were staying the night and he said you could stay as long as you want and that he'd take care of D."

"He said that?" He tried to keep his voice even.

Jamia nodded and started moving around again, placing everything she's made on the kitchen table. Frank didn't bring up Gerard again and neither did Jamia. He was thankful for that, he's blabbers about the dark haired artist enough the night before. Instead, they ended up eating and chatting over the stupidest shit, from the things she's been up to since she left on tour to Frank's night with the band the night before and Frank decided if he could in any way have a thing for women, he would've married her.

That was, at least, if a woman as awesome would ever marry him.

...

Gerard didn't sleep at all the night before.

He kept panicking; panicking and walking aimlessly around the house, trying to think of any place Frank would go to. He crossed his old apartment off the list when he called the place and some girl answered back telling him he got the wrong number.

He kept calling Frank, of course, but the latter wouldn't pick up and Gerard started panicking that he wanted to call every hospital and police department in the city to make sure he was okay. But Frank wasn't stupid to get himself into trouble, so that left Gerard with stupid scenarios his brain seemed to magically come up with, including Frank leaving completely and sending for Diana later with one of his friends so not to talk with Gerard.

He even considered leaving and looking for himself, but New York was huge and he didn't even know from where to start. He had no idea who Frank friends were and waking Diana up to ask her seemed like a horrible way to scare the kid to death.

Finally, somewhere before 4 am in the morning, Frank picked up. Well, his friend did, Jamia. She seemed nice enough and told him Frank was at hers. Gerard thought he might cry when she said that he was okay.

He couldn't sleep even after that. He just stayed up till the first rays of sunlight made its way into the living room.

...

"So what are these exactly?"

Frank asked from where he sat beside Jamia on the couch where she was busy typing on her laptop for the past half hour. He could see she was working on a file filled with pictures, organizing them but he couldn't tell who was in them.

"They're pictures," Jamia explained dismissively, still going through the files.

Frank sighed and sat besides her, giving up on getting her attention. He placed his coffee on the coffee table by her feet and thought about leaving again. He really didn't want to confront Gerard after the way he left. He acted without thinking, not even waiting for the other man to explain. For all he knew the whole thing could be a misunderstanding. Knowing Gerard, it probably was and Frank with his mobbing took it the wrong way.

It didn't mean that he was sure what the thing between him and Gerard was supposed to mean. He didn't think. He wasn't thinking on that stupid roof.. He had to talk with Gerard and it scared him what that talk might come up with.

Jamia sighed out loud and clicked impatiently at the keyboard, snapping Frank out of his thoughts.

"Alright, what are you doing?" He asked sneaking a peak at whatever got the woman's whole attention like that. Jamia though pulled the thing away from him and frowned before another sigh of frustration escaped her.

She rolled her eyes and pulled the device closer so both of them so he could look at it.

"Okay, so I was going to make some sort of file with these but I can't seem to figure out how," she whined but Frank hardly listened as he looked at the photo displayed in front of him on the screen. It was one of the ones he used to send Jamia in his emails when she left for the first time on tour. He remembered how much he missed her back then. He used so send her emails with everything that would happen in his life, pictures attached.

This one was a selfie of him and Diana on the couch of their first place. Frank remembered taking it, it was Diana's first birthday there. She was turning six and they had been living in that place for two weeks after leaving James' where they've lived for about a month. He remembered taking the day off and having a day for them only. It was cold and he didn't have money to buy her a gift or even a cake, but it was a great night they spent snuggled in watching his old DVDs on his beat up laptop, well the ones he could show a six year old, but still.

"It's Diana's sixth birthday," he stated, then looked at his best friend, asking for her point.

Jamia smiled and pressed a button so that the next picture showed. They were all similar pictures, one at the first decent place Frank managed to rent, a few of later birthdays and holidays. Most were taken by Frank, but a few by Jamia herself.

"J, I took most of these what are they supp—"

"They're supposed to show you how much of an idiot you are," Jamia said impatiently.

"I'm not, what—?"

Frank was just confused now and it must've showed on his face because Jamia moved the laptop aside to look at her friend, "you're not a loser, Frankie."

"Let me finish," she silenced him when Frank attempted to talk. "You're not. And if it's going to take some ridiculous pep talk for you to see that then I'm going to give you one." She took a breath and Frank knew there was no point in trying to even stop her now.

"You've done so much. You worked _four_ jobs at the same time at some point. How many of us do you think would've managed to do that? Any of us? You raised a kid on your own at sixteen. You think your mom and dad wouldn't have been proud? Fuck, Frankie, look!" She pointed at a picture of Frank at his desk when he first started that training course early July, smiling a half hearted smile at the camera. 

"How many people would've been able to work, raise a kid and take an unpaid training course in management?"

"It was a personal assistant course," he corrected.

Jamia chuckled, "fine, a personal assistant course, can you stop being an idiot for a second now?"

Frank huffed, "I know all of that, okay? It doesn't mean that it's not exactly my life dream to become this assistant, J. I—"

"It doesn't. Believe me, I know. Do you think it's my fucking life dream to be a guitar tech for the rest of my life? It gets too much at times and we all have the right to break down every once and a while, but you can't let that make you forget everything you've managed to do already," she smiled, placing her hand on his shoulder.

Frank nodded and smiled back, "fine." He said with a roll of his eyes, surrendering.

Jamia was about to say something else when there was a knock on the door, silencing both of them. She looked confused for a second and Frank wondered who she might've been waiting for this early in the morning.

"J, when did you get back?" Frank could hear James saying from the door, and after some more greetings and hugs and explanations that Jamia's just arrived the night before, it took James about two seconds to spot Frank and walk to him, "dude, do you have any idea how much I looked for you last night?"

Frank grimaced and remembered the way he left the night before, it felt so distant now and he realized how much of a shitty move it must've been to leave like that without a word. He was about to say something but Jamia beat him to it, "I kinda kidnapped the birthday boy last night," she smiled, coming over and setting beside Frank.

James turned to Jamia, "you could've said something."

"Sorry, man. We kinda got talking and—" Frank started.

James just waved his hand, "it's not about that," he silenced Frank, "you wouldn't believe what happened last night," he said with all the excitement of a five year-old who's won a golden star at school that day.

Frank grinned, remembering the dude James was talking to the night before, "some label guy recognized what a great musical talent the band is and is offering you a great record deal with lots of money and now you're all going to be living in mansions?"

James just laughed out loud, "something slightly more believable than that,"

"I got nothing," Frank giggled.

"Well, a label guy did notice us," he announced and Frank grinned, happy that the person he's seen the night before talking with James was indeed a label guy, "and I have someone from it who wants to meet you," James added.

When neither Frank nor Jamia said anything, James stood up and walked to the door to open it again. They stood up instead and attempted to follow him hadn't he came back instantly with another guy.

Frank was pretty sure he's never seen the guy before. He seemed about his age, but much taller. Frank wondered how a young guy could actually be working with a record label. He wore skinny jeans and a faded band t-shirt under a leather jacket, making Frank question him even further.

"Frank, Jamia, this is Mikey Way," James said and Frank felt his eyes get wider as he looked at the man who was smiling now, well if you called his lips pulling at the corners weirdly a smile.

" _Way_? As in— _Way_ ," Frank repeated dumbly. He wondered when his life decided to turn into a cheesy mystery novel where all fifty characters literally interacted in the same city that had millions of people living in it.

"Mikey," the dude corrected, "hi, nice to meet you," he said to Jamia as he shook her hand before turning to Frank, "I'm really glad to finally meet you, Mr. Iero."

Frank blinked, reminding himself that Mikey had no idea who he was, "Frank," he corrected, taking his hand.

"Frank," Mikey agreed and pulled his hand back.

"Mikey here wouldn't leave last night before he met you. He made me promise I'd call him once I knew where you disappeared to," James now added, completely unaware of the way Frank's brain was swirling around, trying to match any of Mikey's features to the other Way he knew too well. He couldn't find any similarities that would scream brothers at him if he had met Mikey somewhere he didn't know him. Mikey and Gerard looked like each other in that vague way that made you feel like they were related but not actually brothers.

"I had to after that performance," Mikey said, "you are truly talented, Frank. I think you and I might have an interesting talk about your future in the music industry, if you're planing onto making a carrier in it," he extended a card he pulled out of his pocket to Frank.

Frank took it, still dazed but only now realized he might be getting a meeting with a label, "with me? What about the band? I wasn't the only one at that gig."

Mikey smiled and nodded, "we've already sat a meeting with them. I just had to find you when they told me you were only filling in for their guitarist."

Frank looked over at James who was grinning like crazy now, "well. I— I don't know what to say—" he chuckled looking form Mikey's face to the card in his hand.

Mikey stood up, causing all of them to do so as well, "you don't have to say anything right now. If you don't mind, I'll call you later so we can agree on the details? I already took your number from James." He said that as a question and Frank nodded.

"Yeah, yeah. Sure." Frank chuckled nervously.

"It was really nice to finally meet you," Mikey actually smiled saying that and shook Frank's hand.

Mikey nodded and looked at James, "I think I'll be going now. Thanks, James. I'll call you later,"

James shook hands with Mikey one more time, his grin never leaving his face and Frank just sat down staring at the card Mikey's given him. His brain still processing all of what just happens that he only now read the card properly.

Mikey Way wasn't just some label guy, he was its freaking owner.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Can I say how much I love this story and how much I love you guys?
> 
> Thank you so much from the bottom of my black little heart for the kudos, subscriptions, and comments <3 they're basically, and I'm not exaggerating, what make me keep writing for hours, especially that English is not my first language and sometimes I struggle to formulate sentences the way I want them to be. 
> 
> It means a lot that people want to read this. So thank you for everything, truly <3


	17. Chapter 15

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: sorry this is so late. My life hasn't been great lately and I've been extremely busy; I didn't have any free time except to sleep. I wrote this in parts in surgical theaters and on night shifts, basically anywhere I could. I hope you enjoy. 
> 
> Song is Dumb by Nirvana.

Gerard was waiting for him when he made it home.

Frank couldn't believe it's only been a few hours since what happened. He couldn't believe it's been only a few hours and all he could think of was Gerard, how soft his lips were when they kissed, the expression on his face when he saw him listening in on them in the living room, and Gerard, Gerard, Gerard.

He felt like he was possessed, or perhaps, which was more likely considering everything, he was just happy. He felt like that Nirvana song, he just felt giddy and light, like he could just fly if he jumped a little off the ground.

...I think I'm dumb  
Or maybe just happy  
I think I'm just happy...

He kept humming the words under his breath as he got off the subway and started making his way home.  
He didn't think it was just his meeting with Mikey. Maybe partly it was, but his talk with Jamia and spending some time away put things into perspective. He loved the home he had at Gerard's.

He didn't forget about the dude in the living room talking about having feelings for Gerard, but Frank didn't care, because he had reached the conclusion that maybe Gerard had had a thing with that man, but he still chose to come to Frank. He still chose to confess his feelings for him. He still chose him.

The whole dating his boss thing still lingered in the back of his brain though as he made his way home. The thing was, though, everything just flew out of his head when he saw Gerard sitting out on the steps that led to the house main entrance. Seeing him sitting there drew a smile on his face but for only a moment, because when he was close enough, he could see him properly and he felt his chest clench.

He sat there on the steps that led to the door, his knees apart and his elbows resting on his thighs, his head was down, and as Frank made his way to him, he could see he was twisting his hands together.

Frank had texted him once Mikey left. He only said he was going to be home shortly and he wondered in that moment if Gerard's been waiting for him since then. If he had, he'd most likely been sitting there for more than forty-five minutes. 

Frank felt his stomach twist as he made his way closer. Gerard still hadn't noticed him yet and he hesitated on the last few steps before walking over slowly, hands in his pockets.

"Hey," he greeted softly and Gerard looked up at him. He looked tired, like he hadn't slept at all the night before; his eyes were red and black circles formed under them. He looked ten years older than the smiling man Frank left at the door before the gig. Frank felt the guilt twist at his stomach.

"Hey," he replied and, in a moment, Gerard was on his feet. He looked like he wanted to do something else and Frank realized a second too late that he had meant to hug him but stopped himself. He stood there just a few feet away, unsure.

"You're home," Gerard said softly and so low that Frank almost didn't hear him.

Frank smiled, "I'm home,"

It seemed like Gerard hadn't expected that because he only stared at the younger man weirdly, before Frank decided it was ridiculous how much time they've spent not kissing and that they should, in fact, kiss. So he stepped forward and kissed Gerard's partly open lips lightly before moving back, amused at how Gerard's breath hitched and how his eyes closed on their own.

Frank smiled to Gerard as he opened his eyes, the look of confusion never leaving them, "you kissed me," he stated.

Frank chuckled and nodded, "I did," he said and lent to kiss him again, just as lightly, this time when he moved back, he was just inches away, "and just so you know, I'm planning on doing that a lot,"

Gerard smiled and reached with his hand to touch Frank's cheek, "I thought you were mad at me," he whispered like he was afraid it would break the spell around them.

Frank smiled and held Gerard's hand that was holding his cheek, "you're an idiot, Gerard Way." He breathed and when Gerard just blinked, "you're an idiot if you think some stupid ex visiting you in the middle of the night is gonna keep me from you,"

"Blake is—" Gerard spoke but Frank cut him off by kissing him in earnest this time, swallowing whatever words of explanation he was going to give. He kissed him with all he had in him.

Frank didn't let go this time, he wouldn't have been able to even if he wanted to anyway because Gerard held him close and kissed him back, all surprise and hesitation from earlier completely gone.

Frank finally broke away and moved slightly back, realizing Gerard had him held close from the front of his shirt now and wouldn't let go.

"I'm sorry," Frank apologized and bit his lip and Gerard's look of confusion returned, "that I left like that yesterday. I was— I wasn't feeling great and I know I've—"

Gerard was the one to cut him off now by kissing him lightly with a smile, "shut up," he said and Frank shut his mouth immediately, looking at the way Gerard was looking at him like he hardly believed he was there.

"I want to take you out," Gerard finally said.

Frank had to blink now and he moved back, only Gerard hands on his shirt stopped him, the latter was grinning like he just won the lottery and his grin only widened at Frank's expression, "Dinner. You and me," he said quietly, letting go of Frank and moving back a step, but his hands circled Frank's waist, keeping him close.

Frank thought about it for a second before he started nodded with a grin. He had meant to tell Gerard they needed to talk, tell him his news and a dinner date seemed the perfect chance to. He was still debating himself if he wanted to tell him about meeting his brother. The way Gerard talked about him, in the few times he did, made it seem like they weren't close and Frank wondered how it would make him feel.

Frank looked at Gerard's crooked smile and wondered when all his doubts about their relationship had decided to become so solvable, "so you want to take me out?"

"Isn't that what people dating do?"

Frank giggled at how serious Gerard's question was. "Fine, but I'm taking you somewhere first,"

Gerard looked confused but Frank only smirked in response and winked, "we're leaving in fifteen minutes," he said as he made his way around Gerard and got in before the latter could say anything else.

...

The music store they stopped by looked so small from the outside that Gerard wondered how it could have anything to sell.

They had left, expectedly, late. Gerard just kept going back and forth between the younger man and his closet not knowing what to wear. He knew he wanted to take Frank to dinner, but he had no idea where the latter wanted to take him. After seeing Frank had settled on a casual shirt and jeans with a jacket over them, he dressed the same and they left.

Frank wouldn't say where they were going and Gerard surprisingly found himself excited. He normally hated going out anywhere he didn't know. He needed to know where exactly he was going, who was going to be there and how long it would take before he could go home. But with Frank, it felt like none of that mattered. He was with him and that was all what mattered. That was, at least, until they went to the subway and started taking train after train, Gerard realizing they were going to Brooklyn a little too late. His curiosity piqued as they made their way down the street and he couldn't just stay silent anymore, but when he was about to say something, Frank spoke.

"Diana and I used to live there," he said, pointing at a building a couple of blocks away. Gerard looked up at a building that looked like just any other in the city. The street it was located on had various shops, much like any other Brooklyn street and there was a dollar store and a hair saloon located on the same block the apartment was in.

Gerard tried to imagine Frank walking through that street alone, occasionally with Diana, carrying stuff home or simply going somewhere; to work or the grocery store. He felt some weird feeling of nostalgia, he hadn't been there with him but he felt like he wanted to be, he wanted to hold his hand like he's doing right now and walk with him to his apartment and cook dinner together. He wanted to have conversations that lasted all throughout the night. He wanted to kiss him over and over and share his bed. He wanted to wake up curled to him in the morning...

He wanted to be a relationship like that with the other man like he never wanted anything else in his life.

Gerard looked at Frank then, realizing he's been staring at the building like a lunatic for a few minutes, but Frank was staring back at him, smiling a small secret smile like he knew something Gerard didn't.

Gerard blushed and smiled back to him anyway. "What?" He asked.

Frank looked at his shoes and shook his head, "nothing," he murmured and took Gerard's hand in his, "come on, hotshot," he said louder now, grinning, and Gerard took a second to realize he meant the store.

"What?" He asked again, dumbly and Frank just went in, pulling Gerard with him.

The store was warm and excessively cluttered; records were everywhere; in packs on the floor, in piles on counters and on shelves. Frank, however, seemed to know exactly where he was going, because he circled some shelves and few piles of records on the ground, pulling Gerard with him, until he got to the counter where a girl was busy writing something on a computer.

She had bright long blue hair that caught Gerard's eye immediately held high in a ponytail. She looked bored as she typed something, fixing her glasses every now and then, not even noticing someone was in the store, or possibly not caring anyone was there.

Frank stood by the counter, though, grinning, and Gerard stood a little to the back, his hand still held by Frank's.

"I would like to ask for Doctor Anderson, please?" Frank asked, trying to sound clinical but his barely hidden laughter almost gave him away. Gerard stared at him, completely lost.

When Gerard looked at the girl who only fixed her glasses once again and rolled her eyes not even looking away from her computer, "tell my mom I say hi too,"

Frank only giggled at that, apparently finally catching the girl's attention, because she turned, her mouth drawing the widest grin when she saw who was talking. She almost jumped at them from behind the counter.

"Frankie!" She shouted before she crushed Frank in a tight hug, Frank catching her and giggling.

"Shahd, you're going to choke me," Frank finally managed between giggles and the girl smiled and moved back, hitting him on the shoulder playfully.

"That's what you get for not calling for months, you asshole midget," she said even though she was shorter than Frank herself, clearly not as mad as she was trying to project, her hands were on her hips, trying not to smile. "You work with someone for over a year and then they disappear without once checking on their old boss,"

"Nice to see you too," Frank replied with a grin and the girl, Shahd, grinned back, before looking at Frank and Gerard's joined hands and up to Gerard's face in surprise, it took her a second and she only grinned wider, clasping her hands under her chin and Gerard felt mildly uncomfortable.

"Let me guess, Frankie's boyfriend?" She asked excitedly and Gerard wondered for a second if that was what they called each other now. They hadn't even been on a proper date yet but he did want Frank to be his boyfriend, he just didn't want to scare him by saying it too fast.

As Gerard's brain was panicking, Frank smiled and nodded holding Gerard's hand tighter and Gerard breathed and grinned, not even uncomfortable anymore with Shahd's goggly eyes at them.

"Gerard, this is Shahd Anderson," Frank said now, pointing at Shahd who smiled and nodded extending her hand for Gerard who took it. "She's the lovely owner of this fine store. Shahd, this is Gerard,"

"Nice to meet you," Shahd replied, still smiling.

"It's a lovely place," Gerard said politely. He did like the place; it was small and unorganized but reflected actual love of music. From the little glances he managed to give the records everywhere, they seemed to reflect a good taste. It's been awhile since he went to an actual record store, he usually buys stuff he wants through the internet, but the thrill of looking through records and finding something you've been looking for for ages was one of the best feelings in the world.

Shahd smiled like a proud parent, "thank you. It's cluttered but I like it that way,"

Gerard nodded, "I would love to explore it sometime," he said before he could stop himself.

"You're welcome anytime,"

...

"So what sprung this sudden desire to buy records?" Gerard asked now as he walked to Frank. He was looking around himself, trying to remember if he had this record or that. His library at home wasn't that big but he still struggled to remember.

"It's Diana's birthday this weekend," Frank answered simply, already wrapped up in whatever he was looking at. Gerard came closer and saw he was holding two vinyls, looking between them like he was comparing.

"So you're buying her vinyls?"

"Ahah," he answered then put both records in Gerard's hands before something else caught his attention.

"Frank?" Gerard called but the former had already moved to another shelf and was looking through it, shaking his head slightly when something caught his eye.

"Yeah?" Frank replied, momentarily taking his eyes off the records shelves. He seemed to realize Gerard's confusion, because he sighed.

"I used to work here back in the day," Frank explained, "Diana would come here after school to stay with me and if you hadn't noticed, Shahd doesn't really get lots of customers so I'd put on records and we'd listen to them and have fun. I never got to buy stuff before, now I want to," Frank scratched the the back of his neck with his hand and looked at Gerard, "I suppose it was a bad idea I decided to do it before our date and uh—"

Frank's meant to go on but Gerard cut him off by kissing his parted lips and, it took him a moment, but Frank kissed back eagerly. He ran his hands though Gerard ridiculously long hair and moved back with a smile, his eyes slightly questioning.

Gerard smiled back and touched the younger man's cheek with his fingers, "I've always wanted to cut off one of your rants by kissing you," he breathed and Frank's smile turned to a full on grin. "Besides, I don't think of a better way to spend our first date other than records shopping with you,"

Frank looked at his lips again and kissed him one more time, Gerard deepening it and pushing him against the shelf that was to his back, a few records falling down causing them to break apart, giggling.

Frank had the cutest blush on as he ran his hand through his hair. He picked up the records from the ground and put them back. Thankfully, Shahd hadn't come to check all the noise and Gerard felt like a boy as he laughed quietly with Frank holding his hands and smiling warmly to him

...

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A/N: filler chapter, somewhat. I just liked how cute they are here.
> 
> Writing the boys' trip to Brooklyn made me nostalgic for New York and the time I've spent there. Uh, I wish I could go back. I love that city too much.
> 
> Please vote and leave a comment with your opinion? Thank you


	18. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> sorry for how late this chapter took to come out, my life has been going out of hand recently. I hope this chapter makes up for it. I love it so much and I had so much fun writing it. Hope you enjoy ;)
> 
> Please forgive any errors; I don't have internet at the moment and I had to post this using the school internet. So, be nice?

 

...

The place they were sitting was defiantly the last place Gerard thought his night would end in.

When the day had started, he was terrified he had lost Frank. He was anxious and worried and couldn't do anything but set and wait. It was torture. For the most part, he had been trying to come up with whatever speech he would have to give Frank to make him realize how much he didn't want to lose him. How much it hurt him to constantly hurt Frank. He was ready to do whatever. A lot of bad things in his life has happened to him he had little or no control over, losing Frank wasn't. If he was to lose him, he'd fight nail and tooth to keep him first.

Now, sitting here, hearing the waves underneath the dock crashing and occasionally splashing the whole place with water, sitting with Frank in the cool breeze and just looking at the dark water in front of them, felt too good to be true. He was relaxed and happy. He didn't think he's ever felt this happy in possibly years.

"What were you like in high school?"

Frank's question caught him off guard and Gerard looked at him with a small smile. They were sitting on a table in the middle of the dock and had sat in silence for a while, just looking around at the water and the few people who'd pass by then occasionally. Gerard had wanted to take Frank to dinner, but somewhere along the way, Frank's convinced him somehow to come here instead, saying he used to come here a lot as a kid and wanted Gerard to see it.

Frank's hair was moving in the breeze now and he was smiling too, his eyes honestly curious. Gerard looked at his hands.

"I was a total loser," he finally settled on that and tried to laugh.

Frank was rolling his eyes when Gerard looked up at him, "I have a hard time believing that,"

Gerard smiled sheepishly, "I was. I would usually hang out in the art room alone or with the D&D kids when Ray and Christa got too much into each other," he chuckled. It wasn't like he hated them, he just hated being the third wheel.

Frank's eyebrows shot upwards and Gerard could see him trying not to laugh, "you were a nerd?"

Gerard grinned, "I was the king of nerds. I was a dungeon master,"

Frank laughed out loud now, his eyes squinting and his head thrown backwards. Gerard couldn't bring himself to feel upset that Frank was laughing at him. He _had_ been a loser back then, sometimes he thought how he was still kind of was. The money and social status may have made people not see that, but that kid who sat in the back of class, wearing all black and drawing all the time in his sketchbook was defiantly still there, mostly coming out in social situations he was uncomfortable in.

Besides, Frank looked so damn cute when he laughed and Gerard's heart fluttered in his chest.

"I'd show you pictures if you want." He said when Frank finally stopped laughing and looked at him, traces of his laugh still around his eyes, "how were you like in high school?" He retorted.

That seemed to catch Frank off guard, "me? Uh, I was a a piece of shit, mostly." He said and scratched his head, avoiding Gerard's eyes.

Gerard smirked at how the table flipped and asked, teasingly, "how is that?"

"I was stoned half the time. Hanging around the punk kids till Jamia took pity on me and became my best friend. I had this faux hawk and some piercings and I would do the stupidest shit," Frank reminisced, looking away from Gerard to the black water in the distance. Gerard could see a small smile on his lips, but his eyes were unseeing.

"Like what?"

Frank looked back at Gerard. He smiled before he said, "I accidentally almost sat a house on fire,"

"How do you accidentally set a house on fire?"

Frank giggled, "I might've been too drunk and tried to light a cigarette at a party at someone's house. It was fall and all those dry leaves..." he was trying to explain before something in his eyes lit, "remember Shahd? The girl back at the music store?"

Gerard immediately remembered the girl with the long bright blue hair and he asked, "yeah what was up with that? Is she really a Doctor?"

Frank shook his head, smirking, "it's a joke between us," he chuckled, "she had studied medicine and is actually a certified doctor. She only did it for her parents though. After graduating, she bought the place and turned it to a music store," Frank smiled fondly at that before he waved his hand, "anyways, that's not my point. It was her parents' house, her little sister was with us at school and she threw this party and well, Shahd basically saved us. She was back home for this exam she needed to study for and she was basically the only sober person. She thankfully didn't say anything to her parents though." Frank chuckled then before adding, "man, we were just prices of shit back then,"

Gerard was laughing, trying to imagine Frank like he described himself. If he was being honest, Frank sounded like the guys who'd usually beat Gerard and make fun of him, not that he actually thought Frank might do such thing. He seemed like the harmless kind of cool kids who didn't bully other people for being different, just were totally oblivious to their existence. From the sound of things, Gerard would probably have had a major hopeless crush on him if he had been in his school.

"I never went to a party in high school," he admitted quietly, even after all those years, still expecting to get rejected for that fact.

"What? Never?" Frank's voice was honestly surprised.

Gerard smiled to his hands and he shook his head, "no. I told you I was a loser." He looked up saying that and the warm smile Frank was giving him made him feel tingly all over, "Ray and —uh, the others, they would sometimes try to drag me with them but I think they gave up somewhere around the end of middle school, so they didn't bother when later I would say I didn't want to go."

Frank looked at him like he thought that was a shitty thing to do to your friend, so he had to add, "they knew I'd mob in the corner by myself the whole time. I was more comfortable in my dorm, honestly. People didn't tend to give me much thought anyway to take interest in talking to me. They used to say I'm so quiet but, you know, why talk when no one is listening?"

Frank nodded understandably, "so no boyfriends then?"

Gerard honestly couldn't help but laugh out loud at that. He just bared his fucking soul to the younger man and he was only interested in his high school love life.

Frank was still smiling uncertainly when Gerard tried to look properly at him, his eyes watering from laughing so hard.

"Or girlfriends, I mean, whatever you felt like back then," Frank said that smiling a small adorable smile and Gerard realized what he was doing.

"No, Frankie, no boyfriends," he grinned, "not even girlfriends I'm afraid,"

"What the hell was wrong with people at your school?" Frank seemed confused and Gerard knew he's never seen anything cuter in his life. "I would've been all over you," he added right away, not letting Gerard reply.

Gerard blushed, "too bad you weren't there then. I would've had someone to go with me to prom."

"You didn't go to prom?" Frank asked disbelievingly, "again, what he hell was wrong with people at your school?"

Gerard giggled, "I did go, but it was with a bunch of friends. It was so awkward."

"I would've taken you," Frank said all serious and determined, like he would take him right now if he could. "I would've danced with you all night,"

Gerard smirked, "I'm not saying it would put you off, but I was this weird chubby kid with long black dyed hair. You would've been too cool for me with your faux hawk and punk friends," he was smirking now but some part of him knew it was the truth. If Frank had been at his school he wouldn't have looked at him twice.

"Well," Frank scratched his head again, "that phase lasted a little over a year, when my parents died things changed. It made me see more clearly. I'm pretty sure I would've still thought you were gorgeous either way." He added thoughtfully.

Gerard looked at Frank when he said that, he didn't know— Frank has never told him "you think I'm gorgeous?"

Frank giggled shyly and only then seemed to realize what he's said, his hand went over on its own to Gerard's and he laced his fingers with his, "are you kidding? Of course I do," he smiled warmly, "I thought you were gorgeous form day one, man. My first thought when I first met you was 'my fucking boss is too gorgeous,'" he chuckled.

Gerard hadn't realized they were inching closer to each other all the time they were talking, because he literally only had to lean forward an inch to let his lips meet Frank's.

Frank seemed to have been caught off guard with the kiss but he kissed Gerard back heatedly once he caught on. He was pulling Gerard closer with hands around his neck. It was chaste for a second but Frank's tongue easily found its way into Gerard's mouth and they were kissing slowly and passionately.

When they broke off he was smiling, "if I knew telling you you were gorgeous would've gotten you to kiss my like that, I would've said it long ago,"

Gerard was smiling and holding Frank's face in his hands, the younger man was blushing and his eyes were looking from Gerard's eyes to his lips, not seeming to settle anywhere.

"Would it be cheesy if I said my first thought was you were gorgeous too? And how I thought I was going to get in so much trouble for that?"

Frank giggled, "you wouldn't now," and he kissed him again.

...

"So when are they going to kiss?" Frank broke the silence by asking that.

"Frank," Gerard whined and Frank giggled at how genuinely annoyed he sounded.

"What? Can't you see it? The sexual tension is killing them... and me,"

Gerard pinched his arm and Frank squirmed away, giggling hard. When he looked back, Gerard had his arms crossed over his chest and was staring at the tv with a pout. Frank stopped giggling and crawled his way over to him. He kissed him on the cheek and Gerard blushed intensely before he looked at him from the corner of his eye, barely holding a smile.

"Sorry?" Frank apologized innocently.

Gerard's smile broke but he looked away, pretending he was still mad. Frank only came over and wrapped his arm around him, Gerard immediately relaxing.

Frank giggled to Gerard's hair. "Okay, I'll try to ignore the immense chemistry between Sherlock and Dr. Watson here and concentrate on the plot. Happy?"

Frank could feel Gerard smiling and he giggled again. He lent his head on Gerard's shoulder and the latter wrapped his arm around him and Frank relaxed instantly. He smiled and actually tired to keep up with the plot of this huge black hound terrorizing a small town. He did like the story, and he wasn't only teasing Gerard; the chemistry between Watson and Sherlock was ridiculous and everyone assuming they were together had a point. Gerard apparently wasn't found of the idea of Frank joking about that and ignoring the plot so he tried to pay attention.

Frank wasn't sure how he had managed to end up watching Sherlock with Gerard on the couch in the middle of the night. They had had a busy day and when Frank's suggested that Gerard might've been working himself to death, the latter made a joke about Sherlock and when Frank mentioned he had never seen it, Gerard looked like Frank's said the most absurd thing he's ever heard, insisting that they were going to watch it together that very night.

To be fair, Gerard's been working all day, all week in fact. He's already told Frank he had a deadline he needed to stick to and Frank tired to respect that as much as he could. He did his job, but that didn't mean he wasn't worried or that he didn't miss him.

Their relationship's been going amazing for the past week they've been officially together. They worked more in harmony now, to the contrary of what Frank's originally believed, their relationship hadn't been an obstacle to anything. The only difference now was that Frank could kiss and touch Gerard whenever he felt like it. He could just walk to him when he was working and had that adorable pout of concentration on his face and kiss it away. Gerard would do that sometimes too, he'd come over and kiss Frank when he would be leaving from his study to his studio, or just absentmindedly touch Frank's hand when they were having coffee or dinner, whether silently or over small conversation.

Frank loved it. He loved every minute of being with Gerard and their living together hadn't changed that one bit. Gerard never pushed him for anything. They'd stop kissing or making out whenever one of them felt like they wanted to.

Now sitting here in each other's arms and watching the two idiots that are Sherlock and Watson ignoring their obvious attraction felt like the only place Frank's ever wanted to be his whole life. He wouldn't trade this moment for anything and he's never been happier that he's never watched Sherlock before.

"NOOOO!" Frank was shouting at the tv when the last episode of the third season ended. Gerard laughing uncontrollably behind him.

"So he just jumped? What the hell, Gee?! I thought you said there were _four_ seasons!" Frank felt genuinely betrayed. Did Gerard actually trick him to watch all of this for nothing!? He was still waiting for Watson and Sherlock's confessions of undying love! This wasn't fair!

"They hadn't even said they loved each other yet!" Frank was ranting angrily and Gerard was just smiling at him and only gave him a glare when he mentioned that. Frank waved him off, "I don't care if it's about the plot! That can't be it! They belong together and I swear to god I'll dig up Morriety's body and kill him again myself if—"

"Frankie, it's not over yet." Gerard finally promised between chuckles, "I promise there's more,"

Frank rolled his eyes and sat back with a huff, "there better be," he grumbled angrily and Gerard only giggled.

"Frankie?"

Gerard was about to say something else, but they heard Diana's small voice and shut up immediately. Frank turned and saw Diana standing by the door to the room rubbing her eyes and walking towards them. He had put her to bed way before he went to check on Gerard. He wondered what woke her up.

"Hey, D." He said when she was close enough and he wrapped his arm around her. "You okay, monkey?" His voice lacking any kind of its earlier annoyance.

Diana nodded, "I went to your room but you weren't there," she said, her voice still heavy with sleep.

"Sorry, sweetie." Frank apologized, "would you like me to get you to bed?"

"Can Gee do it?" She then asked with a small yawn, pointing at Gerard who had been watching silently so far. He looked as surprised as Frank as he came over, his eyes questioning if it was okay if he did. Frank could see he was confused but not upset and he nodded to the question in his eyes.

"Sure, D." Gerard smiled to her and picked her up. She immediately wrapped her arms around him and seemed to have fallen asleep already.

"Frankie," Gerard whispered when he stood up and Frank didn't know what he had meant to say but he cut him off with a fast kiss to the lips. Gerard's anxious expression relaxed immediately, and he nodded. He turned and left with Diana snoring softly in his arms.

...

When Gerard finally made it down. He wondered if Frank had gone to bed already, but then he remembered he has just put Diana to bed and would've seen him if he went upstairs. He made his way slowly to the living room and found Frank standing by one of the windows looking out. Gerard wondered what he was thinking of.

Frank gasped softly when Gerard circled his waist with his arms from behind, but he sighed in comfort when he realized who it was and covered Gerard's arms with his hands, leaning back on his chest until they were hugging.

Gerard smiled and kissed the side of Frank's head. "She's asleep," he whispered.

Frank hummed and sighed softly.

"Frankie," Gerard started but stopped when Frank turned in his arms. He looked at Gerard for a second then held his face between his hands. He smiled a small smile before leaning in and kissing Gerard softly on the lips.

That took Gerard by surprise but he kissed back eagerly.

"Thank you, Gee." Frank whispered as he moved back, and try as he might, Gerard couldn't have mistaken the amount of affection he could hear lacing Frank's voice. He hushed him and pulled him closer.

"Frankie, can I promise you something before you say anything else?" Gerard whispered like he was telling a secret, even though they were completely alone. He just didn't want to break the bubble he could always feel around him and Frank.

"Sure, yeah." Frank nodded and placed his hands on Gerard's shoulders now.

"I.. uh," Gerard tried but words escaped him completely he looked down momentarily, trying to compose his next words away from the effect of Frank's eyes.

"I promise I wouldn't hurt her," he finally said and when Frank looked confused, Gerard sighed and bit his lip before adding, "I mean, I know what you're thinking. I know that you think she's getting too attached to me and well, it is especially tricky now since we're involved and all, but," he sighed again, "well, I just want to tell you it's not only Diana getting attached but me too. And I want to promise you that nothing is gonna change that. I mean, if you want, that is. I'm welling to fight nail and tooth for this to work out between us, but even if, for whatever reason, things don't work out or whatever, I want you to know that you two will always have a home here. You'll always have a job here as long as you want it,"

Gerard was still catching his breath after he stopped saying all of that and he waited, looking uncertainly into Frank's eyes, for his reply. He meant every word he said. He loved Diana and, well, he didn't know he'd have to fight this hard not to let the L-word slip when talking about Frank. He guessed it should've been obvious what he felt wasn't a simple crush, but it still took the wind out of him to realize he was in fact in love with the boy in his arms. He would tell him but not now. Not yet. This wasn't about that at the moment.

It took a while, but Frank eventually smiled and hugged Gerard tightly, "thank you, Gee." He whispered again and when he moved back, his smile was still there. He touched Gerard's cheek affectionately.

"A little off topic, but I need to tell you something," Frank said now excitement barely contained in his voice. He grinned when Gerard nodded, "remember the label guys I told you about?" Gerard nodded, "well, they just called,"

Gerard would've clapped excitedly weren't his hands around Frank already. He grinned instead, remembering Frank telling him he had caught the eye of some label guy that night he played the gig with his old band. Frank's been so excited about it, making Gerard excited for him. He had told him he was so happy that he might get a real chance to play professionally one day, but when a week has passed by and no one called, Gerard stopped asking about it and tried to get Frank's mind of the subject as much as he could. Now that they were calling, Gerard's never seen Frank looking happier.

"What did they say?" Gerard asked.

"They want me to play next week. They want to be sure and well, I'm getting to play this gig in some club downtown. They asked if I could sing and I said yes," Frank said, running his hand through his hair and looking like he hardly believed it himself.

Gerard kissed him quickly, just because he could, he was smiling too hard and he couldn't stop himself. "Frankie, that's great news!"

Frank was nodding frantically. He was still obviously nervous, but Gerard could tell how big of a deal this was for him.

"We're celebrating," Gerard finally declared with a wide grin.

"Gee, it's not confirmed yet. Besides I thought you hated parties," Frank whined weakly when Gerard let go of him and started going around the room.

"Oh, no. I don't care. My boyfriend has the chance of being a rockstar and I'm celebrating. Besides I've just decided we're celebrating by going out for dinner! That way Diana could come too!" Gerard started talking over himself, feeling too excited. It's been a long time since he had something to celebrate and Frank's happiness seemed like the best reason to.

He was holding a sketch pad in his hands now that he's found laying somewhere and he sat down on the couch looking at Frank expectedly, "well, are you going to tell me who you want to invite or not?"

Frank shook his head and came to sit by his boyfriend. He was grinning too hard to even appear like he didn't want this. Gerard grinned back to him and started writing down people they might want to invite.

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> please tell me what you think? <3


	19. Chapter 18

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hey, guys. As usual, sorry for how late this is. I don't have an excuse really except that I really struggled writing this particular part. I know I'm not a really good writer, but I almost gave up on this one because it's a really vital part and I wanted it to come out as good as I can get it. I tried my best, sorry that I couldn't do better. I hope you like it anyway.

One look at his office and Gerard was grinning like an idiot.

The room was still the same, but the bright red roses on his desk caught his eye and he grinned to them like he's just seen them for the first time. He came closer and picked one, smelling it.

The roses have been there on his desk when he got there in the morning and he was confused at first before he read the card attached to the bouquet. A simple good morning with a small smily face were written on it and Frank's signature underneath.

Gerard smiled as he reread the card. Frank had left already for Alicia's store by then, before Gerard had the chance to see him, but the roses had been a pleasant surprise when he walked in that morning; one of many little things Frank started doing around the house lately. Gerard loved the small gestures. He loved how Frank would sometimes prepare dinner for the two of them, particularly when Gerard would be too exhausted to eat after working for hours. He loved the small notes Frank started leaving for him around the house, typically ranging from reminders of important tasks Gerard might easily forget about, to random greetings and complements.

Gerard would always doodle something on the notes and bring them back to Frank's desk when he's not there, occasionally with a cup of coffee he'd make for him. He'd doodle whatever comes to his head at the moment, mostly of Frank behind his desk concentrating on something, or drinking coffee, or just smiling his adorable smile. He once tried to doodle how he imagined Frank would have looked with his dyed faux hawk that he's told Gerard he had in high school. It earned him a kiss and an adorable giggle when Frank's seen it and since then he started putting effort in the small doodles in a attempt to hear Frank's giggles and see him fold the notes carefully and hide them in his desk.

The previous few days have been, without a doubt, the happiest Gerard had found himself feeling in years. He never imagined himself in love again, his heart beating stupidly fast whenever he saw the person he loved smile. He still hadn't said anything to Frank, he was waiting for the right moment, but for the time being, he felt content and good about everything going on that he didn't want to mess with it.

Currently, he was in the middle of doodling Frank killing a zombie with his guitar, blood splashing all around them as the zombie tried to reach for Frank's head, on the card that came with the roses. A knock on the door interrupted his him and he called to whoever was there to come in, wondering if Frank was home already.

A smile appeared on Gerard's face when he saw it was Diana. She must've been just back from school, her backpack in her hand.

"Hey, sweetheart." Gerard called and stood up from his desk to help her in, taking the bag from her and placing it down.

"Hey, Gee." Diana greeted back, her voice lacked enthusiasm, making Gerard frown. He kneeled to her level and saw her bothered expression.

"Hey, sweetie, everything okay? Did something happen at school?"

Diana shrugged and her expression didn't change. She looked at Gerard for a moment then asked, "where's Frankie?"

"He went out, but he'll be back soon," Gerard smiled.

"Gee," Diana called and Gerard hummed in response, "our aunt came to school today," she said, her voice quite.

"What?" Gerard asked, feeling his eyes widen, "what did she want?" He tried to keep his voice as soft as possible.

"She came to school and talked to me. She said to give Frankie this," Diana answered, obviously uncomfortable with the whole situation, extending some sort of note to Gerard.

Gerard felt instantly furious. From what he's heard from both Frank and Diana, the woman had been nothing but awful to both of them; yelling at Diana and kicking Frank out to the streets in the middle of the night. He wondered what made her think she had the right showing up to the little girl's school like that. He figured she could meet her since she was a first degree relative after all, unlike him, and a previous guardian of both Frank and Diana, still Gerard felt protective and he could tell Frank would be outraged when he hears about it.

Gerard fought to keep his smile on and extended his hand for Diana to hold hers, "how about we go get ice cream? I wouldn't tell Frank if you didn't," he winked.

Diana grinned and nodded, "okay!" She replied and ran in front of Gerard, Gerard chuckled and stood up, following Diana to the kitchen.

...

Gerard sat in the living room on the old worn out couch, holding the cup of what was supposed to be coffee.

The house was small and smelt stale. The curtains were drawn shut and dust covered everything. He supposed the place could be decent, but the lack of care around was reflected clearly. Gerard sat there and wondered how it would've felt like to have lived in it.

He looked around and tried to imagine Frank living there, sitting and enduring his aunt's yelling or nagging. He tried to imagine him walking around, taking care of Diana, or cooking dinner quietly not to disturbed their aunt.

For the most part, he couldn't imagine Frank there. He hadn't known Frank as a kid, only as the competent adult he's always seen him as. The man who worked all day and raised his baby sister on his own, but maybe that was what he's been here as well, that teenager who had to step into the shoes of an adult over night.

"So your Frank's friend?" The old woman who introduced herself as Frank's aunt, Mrs. De Martino, said from where she sat opposite Gerard, with her throaty voice and awfully smelling breath.

Gerard nodded, "I am." He answered shortly.

About fifteen minutes ago, Gerard called the number written on the note Diana gave him. Who he had assumed was Frank's aunt picked up and he told her he'd be coming to pick Frank's stuff, so she gave him the address. In ten minutes, he was there. He had left Diana working on her homework, asking Rose to keep an eye on her.

When Gerard read the piece of paper after Diana's given it to him, he knew he was thankful Diana hadn't attempted to read it. Their aunt had written for Frank to tell him to come get his parents' stuff from her house because she was selling it. From what he understood, she had went to Diana's school because she didn't know where they lived now. She didn't have Frank's phone number and only knew Diana's school because she hadn't changed it when they left.

Gerard wanted to wait for Frank, but something made him want to go there and see if he could help himself. He knew how much it hurt Frank to talk about the time he spent in his aunt's house and thought he'd spare him some pain by going himself.

"Where did you say Frankie was?" Mrs. De Martino asked in what was obviously a skeptic tone, her red eyes with huge dark circles underneath narrowing in Gerard's direction.

"He has work to do," Gerard answered, tearing his eyes off the empty liquor bottles hidden behind a table in the corner. He met the eyes of the woman who now pulled out a cigarette and lit it, still eyeing Gerard skeptically.

Gerard stared back for a second before he asked, "so where are the stuff that needs to be moved?"

Mrs. De Martino inhaled deeply form her cigarette, "I'm sorry, Mr. Uhh—"

"Way," Gerard supplied.

Mrs. De Martino nodded, "Mr. Way, but i can't let you take that stuff away without little Frankie here. For all I know you could be a thief, you know how it is,"

Gerard inhaled a deep breath and nodded, "certainly," he replied and stood up, already uncomfortable enough with the whole ordeal. He excused himself and went to the dimly lit hallway and dialed Frank's number.

Why didn't Frank ever pick up when Gerard needed him?

...

Frank showed up about half an hour after Gerard's called him.

They were currently standing in the room Gerard has been sitting in earlier, the only difference now was that Frank was standing like a statue beside him, staring at his aunt stiffly.

"Nice of your to join us, Frankie," Mrs. De Martino said first, "your friend here said you had work to do," she pointed at Gerard.

Frank nodded without glancing at Gerard, "I did, but I'm here now. My parents' stuff?" His voice was controlled carefully as he asked.

Mrs. De Martino chuckled, "sure, sure, kid." She answered, "tell me, what is it that you do now that you can keep yourself and a four year old alive?"

Gerard could see Frank's hands clench into fists by his sides, "I have a job, aunt, and Diana is not four, she's nine and we're very well, thank you for asking."

"Still playing with that guitar of yours?" Mrs. De Martino retorted mockingly, taking a drag from her cigarette.

"Occasionally, aunt. My parents' stuff?" Frank repeated sternly, obviously wanting the conversation over already.

"Frank is very close to playing professionally, actually." Mrs. De Martino was about to say something else but Gerard found himself saying that to her before she did. Both her and Frank looked at him, "he's talented and very good as I'm sure you know. He was pound to make a successful career out of it." It was true Gerard was saying that to shut the insulting manner the woman was talking to Frank in, but he still couldn't help the pride from showing in his voice.

Frank's aunt looked sharply at Gerard and narrowed her eyes as Frank reached for Gerard's hand and held it in his. "Your parents' stuff are upstairs, kid, try not to make a mess," she said and walked away from the pair. Frank looked at Gerard and mouthed a thank you before he started making his way upstairs, Gerard walking beside him.

...

"Can I come in?"

Gerard looked at the door when he heard that and smiled to Frank who was standing there. He was sitting in Frank's room, on his bed. He had left him going through his parents' things in the other room when it became apparent how much of a private matter it was to him. He was walking by the room before he looked through the open door, instantly recognizing the room as Frank's. He went in without thinking and stared at the walls with what must've been Frank's posters plastered on them, all of really great bands Gerard knew he loved. He sat on the bed and was in the middle of trying to imagine Frank living there as a boy when Frank apparently followed him.

"It's your room," he replied as Frank made his way to him then sat besides him.

Gerard stayed silent for a second before he reached for Frank's hand, rubbing it lightly, "how are you doing?" He asked.

Frank shrugged and looked at their joined hands instead of Gerard's eyes, "I'll tell you when we leave here," he sighed, "thanks for coming by the way, you didn't have to."

Gerard shrugged, "I just felt horrible for Diana. I wanted to get it over with for you, save you the trouble."

Frank sighed, "I wish you did,"

Gerard looked at him and bumped his shoulder until Frank looked back , "I'll stay as long as you want me, okay?"

Frank smiled and nodded. He broke their eye contact first and looked around the room at his posters and his desk. Gerard wondered what he was thinking of, "it's like time has stood still on this room," he commented.

Gerard looked with him, "it must be weird for you to step foot in this room now,"

Frank shrugged again and looked back at Gerard, "it isn't so bad now," he smirked, "for one thing, it's the first time I've had a boy up here,"

Gerard smiled, "yeah? No boyfriends sneaking in form the window or anything?"

Frank thought about it for a second, "no, but Jamia did sneak in once, I think she almost broke her ankle climbing down," he pointed at the window.

Gerard giggled and touched Frank's face with his hand, making him look at him. He kissed him lightly on the lips, "I'm glad I'm the first boy you brought up here,"

Frank giggled, "it's not like I had a choice in the matter," he teased.

Gerard chuckled and pumped his shoulder with Frank's, the two grinning to each other like idiots. 

...

The sun was setting as Gerard made his way up the front porch steps. He had left Frank upstairs, again feeling like he was intruding on a moment Frank would've surely wanted to be private.

So far, they had went through most boxes, Frank arranging what he wanted to take with him aside. They were mostly simple stuff, like photo albums and books. Frank hadn't spoken much to him throughout the whole thing. He would smile sadly sometimes to things he'd find and Gerard would politely look away. He excused himself after a while, telling Frank he was going out to get them some coffee from a coffee shop he's seen down the streets when he made it there. Frank kissed him and thanked him before going back to the box he was checking

When a particularly cold breeze made Gerard shiver, he decided he should go in there, check on Frank. He balanced the two coffees in one hand and pushed the door open. He was about to step through it when the shouts got to his ears.

"You kept this? You kept all of this form us all those years?" Gerard could hear Frank yelling from up the stairs.

Mrs. De Martino answered something back that Gerard couldn't hear. He walked to the bottom of the stairs and looked up in time to hear Frank answer back, "you didn't have the right to do this! They left these for us and you—"

Gerard could hear the woman groaning impatiently from the stairs, her throaty voice getting louder, "listen, boy, it was your parents who had gone off and got themselves killed. I was the only one who took you and that little brat in and kept you off the streets, and you should be thanking me for that!" She shouted angrily, "I'm not gonna stand here and listen to you disrespect everything I've done for you! Your parents' shit is all up there, take whatever you want and leave before I kick you out and burn that shit!" She was shouting by the end of it and Gerard could hear her heavy footsteps as she made her way away from Frank and then the loud echo of a door being slammed.

A couple of minutes passed afterwards and Gerard just stood there listening. The silence was deafening and he only assumed Frank was still standing there. He wondered what he'd found that caused him to go talk with his aunt in the first place. He wondered if he should go talk to him, but quickly decided against that, deciding to give him some time to recover first.

...

"Quiet an exciting evening, ha?"

Frank was giving him his back when Gerard said that so he stood away, allowing Frank to ask him to leave if he wanted to. They were standing in his old room again, but Frank was looking out the window and Gerard couldn't see his face. A second later, he could see him moving his hand towards his face and something sank in his chest. Frank was crying.

Gerard stood at loss for a moment then his legs moved on their own record and he reached for Frank's shoulder when he was close enough. "Oh, Frankie. It's okay,"

Gerard had attempted to keep his voice soothing in an attempt at being as comforting as possible, but Frank flinched under his hand and moved away.

"No, Gerard. It's really not," Frank said before he turned around and looked at Gerard. He was crying aright, his eyes red.

"Frank, I—" Gerard started but was cut off by Frank's hand moving in his direction.

"Just leave me alone, okay? You shouldn't be here—" Frank said then sniffed and attempted to wipe his face with his sleeve, "you shouldn't be here—" he repeated before he closed his eyes and let a sob out and he covered his face with his hands and started crying out loud.

Gerard could feel his heart shattering into a million pieces as he looked at the man he loved break before him. Frank looked so small, more like a boy really and Gerard wanted nothing but to comfort him, so he came closer and reached over.

"No, no," Frank said and attempted to shakily push Gerard hands away, "you aren't supposed to be here. I am. I was supposed to come here alone. Like that night, I should've been there alone," Frank was speaking through his tears, gesturing around wildly, giving up on pushing Gerard away. Gerard has always seen Frank as the strongest person he's ever known, to see him break down like that felt terrible. He wondered why all it took was a look at those boxes to break him down like that, but for now he just hushed him and hugged him tightly, letting him cry to his shoulder, as he relaxed in his arms.

"It should've been me, Gee, not them, me. I should've died that night. They should've went home to Diana." Frank cried with a small voice, still sobbing.

"Shhhhh, don't say that," Gerard said, feeling tears swell in his eyes when the thought of Frank dead crossed his mind, "don't ever say that," he repeated quietly, hugging him tighter.

Frank took a breath through his nose and moved his face away form Gerard's shoulder, tears were still all over his face, but his expression was more composed somehow, "you don't understand, Gee. I was there. I was with them in the car that night when that truck hit us," he looked at the ground, chuckling pitifully, "they came after me when I sneaked out and my car broke. I called them and they came. I survived with scratches on my forehead and arms, Gerard. Scratches! They died the second the truck hit us. They didn't even make it to the hospital."

It took Gerard a moment, but he understood now, although still felt dread fell him even as even the mere thought of Frank almost dying occurred to him, "look at me." He demanded and held Frank's face gently in his hands forcing him look at him, "it wasn't your fault, Frank, none of it. They're your parents, of course they'd want to come to you when you needed them. It wasn't your fault they died and it wasn't your fault you survived. It happened and you've done some much— Frank, you—" he took a breath and bit his lip, "if you hadn't come into my life, Frank. I wouldn't have—" Gerard almost sobbed himself, but he controlled himself, breaking down too wouldn't help anyone, "if I hadn't found you I would have never found the courage to to feel again; to love again."

Frank looked stunned for a second, "Gee—"

"I'm in love with you," Gerard said before he could talk himself out of it, because he was, with with every fiber of his being, in love with the brokenhearted boy in front of him. He was in love with this tough person who went though all he went through still strong enough to face another day. He couldn't blame Frank for breaking now. Not when he was the one who had locked himself in that house for years because he couldn't live with guilt, while Frank had fought everything despite of it.

Gerard felt the love fell his heart, his chest expanding with it to the point he felt like he would explode if he took another breath, so he let his feelings show in the way he looked the broken boy in his arms, willing his tears away.

...

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if it's clear yet, but this story is very close to an end. I'm not going to go all sad on you now (at least not before the last chapter anyway), but we most likely have 3-4 chapters left. Next one will be ready by tomorrow because I'm already 90% through it. No spoilers, but it contains some heavy shit and a lot of the plot will be explained, so yay!
> 
> Thank you for reading, please leave a comment with what our think? <3


	20. Chapter 19

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> just a quick shot out to all the amazing women out there who kick ass everyday by being who they are (or by breaking down every once and a while. It's okay we all need it.)
> 
> Love you all, enjoy.

 

It was getting closer to nine in the evening, but Frank felt like he's been awake for days.

He looked out from the car window to the parking lot and squinted trying to determine if it was Gerard who just exited the coffee shop. It was barely drizzling, but Frank couldn't make anything out. He sighed and looked back into the car, staring at his hands folded in his lap, willing his brain not to think about anything.

The car door opened, making him flinch, but soon Gerard was through it and he was smiling softly to him as he handed him his cup.

"Is it too hot?" Gerard asked when Frank flinched as he took a sip too quick; the warmth of the drink between his hands too tempting.

Frank shock his head, even though it clearly did. He just didn't want Gerard to have yet another reason to worry.

The car ride went on silently afterwards. Gerard just kept giving Frank those silent worried looks whenever he thought Frank wasn't looking and Frank hated it.

The car finally stopped, but neither men moved to get out. Frank didn't know what he was doing, until he was kissing Gerard and holding into him tightly. He felt like he hadn't kissed him in days and Gerard's lips were too soft and he tasted like coffee and he kissed back eagerly and Frank's wanted to get lost in him till he didn't know the way out. This man who loved him, who held him while he cried and who kept on loving him knowing everything about him. Frank had never had anyone who did before and he wanted to hold onto that with everything he's ever had.

Gerard stopped the kiss first, and Frank realized it was only because he had started pushing him against the door of the driver's seat.

"Frankie," Gerard breathed, touching his gloved fingers to Frank's lips to stop him from leaning in for more kissing.

"I hate this," Frank said before he could think. He realized how wrong it must've sounded because Gerard physically shrank back, "I mean this silence between us, Gee."

Gerard looked up, "I thought you were too upset to talk,"

Frank smiled. He should've known Gerard was being too Gerard; too considering towards others, "I'm not upset because of you, Gee. Can you kiss me now, please?"

Gerard smiled and did as Frank asked, only stopping again when Frank was halfway in his lap, making it clear that he didn't want just a make out.

"Frankie," Gerard sighed, letting his forehead meet the younger man's and closing his eyes. He was silent for a moment, then he wet his lips and opened his eyes, "you're not in a good mindset right now,"

Frank placed his hands on Gerard's that were surrounding his waist, "I don't care what mindset I'm in. I would want you in any," he breathed, "I've been through shittier things in my life, Gee. Believe me, one little fight with my aunt is not confusing me, if thats what you're implying," he smiled when Gerard frowned to his statement, "hey, don't make me beg. I've already been too pathetic for one evening,"

"Don't say that," Gerard almost scolded, "you know you can tell me anything. I would never judge you."

Frank grinned, "and here I thought you might be into it,"

He needed a second, but Gerard's eyes lit with acknowledgement and his face turned crimson, "I didn't—"

Gerard never got to finish what he wanted to say because Frank's tongue was already into his mouth and even God knows even Gerard could resist the temptation in the form of Frank Iero for too long.

...

Gerard's hand moved to Frank's naked side. He let his fingers trace feathery touches over the smooth tattooed skin. Frank sighed softly and hugged him closer.

Gerard's bedroom lights were off, but he could still see the lights coming from the window reflect over the beautifully tattooed olive skin of the man laying on his chest. He couldn't stop touching, tracing invisible lines and making Frank's breath hitch.

Frank looked up and met his eyes, his hand reached up and his fingers touched Gerard's face lightly, tracing his cheek bones and his nose. Gerard stared back and felt himself falling and falling as he stared into the dark eyes of the gorgeous man in his bed. He smiled.

"I'm sorry I yelled at you. I shouldn't have," Frank was whispering, but Gerard's fingers stopped his lips from moving.

"Don't, Frankie." Gerard sighed, "I understand."

Frank giggled and Gerard felt his chest expand upon hearing the sound, he missed it so much. Frank's lips kissed somewhere over his heart and Gerard could feel it give a kick, already racing but now going into overdrive.

"So I guess you don't want to hear me say it too?" He teased and Gerard could feel him smile against his chest.

Gerard breath got caught in his throat and he was about to tell Frank how he didn't have to say it if he didn't want to, but Frank has raised his head up and kissed him on the lips before he smiled to him, "I'm in love with you too,"

Gerard's felt his heart attempting to explode and there were tears in his eyes at the words. He brought his hand to Frank's face and cradled his cheek. Frank closed his eyes for a moment and then took Gerard's hand in his, brought it to his lips kissing his knuckles softly.

"Frankie," Gerard breathed and a Frank cut him off by kissing him.

...

Gerard must've fallen asleep, because when he opens his eyes next, he was alone. He shivered, feeling the cold sweep over his body as it instantly missed Frank's warmth. He wondered if he had dreamt his night with Frank, or if the tattooed guitarist had left in the middle of the night, but his bed was still warm and he figured Frank has recently gotten up.

Gerard sat in his bed and checked his bedside clock. Seeing it was getting closer to two in the morning, he looked around until he saw the French doors of his bedrooms balcony slightly ajar. He stood up and went to them, finding Frank sitting out there with his back to him, a blanket was on his shoulders. Gerard wondered if he should leave him alone and was about to hadn't the younger man seen him already and turned to give him a small smile. Gerard smiled back. He pulled some pants on and opened the door to join him.

Frank hummed contently when Gerard hugged him as he sat beside him, sharing his blanket and surrounding him with his arms.

They sat in silence for a while, their breaths rising in the cold air and Gerard kissed the side of Frank's head before he held his hand in his. He was speaking before he could think about it.

"I've always thought art school was going to be the magical solution for everything," Gerard began, feeling the words pour out of his mouth so easily, "everyone kept saying it until I believed it. Art students were always weird, right? Anyone no matter how weird had to fit in. I think that idea was what made me finish high school the least bit sane."

Frank turned his head and looked at Gerard, questioning, but Gerard gave him an assuring look and a small nod.

"You can imagine my shock when it wasn't the magical solution to anything," he attempted a chuckle and Franks mouth pulled at one end as a response. Gerard looked down form his sympathetic eyes and sighed, "nothing changed. I was still miserable, but now in a whole new place, so I was completely alone too. I didn't get it back then. Why my depression was still there when I was surrounded by everything I've ever wanted. I didn't understand what was wrong with me; why I could never be happy." He felt his eyes swell with tears but he forced himself to keep going, "that was at least until I discovered the joys of self medicating," he tried to keep his tone light, but it was getting harder; that period of his life was so dark that he hated even remembering it, but if he wanted Frank to understand he needed to say everything.

"I got in with the wrong crowd. I think they only kept me around because they knew who my family was. I didn't care I guess. The drugs and the alcohol numbed everything and I didn't have to go to some shrink to get them. I could take as much as I liked. I didn't have to feel anything. I didn't feel the emptiness or the disappointment that my life was never going to get better. I don't remember a lot of that time. If I was awake, I was either too high or drunk and time just blurred together."

Frank squeezed Gerard's hand when he fell silent. He didn't say anything but the gesture was enough.

"That went on for a year, I think, until I started failing classes and things got complicated. I was going to be kicked out soon if I didn't get my shit together. To be honest, I didn't really care, but my parents threatened they'd cut me off and I knew I wouldn't be able to keep that lifestyle going if I didn't have any money. So I started looking for a tutor who'd help me to at least pass,"

Gerard could feel a smile tug at his lips at the memories that played in his head. "By that point I had built a reputation of being the fucked up rich kid who took everything for granted around school, so one really wanted to associate with me. One person responded to the ad though. She called me and asked if I wanted to meet up..." he trailed off and fell silent, remembering their meeting.

"Anna saved me." The sentence broke the silence that had engulfed them for a minute, "she didn't just help me get my shit together for school. She literally saved my life. I was going downhill so fast it was only a matter of time before I got myself killed, accidentally or intentionally, either way it was going to happen wasn't for her,"

Gerard couldn't meet Frank's eyes anymore. He was looking at their intertwined hands and his voice got quieter with each word and he was whispering by the time he added, "I came close once. I forgot we had a lesson that evening and it was a particularly bad day. I had a fight with my dad and I was— I don't know— I just didn't want to feel. I didn't pay attention I took too much and with the alcohol..." he trailed off and felt the silent warm tears running down his face, "she found me and took me to the hospital. She saved my life."

Gerard was lost in the memories at this point. He remembered promising her he'd never do that again. She was angry at him, so angry. Gerard had never seen her like that before. He knew Mikey and Ray would've cared, but for someone who only knew him as the damaged fuck up he was to care; to get hurt that he almost killed himself. He was so confused. He didn't know anyone did. His so called friends hadn't even visited durning the following week in the hospital, and he didn't call anyone from his family or his old friends so it was only Anna who didn't leave his side for one second. She helped him get his life back on track and he was never the same.

Frank cleared his voice and asked, "what happened next?"

Gerard looked at him and met his eyes. "We dated for about a year later. It was perfect. I didn't touch alcohol or drugs all the while. I didn't need to. I was happy and I started seeing my therapist regularly. It felt like I was finally having the life I always wanted, you know?" Frank nodded, "by then I had started taking painting seriously. I had sold a few and commissions started to come my way. It was all going so well and it got even better when Anna got pregnant. We were flying through the roof. We only told close friends and family. We were so happy."

Gerard felt something inside his chest getting heavier. This was the most difficult part. This was the thing he feared telling. He hadn't recited that part to anyone before. Everyone he cared about their knowing had already lived it with him. Frank waited patiently as if he sensed how difficult it was getting for him to get the words out now. Gerard hugged him closer.

"Anna had always had heart problems as a kid. She didn't need medicating at all before, but the pregnancy took its toll on her body. She didn't tell me for the longest time, but her doctor told her it would be safer to end the pregnancy; that it didn't deserve the risk, she refused," Gerard didn't realize he was sobbing until Frank had his hands around his face and was wiping his tears away, "she didn't tell me. I had no idea. She told Mikey and Lindsey but not me. She knew I would have convinced her we didn't need the baby if it meant putting her life in danger. She went along with it, knowing that—" Gerard couldn't finish they sentence as a heart reaching sob left his mouth, he covered his mouth with his hand. He couldn't understand it even now. It hurt. It hurt so much that she could be so selfish. Frank hugged him tightly, letting him cry over his shoulder until he calmed down. It was so easy to give in to Frank's sweet hushing and just let it smooth him, but he needed to go on. He need to tell him. It was now or never.

"I was away," Gerard continued when he composed himself enough. He was avoiding Frank's eyes again, "I had to leave for some commission. I didn't want to but she insisted she'd be fine. It was only for a week and I thought it was going to be okay. It wasn't. She had some complication and her heart gave up. It was Mikey who took her to the hospital. They didn't call me. The doctor said it was her or the baby and she—" Gerard took a deep breath letting it out through his nose and he closed his eyes, feeling tears swell in them again, "she was unconscious by the time the decision needed to be made and since we weren't married, they didn't even have to call me. Mikey told them she had told him to choose the baby's life over hers if something happened so they did."

"I'm so sorry," Frank whispered, hugging Gerard, but Gerard hadn't said everything. He hadn't told him why he didn't deserve his pity. He didn't deserve to be sympathized with. Why he deserved to be locked away form the rest of humanity. Frank had to know why. Gerard leant away from his arms and put his hands over his chest, keeping him at a safe distance. Frank's eyes reflected his confusion but his compassion was still there and it ate at Gerard's heart.

"You don't understand, Frankie." Gerard gasped as he looked Frank in the eye. He needed to see it when Frank would reject him. "I was so angry when I came home. I couldn't understand what happened. Anna was dead just like that and the baby didn't survive either. A baby boy who died hours after his mom did. She was twenty, Frankie. I was so mad at myself and at everyone. Mostly at Mikey even as he explained. I blamed him. I—" Gerard sobbed and covered his mouth his hand to quiet himself.

"Gee, what did you do?" Frank's question was so quiet but it wasn't accusing. Gerard hated that. He need Frank to be angry with him. He didn't deserve the love in Frank's voice.

"I destroyed his life like he destroyed mine." Gerard confessed, "he was married by then and was about to have a baby too. I faked a document with Anna's signature on it saying she never wanted to put the baby's life over hers, that Mikey lied."

"Gee," Frank whispered and covered his mouth with his hand.

Gerard looked down because he had lied, he couldn't take seeing the rejection in the eyes of the person he loved, "he would've gone to prison. Alicia and Lindsey who's been Anna's best friends managed to prove the truth. He left once he was proved innocent and we never talked again,"

They were both silent for the longest time then. Frank didn't move. He kept his hands over Gerard shoulders and looked at him even as the latter still refused to look him in the eye. Gerard feared what he would find if he did. He feared seeing the rejection and disgust he knew he deserved. What kind of person ruins his own brother's life like that?

Underneath it all though, underneath the guilt and the fear, Gerard could still feel the relief that washed over him. He felt like a mountain has been moved off his shoulders. Now Frank could see him for who he truly was. A horrible person who didn't deserve someone as goodhearted to even spare him a glance.

"I'm so sorry, Gee." Frank said so quietly and his voice sounded so genuine. Gerard had to looked into his eyes. He saw all the concern and compassion he never would've dreamed to see there. He blinked but still didn't see any of the repulsion and disgust that he was sure had to be there, should've been there.

"To lose the person you loved in a second like that then your own brother must've been hell," Frank said.

Gerard wanted to tell him that no, he deserved it. He deserved to be punished. He deserved to be cut off from everything and everyone, but when he opened his mouth to say it, all what came out was a sob and Frank just hugged him tightly, Gerard burying his face in his neck.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> well, that was short... and tearful I guess. Anyways, here we are; the awaited bomb. What did you think? Was it expected? Do you like it or was it too much?
> 
> I had this idea in my head for too long that it's such a relief to have it written out and done.
> 
> Please, leave your opinion? If you hadn't before this is really where I would love you to.


	21. Another Snippet

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> hi, guys. This isn't exactly a chapter, but while writing chapter 20 I realized it was going to be the last, and since I'm not ready yet to part with this story, I decided to post this small scene I've written and loved. I'm sorry it's not a full update, but next one is going to be the last one and there's going to be an epilogue, and that's it.
> 
> I'm not saying goodbye yet, so enjoy.

Frank inhaled deeply.

He tried not to let his mind wander too much; tried to ground it to the beautiful painting reclined on the wall near the window.

The sun was unusually bright for a winter day. It was cloudy, but it would make an appearance every once and a while between the clouds, casting Gerard's studio in a warm glow. Frank really knew now why Gerard liked the room too much. It was difficult not to let creativity carry your mind away in such a place.

They had overslept that morning, Frank woke up to Diana shaking his arm and he almost had a head attack when he remembered where he was. Diana didn't seem to find it odd that he was in Gerard's bed, however. She let him make her breakfast and get her ready for school with her usual grumpiness in the morning and she kissed him on the cheek when he saw her to the door like always. He made a mental note to talk to her later. He needed to explain even if she seemed to understand. She was a child and didn't deserve to have unexplained drastic changes in her life just like that. He knew he should've done that already.

Yet another thing he needed to take care of as soon as possible. He sighed and tried to imagine a time where he didn't have to calculate every step he took. He couldn't.

He didn't wake Gerard till much later. He knew he was not going to like it, but after the night before, he had a feeling they both needed some rest. Gerard didn't even stir when Frank climbed back into bed with him, and in his sleep, he only shifted closer into his arms. Frank reached for the alarm and turned it off as quietly as he could.

When they did wake up, it was late.  Gerard kissed Frank and mumbled something about Frank's showcase being that night and Frank changed the subject and told him it was still a long time till then. Gerard wouldn't buy it however, and shooed him out to get ready before he could get into the office with him. He could be pretty persuasive when all he needed to aport Frank's feeble protests was a kiss.

Frank reluctantly left him, he wanted to go to his room and do as he was told, but his feet unconsciously guided him to the open door of Gerard's studio.

The saying ‘art should comfort the disturbed and disturb the comfortable,’ crossed his mind as he stared at a couple of paintings placed side by side by the wall. One caught his attention and he was transfixed by its beauty and sadness. He guessed he now understood the undertones of sadness that always seemed to shine through Gerard's art, but it never became less transfixing.

The painting's strong colors stared back at him, making Frank wonder what Gerard has been thinking while painting this particular one. He hadn't seen it before, so Gerard must've painted it for himself and not a buyer. It had a dull grey background with two figures standing facing each other in the distance, their faces and expressions unclear. What was clear was their postures, hunched on themselves but still longing to each other with the way their hands were slightly reaching. Frank could tell they were walking towards each other, but a lot of things separated them, unrecognizable dark shapes, grey clouds and shadows. The painting had too much reds in it as well and it took Frank a second to realize it was blood, covering the space between the two figures and the shadows and objects between them. The longing in it was so obvious and making Frank long for the two figures to unite, even if it was only a painting, it made him feel like the figures could meet if they tried. If the chaotic and dull world around them would allow it, or if they try a little harder.

The words Gerard confessed to him the night before crossed his mind and Frank thought about how Gerard would feel about his meeting Mikey when he tells him. He knew he needed to, especially if he was going to come with Frank that night, which he kind of made it clear he would. He was going to see Mikey and that would complicate things if—

There were warm hands around his waist and Frank gasped before realizing they were Gerard's. He smiled and lent closer into the other man's warmth without thinking. He closed his eyes.

Gerard was smiling against his neck, face buried into his hair, inhaling softly and Frank hummed contently.

"What are you doing here?" Gerard teased.

"Stalling," Frank confessed.

Gerard chuckled and just held Frank tightly for a moment. Frank opened his eyes and looked at the painting again.

"I like this one,"

Gerard looked with him. He was quiet for a moment, "I painted it when we had that stupid fight at the hotel,"

"Yeah?"

"I was mad at myself. I thought you hated me. I thought you were going to leave." Gerard confessed quietly and Frank could feel his arms tightening around him instinctively.

Frank held Gerard's hands around his waist tighter, "I could never hate you, Gee."

Gerard didn't say anything for a few moments. They just stared at the painting in silence for a while.

"I love you," it fell from Gerard lips easily in the comfortable silence, and Frank liked the novelty of the warm feeling that rose in his chest and radiated to his limbs. He could used to that. He liked how he could feel it too, radiating with every movement Gerard would make; every touch.

"Me too." Frank replied. He waited a minute before he turned around in Gerard's arms and took his hand in his.

Gerard was smiling, "so I didn't freak you out last night?"

Frank chuckled, "for that you need a lot more freaky stuff, mister. Got any hidden bodies somewhere in the house?"

"That all it takes to scare you?"

Frank grinned and was kissing Gerard the next second, "some freaky ghost backstory to the house would do. Actually, no. That'd be too awesome,"

Gerard was laughing and Frank liked the sound too much that he didn't interrupt, just moved away and went to a table with a couple of books stacked on it. He picked one at random and read the title.

Gerard was watching him curiously, but didn't say anything. Frank didn't meet his eyes, because he was being honest earlier when he told him he was stalling, even if it was stalling for a completely different reason. He tried to get his brain to work and find a way to just tell Gerard about Mikey already, but there was a song playing from somewhere now, and Frank tuned to see Gerard has turned on the stereo. Music he didn't recognize filled the room around them, and Gerard was smiling a secret smile to him.

Frank raised an eyebrow and turned the book he was looking at in his hands, "I've always wanted to read Oscar Wilde," he commented, ignoring how Gerard was now making his way to him.

"Yeah?" Gerard asked, looking over Frank's shoulder, but not touching, only hovering.

"I've always wanted to say something like, you know this reminds me of what Oscar Wilde said," he looked from the corner of his eye at Gerard who had his face close to his.

There was a moment when Frank believed he could see all the love Gerard had confessed for him shining from his eyes so clearly, but soon Morriesy's voice filled the room and the first words of The Smiths' ' _Please, Please, Please, Let Me Get What I Want_ ' filled the room. Frank smirked.

"Trying to seduce me, Mr. Way?" Frank asked innocently, patting his lashes.

Gerard shrugged, "is it working?"

Frank chuckled quietly and quirked an eyebrow, taking Gerard's hand in his and letting him pull him to the center of the room.

"Maybe,"

Frank giggled when Gerard only tilted his head and started swaying around to the music, making Frank move with him, and he thought how he would have laughed his heart out if, only a couple of months ago, someone had told him he'd be dancing in the arms of the man he loved in a room filled with art and music, feeling loved back just as intensely, and knowing that somehow everything will be alright for once.

...


	22. Chapter 20

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Trigger warning: mentions of suicide and depression.
> 
> Final chapter, guys. I'm literally tearing up over this (I cried my fill writing it already). We'll talk when you finish reading, enjoy :) 
> 
> Oh, and I have to admit that I have no idea how showcases or auditions or whatever actually work, so this is probably highly inaccurate. I'm not sure if it's more or less complicated, but, hey, it's fiction, so does it really matter?

_And if a double-decker bus_  
_Crashes into us_  
_To die by your side_  
_Is such a heavenly way to die_

They were driving in silence, but Gerard could feel the nerves practically pouncing off Frank beside him in the passenger seat. They were going to the showcase, and Gerard tried his best to get Frank to loose some of his nerves with no luck. So he remained quiet since they got into the car.

The Smiths were playing at full volume from the stereo upon Frank's request, Morrissey's voice blaring and promising someone it'd be a heavenly way to die besides them if they crash into a double-decker bus. Gerard chuckled under his breath.

"What?"

Gerard hadn't paid attention he chuckled out loud expect when Frank asked. He looked at him momentarily before he got his eyes back to the road, Frank was smiling uncertainly at him.

"Well, it's just, you know," he gestured at the radio, "the song is just being, you know," he waved his arm vaguely in the general direction of whatever the song was being, hoping Frank would drop it.

"Being what?" Frank asked and lowered the music volume, looking at Gerard expectedly.

They stopped at a red light and Gerard could look properly at Frank besides him since. He looked genuinely confused, not annoyed that Gerard was laughing at random stuff, but Gerard was still at loss of how to explain for a moment. He sighed and decided it wouldn't hurt to talk, maybe get Frank's mind off things a little.

"Well," he said and kicked the car in gear when the light turned green, "he's singing about this person who's attempting this stupid romantic clichéd comment about how _heavenly_ it would be to die with whoever with him in that car. It seems very light and given offhandedly, when he's clearly in a much darker place, possibly suicidal, and the comment just flies over people's head as this romantic delectation of love or whatever,"

"That's a dark way to think about it,"

Gerard hummed, trying not to glance at Frank's face, illuminated only by the street lights they were passing, "I suppose, but the lyrics are already dark, you know? The boy, or person or whatever, doesn't even wanna go home to, supposedly, his parents and he wants to see the world and get away. He just wants to run away. He's miserable and now is thinking about death while with his lover? Come on, it's clear how depressed he is,"

Frank was quiet for a second and Gerard wondered if he's rambled too much. They often talked about lyrics and music together and how certain songs had hidden meanings, but he's never talked about something dark like that to Frank. He's always tended to see darker aspect of things, he knew that, but he never shared that with anyone before.

"Well, I don't think so," Frank finally spoke thoughtfully, "I think he's running away with that person because he loves and trusts them. He wouldn't have run away if he was really suicidal, he would've found a way to do it without running away," Frank paused for a second, "I think he ran away because he wanted help but was too scared to ask for it, or maybe he didn't realize he wanted it,"

They were both silent for a long moment afterwards. Gerard thought about Frank's interpretation for a moment. He never thought of it that way. He looked at Frank from the corner of his eye and cracked a smile, "well, we've certainly reached a new point in lyrics analysis,"

Frank chuckled and took Gerard hand in his squeezing before letting go so he could drive properly, "I think we're onto something good. You know people get paid to interrupt lyrics these days,"

Gerard grinned, "they do?"

"Well, they should. Anyway, we're too good, we'll _make_ them pay us."

Gerard laughed and turned the volume up to listen to Morrissey now whining about his lover plagiarizing other people's work at cemeteries.

...

Frank took a deep breath and sat down, trying to calm down his jittery hands. He still had twenty minutes before he had to go on and nerves were eating him alive. He wondered who was going to be there to watch him. He didn't get to even see the stage when they got there, the bouncer letting in them in then some person showing them to backstage to some kind of a green room. He didn't know the club and hadn't been there before to even have the slightest idea of the size of the place.

The person who showed them in had told Frank to get ready but Frank didn't need to really. He was used to tuning his guitar on stage as fast as he could, so it was certainly an unexpected luxury to have a place to get ready in beforehand. He wondered if he was the only one to play tonight. He doubted it, someone was probably already playing and whoever was to play after him probably hadn't arrived yet.

He looked around and examined the room. It was bigger than the living room in his old place (but what room wasn't really) and had two sofas and a table with some snacks and a few bottles of what looked like beer or soda or something (his stomach didn't like the idea of him going there to find out). He watched Gerard take a bottle of water and giving it to him. He tried to smile but was sure it came out more as a grimace and so he settled on a whispered thank you, as Gerard came to sit besides him.

Before leaving the house, Frank had called the number that was on the card Mikey's given to him, a woman picked up and he asked her if Mikey was going to be at the showcase. She said that he probably wasn't because he was out of town.

You may call him a coward, but the relief that washed over Frank was indescribable. It meant he still had time to tell Gerard about the whole thing. Possibly when things have cooled off a bit.

Maybe Frank was making excuses, but when Gerard started explaining to him how all those times he left at night, was to go visit Anna and their baby boy's graves and how he started doing that when he heard that Mikey had moved back to town, he couldn't say what was on the tip of his tongue. He just couldn't.

"Frankie," Gerard was now saying, voice strained and Frank looked at him with concern, the horrific thought that Gerard somehow managed to read his thoughts passing through his brain.

"Huh?"

"My hand, you're kind of..." Gerard gestured at his hand in Frank's, and Frank was only then aware how he was practically crushing it. He released it at once.

"Sorry, sorry," he said and rubbed his forehead instead, closing his eyes.

Gerard chuckled, "don't worry about it. It's going to be okay. You played tons of shows before, this can't be different,"

Frank nodded. He knew Gerard was right, but this was a once in a lifetime chance, at least for a guy like him who left the music scene so long ago. It was his last chance at making a living out of music, at least for the time being. He shock his head slightly then looked at Gerard who was still smiling sympathetically at him. He would later deem the next words that would come out of his mouth to be out of a desperate attempt to occupy his mind and nothing more self destructive, but he could never tell.

"Hey, Gee?"

"Yeah?"

"Have you tried to contact Mikey ever before?"

Gerard visibly tensed, his smile flattered for a second, but didn't fall completely, "it's more complicated than that, Frankie." He said quietly, looking down to his and Frank's intertwined hands.

"Yes, but why not call him? He's your brother, no matter how bad things have gotten, you can't possibly not want to see him again?"

"Of course, I wanna see him, Frankie, that doesn't mean _he_ wants to see _me_ ,"

Frank could tell Gerard was getting uncomfortable, but that didn't make his resolution flatter. He had no idea where his confidence was even coming from at this point.

"It's been years, Gee. He must miss you,"

Frank could see Gerard turning the words in his head. He sighed and looked at Frank pleadingly.

" _He_ never tried to contact _me_ ,"

"You've never tried to contact him,"

Gerard sighed again and shock his head, "Frankie,"

"No, Gee, listen to me. You've been keeping up with your brother's news for years now from friends and family. How do you know he's not doing the same?"

"Because—"

"Listen, I'm not saying he's forgiven you or hasn't. I'm just saying if you still care why doesn't he?"

Gerard sighed and looked down. "Because I was the one to ruin his life, Frankie. He lost his family and almost his entire business and had to leave the city because of me. He used to run this small label here in the city and had to start over in another place because of me. I don't think that can be easily forgiven,"

"But he has moved back, hasn't he? And he has a family and kid. Weren't you the one who saved his business the other night form the guy who was blackmailing him?"

Gerard was listening with a strained expression before he became confused at Frank's last sentence, "how did you—"

Frank smirked, "I can put two and two together, Gee."

Gerard looked sheepishly down and sighed again. Frank knew he was searching for another excuse to say, which he knew with how smart and self-torturing Gerard can be, he was going to find sooner or later. He struggled to find a way to try and stop him but they were both interrupted when  
someone was calling Frank's name.

They both looked up and Frank's nausea returned at full swing when he saw the guy who guided them in, poking his face through the door and telling Frank he had five minutes to go on. Gerard seemed to notice immediately, because he squeezed Frank's hand, bringing his attention back to him.

"Hey, Frankie, breathe, okay?"

Frank nodded and took a deep breath through his nose. He closed his eyes and squeezed Gerard's hand one last time before getting up. He composed himself then lent down and held Gerard's face in his hands before the later could even stand.

"Just promise me you'll think about it, okay?" He asked and went in for a kiss without waiting for an answer, Gerard's muffled words of what he knew was some kind of protest dying on his lips.

Gerard kissed back eventually and stood up, still holding to Frank, "you're going to be great out there, okay? I'll be watching you and I know you'll be great,"

"It's the first time you'll be watching me play, so how do you know?" He teased.

Gerard turned slightly pink and he looked down, "well, I—" he hesitated, "I might've heard you play for Diana before," he mumbled with a grimace.

Frank giggled, most of his worry settling in the back of his mind as he smiled at how adorable Gerard looked all flustered and embarrassed, "so you think I can do it?"

"Are you kidding? At first, I always thought it was the radio before I actually saw it was you. You're great and if they don't sign you, it'll be a huge mistake to the entire music industry,"

Frank couldn't help the grin that took over his face and he blushed at the compliment, but before he could say anything else the guy called again saying they were two minutes now and Frank had to go on.

Frank moved reluctantly back form Gerard and smiled to him one last time before he took his guitar and walked out Gerard's hand in his.

...

Gerard was mesmerized.

He knew it was cliché. It was the guy he loved up there, playing his soul out, but it absolutely didn't mean that Gerard wasn't so mesmerized he was just transfixed in his place just staring at Frank up there.

Frank was playing a song of his now. He had done a couple of covers, but now he was playing something that Gerard could tell was his. Gerard hadn't heard it before, but the guitar was haunting and demanded attention. The lyrics weren't so clear, it was the presence Frank gave that captured Gerard more than anything.

It ended far more quickly than Gerard would've wanted, and he had to remind himself he needed to move and meet Frank when he would get off stage, but he couldn't. He had been to a lot of shows back in the day, Mikey used to drag him to a lot of them because of his job and he had seen many, many undiscovered bands and musicians. He knew what to look for to know, and Frank had it all; the presence and charisma to charm a room with the flick of his hand or a charming smile, but not letting that take away a fraction of his talent. He was made to be on stage, made to command a crowd. The ease he moved with up there only proved how naturally it all came to him, and, if it was possible, it made Gerard fall in love with him even more.

...

"Don't panic,"

"Good opening line,"

Gerard grinned as he said that, turning back to look at Frank. He had been looking for him for a few minutes now, because he was an idiot who couldn't move for about five minutes after Frank was off stage.

Now that he could see him up close, Gerard just pulled Frank into his arms and hugged him tightly, giggling into his ear and just feeling generally happy to see him after that performance. He was sweaty despite the brief show, but that didn't stop Gerard from wanting to hug him and kiss him till they both didn't know what to do with themselves.

"You were absolutely great up there," Gerard was saying to his ear, "I can't even describe it. Frank, you were made for this, you—" he smiled, moving back and holding Frank's face in his hands, "you were absolutely remarkable. I don't care if they sign you or not, you were made for music, Frankie."

Frank blushed intensely at the words and he was grinning so wide that Gerard didn't think he's ever seen him this happy before.

"Thanks," he said next then grimaced like he remembered something, "not that I'd don't appreciate it and I'm not so happy you think so, but I need to tell you something, now and um, please remember that I wanted it tell you but i was waiting for the perfect time and—"

"Frank," Gerard interrupted with a chuckle, "what is it?"

"Mikey's here,"

Gerard felt his whole being freeze before his brain could process the words. His hands fell from Frank's face.

"What? Here?"

"Here." Frank nodded and he held Gerard's hands in his before the latter could even tell he's began to move away, "I'm sorry I didn't tell you, but he's the one signing me and I wanted to tell you but I thought he wouldn't be here tonight but he was and, Gerard?"

Frank's words hardly made it to his brain because Gerard's brain has lost its connection with both his ears and mouth apparently. He looked back at Frank.

"Gee, I'm sorry,"

"Oh,"

"Gee?"

Gerard could barely tell Frank was apologizing or that he was calling his name.

"Yeah?"

"If you wanna leave I totally understand. You can go home and we'll talk later,"

"Oh,"

"Gee, please stop saying oh?" Frank asked quietly and squeezed Gerard's hands in his in what seemed to bring Gerard back to realty and the fact hat he needed to say something.

Mikey was here. Frank knew he was, but Mikey was _here_.

"Oh," Gerard's mouth apparently didn't understand the fact that he actually needed to say something. He shock his head and looked at Frank again, his face visibly distressed, "I mean, yeah, okay. It's okay. Mikey's here. He's here and uh—"

"Gee?" Frank called carefully.

"I need a minute," Gerard said and moved back to some chair and sat on it. He was vaguely aware of Frank sitting beside him.

Gerard had no idea how much time has passed but his brain remained completely blank, only the sentence Mikey's here playing through it on repeat.

"Where is he?"

Gerard had no idea why he was asking, but he needed to know.

Frank looked at Gerard and he hesitated before he said, "I didn't talk to him yet, but, uh, I saw him by the bar when I got off stage," Frank was speaking carefully, like he was at loss of how to act or what to do.

"I need to speak to him," the words left Gerard's mouth before the decision had even formulated in his head. He knew he needed to think this over, but he couldn't, if he did he would never do it.

"Gerard, are you sure? I mean,"

Gerard tried to smile to Frank and held his hand squeezing lightly, "I'm sure. It's okay. You go talk with the label people you need to talk to, I'll wait for you here, okay?"

"But, Mikey—"

Gerard shock his head, "I'll talk to him when you guys are done, okay?"

Frank smiled uneasily and looked at his and Gerard's joined hands as he said next, "are you sure you're, like, okay with this? I swear I wanted to tel—"

Gerard had to interrupt Frank again, "it's okay. I'm fine. We'll talk later about it, right now you need to go talk with them,"

Frank was hugging Gerard before the latter could react.

"Thank you, Gee." Frank said to his ear and Gerard hugged him back. He didn't know how much he needed it until Frank's arms were around him and he breathed his warmth in.

The hug, brief as it was, steadied him and he was more composed when Frank lent back and seemed to search his eyes for anything not right. Gerard smiled to him reassuringly and nodded which Frank took as approval, because he stood up and left.

...

Frank couldn't stop jittering around, drowning the beer he's been nursing for the past half an hour. He had left Gerard walking in the direction of where Mikey was standing exactly the minute he made his way to the bar to get a beer.

He was standing with James and Jamia now, who had been teasing each other for the past ten minutes, drinking and laughing. Frank had given up on attempting to keep up with them about the same time he got the beer bottle open.

"What do you think, Frankie?" It was James, who was midway through laughing at something, turning to look at him.

"Huh?"

"Dude, we've been talking about it since you came over," James complained halfheartedly.

"Sorry. I was just a little distracted," Frank apologized sheepishly. They were here for him and he was being the worst company possible at the moment.

"Don't worry, he'll be back any minute," Jamia said knowingly and Frank hated how easily she could read him, not even knowing anything about why Gerard's disappeared in the first place.

Frank nodded and was about to say something else before he was being hugged tightly by someone. He recognized it was Gerard and was laughing and holding him back before he knew it. He turned his head around and relief washed over him when he saw Gerard smiling at him like a manic.

"Well?"

Gerard grinned, "we talked,"

"And?"

"We just... talked. He said he missed me and we talked. I apologized and we—"

"Talked?" Frank added with a smile, completely disregarding how weird heir conversation must've looked to the others, around, but he was so relieved and happy that he didn't care.

"Yeah," Gerard smiled back, "we talked. He's not mad at me, Frankie. Well, he kind of is, but not in the way I thought he was. He said what's in the past is in the past and I can't believe—"

"Hey, Gee?" Frank chuckled, "breath, okay?

"Yeah, yeah." Gerard said breathlessly. "I am. I do. I just—"

"I know," Frank said back. He didn't think he's ever seen the other man so happy before in his whole time he knew him and it made him indescribably happy to see him like that.

"I'm so happy, Frankie." Gerard finally said, confirming Frank's thoughts and smiling again with his hand running through his hair, before he seemed to remember something because he smacked himself on the head and Frank giggled.

"Oh god, your showcase! How did it go? What did they say?"

"That they're signing me." Frank replied with a grin.

"Oh god," Gerard covered his mouth with his hand and lent in to kiss Frank's lips lightly, "not that I expected anything else, but, god, they are?"

Frank laughed, "yeah. I have a meeting with them tomorrow and they want me to go into a studio next week." He laughed, "next week, Gee."

Gerard was laughing too, then he smirked  
"That's amazing, but you know what it means."

"What?"

"I'm going to need your two weeks notice,"

Frank placed his hand over his chest and feigned being heartbroken, "you're firing me?"

Gerard grinned, "yup." He didn't miss a beat, "you know now when the album is done you'll probably have to go on tours and stuff,"

Frank was laughing again, "well, aren't we ambitious."

"Yup. There are going to be a lots of fans too,"

"Groupies?"

"Nah," Gerard waved his hand dismissively, "you'll have a hot boyfriend no one can compete with back home who's too in love with you to notice anyone else,"

"Oh, see him anywhere?" Frank teased and He knew he was being corny but he couldn't help it. It still earned him a light shoulder shove.

"Ouch," he laughed and shoved Gerard lightly back.

When he looked back at Gerard, the man was looking at him with so much love Frank felt like his heart was going to explode with it, "I'm so proud of you,"

Frank grinned and kissed him.

 

 

_Fin._

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm so, so proud of how this story has come and I know it wouldn't have been shit without anyone who's stuck around so far and kept on reading. I have no other words to say but thank you. 
> 
> There's going to be an epilogue very soon to tie some loose ends and give a proper ending, other than that, this story is finally over.
> 
> If you're interested, I have a new story, it's called Crimson Reflections. It's Ferard and it's about mafia and crimes and falling in love. I love it so much and have written a few chapters in it already. It'd make me very happy if you check it out. 
> 
> Thank you again for reading, love to you,


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